It Would Be You
by hisbrainisonfire
Summary: An AU Huddy fic.Take it back to the beginning. Back to the infarction and back to Stacy. Their second one night stand would leave them with more than just pain and regret. How they deal with that will define their relationship for the rest of their lives
1. This is not the End

**A.N.: Welcome to my attempt at Huddy. For those of you following Maybe I'm Amazed, do not worry yourselves. I told you that I will be doing this along side that, so I will do my best to balance out updates on both. Depending on how my muse feels I am pretty sure I will be able to keep that promise.**

**Understand this ladies and gentleman, this is AU. Unfortunately all Huddy fics are AU from now on thanks to Lisa E's decision to leave, but this one is even more AU than just because it is Huddy. You will see why down the line, and hopefully you won't kick my ass for it. I enjoy the plot I have in the works, so I am hoping you will too. I am going to try my best to keep my ideas fresh and interesting. Try to trust me, m'kay?**

**There is going to be some time jumping, but I promise to indicate every time I make a leap in time. I think after the first five chapters I will pretty much be done skipping around on you guys.**

**Timeline wise I am trying my best to make good guestimations as to where in their past they would be. I am basing it off the idea that Cuddy is as of 2011 43 years old. I am saying that their one night stand in college happened when she was 21 in 1989. Can we just accept that as fact? If David Shore and company can get away with House having two different birthdays I think I should be able to get away with my timeline being a little iffy.**

**Wilson is going to be playing a pretty big part in this, but I swear to bob he will only be a friend. There is no Wuddy here other than as friendship, and there sure as hell will be no Hilson other than as friendship. Strictly Huddy. Deal with it. -puts on sunglasses-**

**I think I am good on my warnings now.**

**I don't own House. I am just boring them and giving them a different life.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_November 14, 1989._

There had not been any expectations. She had never assumed that him following her to bed that night would mean that he would now be her boyfriend, but that did not stop the pang of hurt she felt from his hit it and quit it actions. Lisa Cuddy was no man's whore, but she was also not naive enough to think she had meant more to him than just sex. But even so, did he have to up and completely disappear the way he had?

It had not been a surprise to wake up to not only an empty bed, but also a throbbing headache. She had consumed a bit too much alcohol, so of course she would be paying the price for the rest of the day. In vain she had looked around her dorm room for a note or a scrap of clothing. Some sort of proof that Gregory House had in fact shared her bed, but the only proof she had was the sore feeling dwelling between her legs. That thought brought a small smile to her face. She may have consumed a fair bit of alcohol, but she remembered every touch, every kiss perfectly. She didn't regret their night together at all. She was actually flying on quite a high from it. For a purely sexual meeting it had been... intense. He had been doting and fully focused on her needs and pleasures. He met every one of her moaned demands without complaint or comment, which in comparison with his usual need to be contrary in casual conversation it was a little surprising. After it was over he had stayed. He had held her. His hold had been gentle and kind. They didn't talk. What was there to say? She had no idea what time he had left, but she was curious to ask him. She had made a mental note to ask him when she saw him in endocrinology class.

But a week later she still hadn't seen him again. She had asked around, but no one seemed to know where he had went. There were a few rumors that he was simply at his apartment on a bender. Others told stories of him being given his degree early so that he could treat the dean's wife, who was rumored to be dying of a mysterious infection. She was pretty sure that neither of these rumors had any credibility. She didn't like the idea, but she was fairly certain that he was avoiding her. It was idiotic really. She wasn't the clingy type. She hadn't told him she expected anything more than the sex she had been given.

Her friends tried to distract her. They tried too much, actually. She attempted to tell them that she didn't need to be cheered up. She wasn't upset. Confused, maybe, but not upset. She didn't think that she deserved to be ignored the way he was obviously doing.

Later she would learn that he had been kicked out of school.

Much later she would learn that he had wanted to see if they would have possibly worked out together.

But one thing she knew for sure even back then, Gregory House had made his first impression on her life that night. One night of amazing sex was the beginning of their history. This was not the end. They had so much more to go from there.


	2. Pain Without Love

**A.N.: Yes the prologue was short. It was just an introductory thing. MORE NAO**

**I do not own. Just some borrowing.**

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><p><em>June 06, 1999<em>

Lisa Ann Cuddy, now thirty years old, has been working as the Dean of Medicine at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching hospital for almost two years now. She thanks God everyday that Human Resources did not notice her little lie about her age. People still have a few issues taking her seriously, but her incredible attention to detail and her non nonsense attitude leaves little room for anyone to question her. Her career has gone just as she always would have dreamed. She is in love with her job, and can not say that she has any complaints at all. Her mother, however, would not agree. Every week she calls her mother and every week she is berated for not having shown any interest in fixing her lack of a love life.

It is not a lack of want to have someone else in her life that keeps her from finding a man. She just has... Standards. She refuses to settle for less than what she wants, and what she wants is a fire that she hasn't felt since her college days. The men she comes in contact with are inherently boring. She has yet to find someone to captivate her attention. It doesn't help that she has not really taken the time from her job to find someone either. Almost every day and every night is spent at PPTH. She doesn't regret it. She lets her mother complain away. She knows that she can't stop her, so she won't even try. She is sure that one day she will find someone to fill that spot in her life, but until then she is content in the life she has built for herself in sanctuary that is her job.

Her full attention had been focused on her computer screen, but when her eyes began to blur she knew it was time to give that a rest. She leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms above her head listening as her joints popped. She needed to try and move around a bit more often. Through the glass doors of her office a few of the nurses out in the clinic shifted their gaze appreciatively onto their stretching boss. She was wearing a simple red cap sleeved v neck top and a grey pencil skirt. The jacket that accompanied it was currently hanging on the coat rack, but the men of the hospital preferred that she go without. Her long dark hair fell down to almost her mid back. She was a sight to behold for sure. The older members of the board often grumbled at their dean's choice of clothing. It certainly wasn't normal for Deans of Medicine to dress so... provocatively, but she seemed to ignore every snide remark made in regards to her clothing. She was making a statement. She was a professional in a man's world. She refused to get lost in it. She refused to let herself or anyone else forget that she was first and foremost a woman. No one ever would forget.

A commotion in the clinic stole the nurse's away from their boss, but they quickly found themselves in need of her assistance.

Her phone rang and she reached out to answer it, "Dr. Cuddy."

"Um.. Dr. Cuddy you are needed in the clinic." On the phone and outside her doors she could hear a man screaming.

"I'm on my way." She slammed the phone down and jumped up out of her chair. Seconds later she was in the clinic staring at a familiar form with her mouth agape.

"You are by far the most idiotic of all the idiot doctors I have met to date! I let you stick a catheter up my penis for Christ's sake! I do not need more God damn blood work I need an MRI! I am telling you that you won't regret it. Give me the MRI and we will both win. You will feel good about helping the man that all the others have written off as a drug seeker, and I will actually get treated! It is a win win!" The familiar man yelled at Dr. Forester.

Dr. Forester shook his head, "I need to run the blood work first. Please come with me into the exam room and we can discuss it." He insisted.

"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU JUST GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN MRI!"

"Dr. Forester." Lisa said firmly finally stepping up now that the shock of seeing Greg House for the first time in almost ten years had worn off. Both men turned to look at her. Recognition clicked in House's eyes almost immediately, but she didn't address him just yet, "Are you going to explain to me what is going on here?"

Dr. Forester shuffled over to her quickly and handed House's file to her, "He came in for leg pain... We thought that he was just here for drugs." He was trying to whisper, but House had walked over too and could hear him.

"Cuddy, your co-worker is a moron. Please please tell him he is a moron." His eyes were roving over her figure, "You look good by the way, and by good I mean smoking hot. The years have been kind to you." Even in pain he could still find the strength to be a pig.

She didn't raise her eyes from the file, "I would say the same to you, but I don't like to lie. You look like shit."

Dr. Forester looked between them, "You two know each other?"

House nodded, "Of course. She used to be my snuggle muffin."

Lisa rolled her eyes and closed he file, "I knew him in college." She muttered her explanation before straightening her back, "He is my patient now, Forester. You can go back to your clinic duty."

House raised his eyebrow, "Do you normally order people around like that?" He was partially impressed and partially confused, but most of all he was intrigued. What had become of Lisa Cuddy after all these years? This was a welcome distraction to his leg pain.

She signaled for a nurse to bring a wheel chair, "I am the Dean of Medicine, so yes I get to order people around all I want." She took hold of he wheelchair and gestured to it, "Sit. We are going to radiology."

House took a deep, relieved breath before sitting down as he was told, "Thank you." He muttered, "So this is what happened to you after Michigan. I'm impressed. Aren't you like... Only thirty five?"

She rolled her eyes and began to push him, "Thirty, thank you very much."

"I didn't notice a ring. No marriage yet?" He had his eyes closed and was taking deep breaths. If he could just focus on her, he wouldn't think about the pain.

She chuckled a little, "Do you really think I managed to become Dean of Medicine at thirty years old by allowing myself to have any semblance of a love life?" She brought him to radiology and set about the task of bumping someone off the list so that she could get him in.

Once he was inside the machine he still continued to talk, "So no man. I am guessing no children. Your life is super boring Cuddy."

Lisa hit the button for the intercom and talked to him, "This works better if you don't talk, House. So cut it out."

He allowed a small smile to play his lips, but he did shut up.

In a matter of seconds Lisa saw the problem and gasped. An infarction. He had wanted the MRI. Had he known?

She shut off the machine and moved out to get him out of the machine. When he sat up she looked at him gravely, "Did you know?"

He stared down at the floor, "An infarction?"

She simply nodded.

He took a deep breath, "Yeah... Yeah I knew."

She reached out and placed a hand on his arm, "House.. This is my case now. We will do whatever we can to help. I promise you that much."

He lifted his eyes to search hers and nodded his head a little, "Ok." He was placing his trust in her.

She gave his arm a squeeze and offered him a reassuring smile, "Lets get you admitted."

He stood up and moved back into he wheelchair, "I need you to call Princeton General. I'm working there right now. Let them know I won't be leaving for a while."

She pushed the chair towards admitting, "No problem."

"I am also going to give you the number for Stacy Malone. She is my girlfriend. She's also my proxy, so she should probably be here."

Lisa's heart clenched when he said this. She had not expected him to be with someone. Maybe she should have, but he had never seemed like the girlfriend type. She brushed off the clench as simply the remnants of her school girl crush on the legendary Gregory House, "Ok. I will take care of it all."


	3. We Are Broken

**A.N.: Anyone worried about the lack of Stacy so far can rest peacefully. I have plans for her, just not right now.**

**See the M rating? Yeah I meant it. Read at your own risk.**

**NO OWNING.**

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><p><em>January 16, 2000<em>

The millineum came and went without any real significance. Lisa's days had become monotonous. They were split between work and making sure House had not killed himself that day. After the surgery that she had allowed to be performed on House things had not been the same. He hated her. She could feel it in the heat of his gaze. He blamed her. He blamed Stacy. He blamed the world. Stacy had obviously felt his hate as well. Two weeks before Christmas she had taken her leave. She didn't just leave House high and dry though. She had left Lisa as well. They had both made a pact to take care of him. Lisa would make sure that he went to his physical therapy and actually tried while Stacy was there for him on a more personal level. Stacy's absence left Lisa trying to do it all. Wilson, House's only and best friend, came to her assistance at the very beginning of January. They had met shortly after House's surgery. He was an extremely nice man with great hair and bushy eyebrows. He was quickly becoming a big help. In exchange for his help she had given him a place among her staff. It hadn't been a big sacrifice on her part. He was a great doctor, and she was sure that he would be perfect to take up the head of the department when Dr. Collins finally stepped down. In way of a job, House didn't have one. In his current state he certainly couldn't hold one. He had tried very briefly to return to Princeton General, but when he showed up to work not only drunk but smelling strongly of vomit he was quickly relieved of his place. This was the first time that he was fired simply because he wasn't trying worth a damn.

Lisa had no idea how to help him. The mixture of pain and betrayal from Stacy's departure was drowning him. It was absolutely breaking her heart. She felt responsible for his pain. She should have told Stacy no. She should have insisted that they wait to talk him into the surgery, but she was his proxy. What she said went. She often wondered if he would ever really forgive her.

It was almost six when she began to pack up for the day. She had put in an order for a pizza to pick up and bring to House's apartment for herself, House, and Wilson to eat. They had been trying to bring House out of his depression by surrounding him with friendship. If he could just see that he wasn't alone maybe he would start trying to live again. He had barely been trying at his physical therapy sessions, but at least he was still going. At this point Lisa found herself constantly clinging to the small blessings.

She had been about to walk out of her office when she almost ran smack dab into Wilson. She laughed a little and backed up, "You scared me!" She told him and smacked his chest, "I was just on my way out. I will be there with the pizza in about ten minutes."

Wilson chuckled a little, "Sorry about that Cuddy. Actually I came down to tell you I won't be able to make it. I have to stay with my patient. She won't be holding on for much longer." His face was full of remorse. He knew it was not easy to go to see him on her own. House still very much held a grudge against Cuddy. Wilson was positive that he only allowed her to come around because he was painfully aware how few people he had in his life.

Her face immediately fell, "You know he won't be happy to see me."

Wilson patted her shoulder lightly, "I know, but you can handle it. Just feed him and make sure he isn't passed out in a puddle of his own vomit. He will get better in time. I know it."

Lisa was sure that people who called her naive had never met James Wilson. When it came to House that man could see the silver lining on anything that House did, "Ok. Yeah it will be ok."

Wilson gave her an encouraging smile before walking out to go back to the elevators.

Lisa took a deep breath and forced herself to walk out of the office. This was going to be a long night.

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><p>She was at House's door fifteen minutes later with a pizza in one hand while she used the other to knock.<p>

"I'm not getting up!" She heard being bellowed on the other side of the door.

With a sigh she let herself in, "I could have been anyone you know. I could have been a thief." She carefully hung up her coat before walking over to he couch that he was sprawled out on so that she could put the pizza down on the coffee table.

"What the fuck do I have that anyone would possibly want?" He didn't even bother to raise his eyes or make a comment about getting her abnormally large ass out of the way of his tv. Great, tonight was going to be a performance of his indifference about her presence. At least that would be better than his anger.

She moved to the kitchen deciding to ignore his comment. After a few moments she was back with a water for herself and a soda for him. He had sat up and began eating on the pizza so she took her place on the other side of the sofa.

He spared a glance for the coke she put in front of him and scoffed, "I want a beer."

She reached across him and grabbed a slice of pizza for herself, "It smells like a bar in here. I am fairly sure you have had enough alcohol for one night. If you want a beer so bad get up and get it yourself. I will not be enabling you tonight."

This caused him to finally look at her with a half annoyed half pissed gaze, "Oh really? What the fuck do you call coming over every night to feed me and clean up after me? Do you really think this isn't textbook enabling? Do you think that what you are doing is good? That it will help me? It won't. Nothing is going to change because you are here. I won't get better. My leg won't stop hurting. I will not see that light and want to fight for some idiot's idea of a happy life. You are just guilty about letting Stacy do what she did, as you should be. Who am I to stop you from coming over to feed and fuss over me. I get free food and the chance to openly mock you without you saying a damn thing about it."

Lisa was fuming now. She threw down her pizza back into he box and turned back to look at him. For months she had been biting her tongue, but she was done, "I am here because you are a friend. I am here because I care. Maybe I started coming because of my guilt, but I kept coming because I care about you. I want you to see that just because you are in pain doesn't mean your life is over. Just because Stacy up and bailed doesn't mean everyone else will too. You aren't alone. You are never alone, but you don't care. You push me away the same way you kept pushing Stacy away. You try to push Wilson away, but you don't have the strength to fight him off. We aren't going anywhere. You have a problem with that, then you can just fucking deal. I am tired of your mouth. Eat your pizza, watch your tv, and shut the fuck up." She had snapped and it surprised her and him. After months of letting him take hurtful digs at her she was finally standing up for herself. It was impressive and slightly disturbing.

He tilted his head continuing to watch her as she took her pizza back up and ate. After a long while he spoke again, "I don't need you." His words were cold. He meant them. He would never again depend on someone let alone the woman who had helped take out a chunk of his leg.

She shrugged a little, "I don't care."

"I hate you." His words were dripping with acid. He was aiming to hurt. He wanted to get under her skin again. He was looking for a fight.

"You don't." She stated simply. He could talk all he wanted, but she had said her piece.

"Get out." His voice was rising. If she wasn't going to fight with him then she was of no use to him. He needed more than a punching bag to just sit there and let him do as he pleased.

She turned her head to look at him calmly, "I will leave when I am done with my pizza." She had no intention of leaving. She had told him she was not going anywhere and she meant it. This man who had done nothing to earn her loyalty had it whole heartedly. She would never be able to explain it, but she couldn't leave him alone in that apartment even if she tried. Her life was bound to Gregory House's. She accepted that as simple fact.

He quickly snatched the piece out of her hand and threw it across the room without any care, "Now you are done." He snapped. His eyes were daring her to fight. Daring her to challenge him.

She narrowed her eyes. God he was annoying! Couldn't he just accept that she was here for him whether he wanted her to be or not! He should feel lucky. She was a damn good friend after all. She leaned forward invading his personal space. His face was merely a breath away from hers and they never even for a second broke eye contact. Her hand was outstretched and she grabbed another piece of pizza out of the box. He stared at her as she took a bite of that slice basically telling him , 'What are you going to do now?' with defiance roaring bright in her eyes.

He took hold of her wrist with a painfully strong grip. It surprised her enough to elicit a little yelp from her lips and cause her to drop the slice of pizza from her hold. He finally took his eyes off of hers to lean forward and take two of her fingers in his mouth. He sucked roughly removing every trace of grease and marinara sauce from her slender digits.

This... This was something she did not see coming. Desire burned deep in her, and she could not stifle the small moan that escaped her. What the hell was he doing? He had just been gunning for a fight. Now he wanted to fuck? Well over a years worth of abstinence from sex had her more than willing, but it was a bad idea. Such a bad idea.

His removed her fingers from his mouth and placed his stare back on her. His gorgeous blue eyes were lit up with anger, but mostly lust. He had a lot of frustrations to burn off. He did not want to have sex with her. He did not want to make love to her. No, what he had in mind was carnal and vicious. It would not be nice, but hey he was not a nice man. A smirk slid across his lips when he found himself staring into her grey eyes seeing the lust he was feeling echoed there. They were no strangers to one night stands. She could handle it. Certainly she knew better than to think this was his way of courting her. She was no idiot.

Lisa leaned forward and captured his lips. She was tired of he staring contest they had going on. She did not just want to eye fuck with him. If they were going to do this then damn it why not just jump right on in? Consequences be damned. Consequences could wait until after she was done having sex with Greg House. Memories of their past rendezvous drove her even more towards what could possibly the biggest mistake of her life. She bit down on his bottom lip and tugged eliciting a groan from her partner in sin.

House grabbed hold of her and pushed her roughly back so that he could lay on top of her. They awkwardly kissed while he tried to find a comfortable position for his leg. The tight confines of the couch were proving to be a huge pain in the ass.

After minutes of kisses in between his fidgeting she pulled away in annoyance and looked up at him, "Fuck this. Can't we just move to the bed?"

He rolled his eyes at that, "I'm sorry were you expecting it to be easy fucking a cripple?"

She mimicked his eye roll, "I highly doubt what I feel against my thigh is in any way crippled. I don't want to fuck your leg, so quit playing the victim and take me into the bedroom." She demanded. She wasn't going to let him feel sorry for himself right now.

A genuine smile finally made its way onto his lips. She wasn't treating him like he was impaired. She just wanted sex. Stacy had always been worried about his leg. Cuddy didn't care. Well... She cared, but she was trusting him to handle himself, "You are so demanding when you're horny. Come on." He carefully extracted himself from on top of her and stood up.

Lisa got up off the couch and walked in front of him heading towards the bedroom. As she went she stripped. She dropped articles of clothing here and there pretending to not be fully aware of House's eyes on her as shed her clothes.

When they finally got to the bedroom House clasped his hand over the swell of one of her ass cheeks. He raised his eyes to the ceiling in appreciation, "I think it remembers my hand."

Lisa moved her hand to lay over the bulge of his jeans applying pressure, "Funny I think a part of you remembers me too." While her hand was there she began to undo his pants, "You have too much clothes on." He merely smirked at that and helped her remove his clothes. He kept his eyes glued to her to see if she would stare at his scar. Sure she had seen it before, but that didn't matter. This was different. They were going to fuck. IF she was disgusted he wanted to know, but if it bothered her she didn't let him see it. The moment he was naked she was kissing him again.

This prompted House to push her up against the wall. Their tongues fought for dominance while his hands roved her body. One hand squeezed her ass possessively while the other groped at her breast. He broke contact with her mouth to kiss down to the one breast he was not showering with attention with his hand. He ran his tongue around her nipple before biting roughly. He could hear her gasp then moan. The mixture of pleasure with pain something that she was reveling in.

His attentions to her body were not gentle. They did not give her the allusion that this would be something she would be looking back on with a fond smile. A lecherous smile, maybe. A wet dream down the road, maybe, but definitely not a fond smile. The hand that had been on her ass moved forward between her legs to test her. She knew what he would find there. She was soaking wet. The mixture of want for him and the lack of sex in her life enough to leave her more than ready for him. She did her best to ignore the chuckle and the small smile she could feel playing the lips that were pressed against her breast, "It's been a while. Don't inflate that ego of yours too much." She tried to sound harsh, but that was hard to do when her sentence ended in a loud moan as his thumb brushed up against her clit.

He raised his head from her breast to look her in the eye, "Oh yeah. None of that is because of me at all." Without warning he shoved two fingers inside her and smiled smugly when her eyes closed and her hips bucked against his hand. He was proudly displaying just how not handicapped he was. He may not be able to walk with a regular gait, but he sure as hell could make Lisa Cuddy scream just the same as she had that one night so long ago.

"House..." She moaned out his name as his fingers worked inside of her threatening to be her very undoing, "The bed.. Please.." She was begging. She couldn't fucking believe it, but it had been too long. He was there. Right there. She reached out and stroked the length of his manhood trying to convince him to let them take this further. He wanted it too, she was sure. His impressive erection was more than enough proof of that.

Her actions got her a moan from him, but he was not quite ready to move to the bed. He was riding high on endorphins, so he was going to stand here and tease her with his fingers until he was able to watch her climax, "Not yet. Patience." He insisted as his fingers worked faster inside her and his thumb massaged her clit. He didn't have to wait long. His long fingers did their job and left her crying out in elation as her body spasmed and shook against the wall. When it had passed she leaned forward bracing herself against him for support. She was trying to catch her breath, but he removed his hand from within her and licked it clean before pushing her back up against the wall. He moved from her and motioned to the bed, "We aren't done here. Lay down." His smug smile let her know that he was thoroughly pleased with himself.

She looked from the bed to him giving herself a minute before she made her way on shaky legs to the bed. She had never felt more like a whore in her life, but it was barely registering in her brain. She was much too focused on the fact that he was standing there completely naked and how much she currently wanted him buried deep inside her.

Once she was on he bed he carefully layed himself between her legs. He used his upper body to keep pressure off not only her but also his leg. Once he was sure that he was steady he moved himself fully inside her with one strong thrust. His groan was muffled by her loud cry. He closed his eyes gave her a minute to adapt to his size. She wasn't lying when she said it had been a while for her, "Fuck, Cuddy. Have you even had any sex since college?"

She brought her nails to his back and scratched down it, "Shut up, and fuck me." The pain of his initial entrance had faded, and she was ready. She didn't need him to ruin it with his idea of humor.

He didn't fight her on it. Now that he had the green light he was more than happy to thrust into her. He kept his pace fast and hard. He wasn't going to spare her any gentility, and frankly she didn't want it. They were both getting what they wanted out of it.

She was a loud lover, but he had tuned her out. With his eyes closed he could pretend. He could imagine it was Stacy that he was mercilessly fucking. She hadn't left. He hadn't driven her away. She still loved him.

Lisa didn't even notice his closed eyes. She was too busy focusing on moving her hips to meet his every thrust. She was lost in the sea of pleasure he had created for her, and before long she was climaxing for a second time that night with him following not long after her.

She cried out his name. He cried out Stacy's.

Her eyes snapped open and she immediately stopped moving. He had been thinking about Stacy. How could she have been so stupid!

He made quick work of moving off of her, "Get out." He whispered. He was embarrassed. He had left himself vulnerable in that moment. He could actually feel her looking in on his pain. She could really see the love that was left even after the betrayal. That very thought made him sick to his stomach.

"What?" She was still trying to catch her breath. She couldn't believe it. Was he seriously kicking her out after all that.

"I SAID GET OUT!" He screamed as best he could through the panting. He needed her gone.

She bit her lip and quickly moved out of the bed. She grabbed hold of the nightstand when she almost fell. She was sore, and that would make walking out of here not only awkward, but also very embarrassing. Then again after the person you were just having sex with calls out his ex lovers name instead of yours you don't get much more embarrassing than that.

It took her a bit to get dressed in the hallway, but she finally made her way out of the apartment doing her best to hide he fact that she was walking like she had something stuck up between her legs.

She didn't allow herself to cry until she was in the safety of her own home. What the hell had she just allowed to happen. How were they supposed to continue on as friends? He would probably not even allow her within five feet of him now. She was most definitely fucked in every sense of the word.


	4. Take a Chance

**A.N.: So I hope you guys didn't run screaming from my very first attempt at smut. BE NICE TO ME.**

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far. YOU ROCK!**

**I do not own the House crew.**

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><p><em>January 26, 2000<em>

Lisa tried her damnedest to forget her sexual encounter with House, but there was no use. In the moments when she allowed her mind to wander from her work she was remembering his hands on her. From there she would remember the way he had felt inside her, then from there she would remember hearing Stacy's name pass through his lips instead of hers. It was enough to make her physically ill. She couldn't blame him, really. It had barely been a month since she left. She shouldn't be offended or hurt, but she was. She couldn't help it. She didn't want to admit to the feelings she had for Greg House, but the more she thought about what had passed between them and her feelings on the matter after the more she had to force herself to accept the fact that she did in fact like him enough to have come out on the other end hurt this time. She wished she could figure out what the hell drew him to her. He had shown her nothing but contempt for months on end, but still she kept coming back for more. Certainly he was attractive. He was brilliant. Always had been. Was she in love with the ghost of her former crush? Possibly. She could still remember how he had looked out on the field playing lacrosse. She could remember every day she had sought to be near him in class. Every memory was carefully tucked away from the day she had met him in the book store to the night of their one night stand. They were good memories. Was she waiting for that man to come back into her life? Had she just been hoping that he would appear like a phoenix from the ash of the mess that was his current situation? It was possible. All she knew was that she couldn't deny the man. She was drawn like a moth to the flame that was Greg House, but now she couldn't even show his face around her.

It had been hard to explain to Wilson that she could no longer go with him to see House. All she told him was that they had had a huge fight, and now she needed a break. House must have backed up her excuse because Wilson had yet to call her on her lie. He still came to her with updates about House, and she was happy for that. Just because she was too embarrassed to face him didn't mean she didn't want to be sure that he was still doing alright.

On this particular day she found herself buried under budget proposals from the pediatric ward. They wanted to expand due to an inflation of pediatric cases in the last few months. They seemed to think that all it would take was a few proposals to get the ball rolling. God how wrong they really were. She was positive that for a project this big she was going to have to find a donor to back it. Nothing was ever that simple.

Because of this she had skipped lunch. Hell she hadn't even ventured outside of her office from the time she had arrived that morning. A knock against the glass signaled a visitor, but she didn't bother to look up. She simply called out a, "Come in." to the person on the other side of the door.

"We have a problem." Wilson didn't waste time getting to the point. He walked over and dropped a note down on her desk, "I found that on his door."

_Jimmy and/or Cuddy,_

_Got a job out in California. They offered it a while back, and I think I am finally ready to take it. Thanks for all the food. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Wish me luck keeping the beach bunnies off my jock._

_House_

She stared at the note for what seemed like ages before shaking her head, "Leave it to House to make it seem like him leaving is simply doing us a favor." She looked up to Wilson with concern written in her eyes, "What are we going to do?"

Wilson shrugged a little, "What can we do? I don't even know where in California he went. I talked to his landlord. The guy said House gave his notice last week and that the movers are coming to pack up tomorrow. Apparently House left last night after I checked up on him."

Lisa rubbed her forehead then leaned back in her chair, "So we just let him go?"

Wilson took a deep breath and nodded a little, "Yeah. Yeah I think that is all we can really do. He has to deal with all of this himself. If we are lucky he will at least call."

"I guess you are right." She said quietly. She couldn't believe he was gone. She knew that it had been awkward, but she never for a moment thought that he would just up and leave like that. It reminded her so much of waking up to an empty bed so long ago. At least this time he had left a note.

She could feel Wilson's eyes on her so she looked up and flashed him a smile, "Well.. All we can do is hope right? I should probably get back to my budget proposals."

He nodded and mirrored her smile, "Right. Good luck with that. We can have dinner later, ok?"

She agreed and watched him leave. She had no idea how to wrap her mind around the sudden absence of Gregory House from her life once again. She couldn't help blaming herself. She should have stopped their encounter dead in its tracks, but she didn't and now he was gone. She could only hope that he would find a way to be happy out in California. Maybe what he needed was a clean slate.

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><p><em>March 2, 2000<em>

After many mornings filled with trips to the bathroom and two full months without a period, Lisa Cuddy was forced to face the music. Or she was forced to face the pregnancy test in any case. She had been trying her best to ignore the symptoms, but denial would not change the fact that was staring her straight in the face. A smiley face on the pregnancy test confirmed that fact. She was pregnant with Greg House's child. The confirmation brought on another bought of nausea, and she moved on the floor of her bathroom so that she could empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. What the hell was she going to do? He was clear across the United States, and he sure as hell was not roll model material. Could she do it alone? Did she want to? Her job demanded almost all of her time. Was she willing to find time for a child? Would it be fair to give the child only the bare minimum of her time? She didn't even know if she even wanted to be a mother. Every time she had imagined being a mother she had always pictured a husband to go along with it. She wouldn't have that here.

She moved away from the toilet and leaned her back against the wall. She had to take this seriously. This would be a life altering decision. She couldn't really picture herself as a single mother, but she also couldn't picture herself terminating the pregnancy. What she could picture was a tiny baby with House's blue eyes and her dark hair. God that would be a gorgeous child. And smart. Between the two of them that child would probably be getting its PH.D. at the age of two. Ok, so that was pushing, but at least the thought made her smile.

She brought a hand up to cover her flat abdomen. She was going to have Greg House's baby. She couldn't give that up. This would probably be the only good thing that would come out of that horrible night. She wouldn't try to find him. If anyone asks she will just tell them that she had decided to try IVF. She doubted anyone would find fault in it. She kept her personal life private. For all anyone knew she was craving a child. Wilson might be a little bit harder to convince, but after a little pushing he would probably just go straight into his mothering mode. In her pregnant state he would have someone new to dote on after House's absence left a hole in that area.

She found herself laughing as she sat there staring at the wall. She was really going to do this. It would be a change, but maybe it would be good. At least she wouldn't be alone anymore. It was certainly worth a chance.


	5. When You Have a Child

**A.N.: Working graveyard shifts for the last two nights has officially fucked up my sleep schedule. I SHOULD BE SLEEPING NOT WRITING!**

**Oh well. Seems like you guys are profiting from my lack of sleep. This will be my fifth update of the day. Enjoy.**

**If I owned House shit would be very different.**

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><p><em>September 2000<em>

Lisa Ann Cuddy welcomes baby girl Gwendolyn Rae Cuddy. Nine pounds two ounces, twenty one inches long. It was no wonder she had felt like an inflated balloon by the end of her pregnancy. Gwen was in now way shape or form a small baby. Much to her mother's delight the baby girl had been born with a full head of whispy dark hair, long fingers and toes, and exquisitely brilliant blue eyes that told of her biological father. This had piqued Wilson's interest, but he did not dare to bring it up. He had tried prying into the origin of Gwen when Lisa had told him of her pregnancy, but he quickly back tracked from the topic when she subjected him to a lecture about how women were perfectly capable of wanting to have children even if a man was not in the picture. Her anger that day had been something to behold and certainly not something he wanted to experience again. Once was by far more than enough. Instead of questioning the origin of the girl's piercing blue eyes he simply settled himself happily into the role of uncle Jimmy. He played the part of the child's godfather perfectly showering her with toys, including an over sized duck that she would not really be able to enjoy until much later in life.

Arlene Cuddy made an appearance along with Lisa's sister Julia and her father Douglas Cuddy. They were unable to make it to the hospital for her actual birth due to a cruise they had taken, but they showed up a week after.

Arlene stood impatiently outside of Lisa's door after knocking loudly to get her eldest daughter's attention, "I swear she takes absolutely forever." She mumbled impatiently causing Julia to chuckle.

Douglas rolled his eyes and placed his arm around Arlene's shoulder, "My dear, Lisa has a baby to attend to. For all we know she was putting the child down for a nap. Her schedule most certainly does not revolve around answering the door for her guests."

Douglas held in his appearance so may of Lisa's attributes. His nose, his hair, and his smile all spoke of Lisa. Everything else she had gotten from her mother. He was a taller man dressed casually in slacks and a polo. Everything about him told of him being absolutely at ease with his life and who he was. While Arlene constantly questioned her daughters and harped on their every decision, Douglas accepted them with open arms. Arlene's harsh treatment of their oldest daughter pushed her away and into the arms of her father. Arlene had her close relationship with Julia while Douglas had his with Lisa. It might not have been right, but that was just how it was. While he loved both his daughters equally he still found himself closer to Lisa.

Arlene had been about to retort when Lisa opened the door with Gwen perched up on her shoulder attempting to snooze, "Mom, Dad Julia." She greeted them in turn and stepped aside so that they could walk in, "I was just about to put her down."

Douglas was the first to move forward and hold his arms out, "Surely it can wait a moment so that her grandpa can tell her hello." The kind looking man was gazing at his daughter and granddaughter with open love and devotion playing in his eyes. If Arlene was ice, Douglas was fire, constantly warm. He took hold of Gwen from her mother and marveled at the tiny baby that looked up at him with bright blue eyes questioning why she had been taken from her comfortable perch. He chuckled and tickled her chin lightly with his finger, "She is absolutely perfect, Lisa. I am so proud of you." He kissed his daughter's cheek before finally moving out of the hallway and going into the living room.

Julia hugged her sister and spoke her congratulations before following Douglas to get a better look at Gwen.

Arlene moved forward and gave her daughter a tight smile, "I would most certainly hope she would be perfect. Her sperm was hand picked after all." She gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek before following the rest of her family into the living room.

Lisa closed her eyes and forced her mother's rude comment to simply roll off her back. If only she knew how not planned this whole situation had truly been. She would have a lot more to be snarky about if she did.

When she finally collected herself she went to join her family. Instead of joining the female Cuddy's on the couch she instead chose to perch herself on the arm of the recliner that Douglas was sitting in with Gwen. She had to smile at the sight of her father staring adoringly down at her daughter. It was a perfect picture.

Douglas pried his eyes away from Gwen to smile up at Lisa, "Are you happy?" It was such a simple question, but also one that was impossibly loaded. He needed to hear that his baby girl had found happiness in her life. He knew she loved her job, but there was so much more to life than just a career. He wanted her to experience all the good things that life had to offer. Her perfect little angel was definitely something that she should be enjoying.

Lisa's heart swelled at the question. Was she happy? She was. More than she ever thought she could be. The very first moment that she had felt Gwen move inside her she had known that she had made the right decision. Her nights would no longer be lonely. She had something more than just her hospital to live for. She let a big grin creep across her lips, and she nodded at her father, "Yes, daddy. I am incredibly happy."

"Well I would hope so. You are stuck now, Lisa. Its not like you can just give her back." Arlene didn't mean to be cruel. She loved her daughter, but she in no way understood her. She could not grasp such an independent life style, but in her own way she was proud. Lisa was brilliant. She was beautiful. What was there to not be proud of?

Lisa narrowed her gaze on her mother and found herself moving ever so slightly closer to her father and her daughter, "I had no intention of trying to give her back. She is my daughter. I love her."

Arlene nodded curtly, "Good."

As much as Arlene would never understand Lisa, Lisa was sure she would never understand her mother. She cast her gaze down on her father who could only shrug his shoulders and give her a 'what can you do?' look.

Julia piped up trying to fight off the tension that her mother had brought onto the group, "What's her full name again?"

This brought a smile back to Lisa's lips. She was always happy to talk about Gwen, "Gwendolyn Rae"

Douglas nodded and traced the curve of his granddaughter's cheek, "A fine name."

Arlene shrugged, "A little whore-ish but it will do."

Lisa stood up immediately as if ready to attack her mother, "Ok, no. You can snipe at me all you want, but you will not talk about Gwen that way. I have no tolerance for that, period."

Arlene looked taken aback and waved her hand at her daughter, "Calm down, Lisa. I was merely stating an opinion."

"You were saying her name was whore-ish! I can't even imagine what makes it ok in your sick head to talk about your granddaughter that way!"

Her loud and upset tone caused Gwen to wail. Lisa instantly transformed from upset and protective to comforting and doting. She scooped her up and tucked her against her chest talking to her in hushed calming tones.

Douglas was well aware that he should have made this visit on his own. Lisa and Arlene never could make it more than five minutes without fighting. He stood up and moved over to Arlene, "Gwen is tired. We should go."

Arlene huffed a little, but complied none the less. She made her quick goodbyes to Lisa before walking out. Julia did the same, rushing out to calm her seething mother.

Douglas, however, took his time. He gave his daughter a gentle hug careful not to smash the baby between them, "I will be back very soon to see you both. You know your mother means well. She is just a bit... harsh."

Lisa shook her head, "I should have ignored her. I just... couldn't allow her to talk that way about Gwen."

Douglas gave her a fond smile and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "You felt a need to protect your daughter. That is what being a parent is about." He then turned his gaze on Gwen, "She really is perfect, Lisa. I am so proud of you."

Lisa leaned in and kissed her father's cheek, "You always say you are proud of me."

"I always am." He gave her a final hug before heading out to deal with wife.

It had only been ten minutes, but she found herself exhausted and very happy to see her mother go, "Gwen I promise you that I will never ever talk to you that way." Her words had fallen on deaf ears though. In the safety of her mother's arms Gwen had drifted off to sleep content to ignore the passing of the Cuddy family.

Lisa rolled her eyes a little at her sleeping daughter, "Your father could nap through almost anything too." Her words caused an unintentional tug at her heart. She briefly wondered how House was doing. Wilson talked to him from time to time. She knew that he was working in Los Angeles. She wondered if he thought of her from time to time, but quickly brushed that thought off. They had been friends at best. He probably still blamed her for his pain. Staring down at Gwen she knew one thing for sure. She had the absolute best part of Greg House there in her arms.


	6. Let the Flames Begin

**A.N.: We have now hit the moment when I stop skipping so much time. After this the jumps should be much smaller. Yay for me xD Anyway, I hope you are all still with me. Thanks for your reviews!**

**I do not own.**

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><p><em>August 2001<em>

Gwendolyn Cuddy had become the sun that Lisa Cuddy's life orbited around. Balancing her career and her motherhood had been a challenge to say the least, but it was one that she took on with gusto. She hired a nanny that she trusted, and did her absolute best to be home at a decent time every night. No decision was made without Gwen being considered. Even her dating life had to have Gwen balanced in it. She had met Derrek when Gwen was merely six months old. They had ran into each other in the super market. He was a handsome man to be sure. Tall with a broad chest, gorgeous green eyes, and thick dark hair, but this was no what she noticed first. What she noticed was the way he interacted with Gwen. His attention was focused fully on making the little girl in the shopping cart instead of focusing on Cuddy's cleavage as most other men did. This was what had brought her to accept his invitation to dinner. They have now been dating for five months, rarely going out without Gwen with them. So far he seemed too good to be true, but Lisa refused to over think it. She was happy and Gwen loved the attention he showered on her.

The again who wouldn't shower attention on Gwen? She was an incredibly adorable and bright eleven month old girl. Her eyes were wide and bright constantly taking in her surroundings. She was already pulling herself up and trying to stand on her own much to the delight/horror of her mother. Delight because she was learning so quickly. Horror because she feared her daughter falling and hurting herself, but Gwen seemed oblivious to any fear or concern. She crawled around the house in abandon causing her mother to constantly be tracking her every little move.

On a particularly busy Wednesday Lisa had been forced to bring Gwen to work with her, much to the delight of all of the nurses in the clinic. Her nanny had fallen ill, and there was no way Lisa was willing to put Gwen in daycare, not when the flu had been running rapid among the kids. She merely canceled what few meetings she had that day and kept Gwen in a play pen in her office. The girl didn't seem to mind all that much. Gwen was more than a little familiar with the hospital. At times it was almost like a second home. She was content to sit in the pen and play with the toys that her mother had brought along for the day.

Lisa found herself stuck on the phone with an extremely exasperating donor. He was demanding her presence at a charity dinner that night, but she was trying to explain that with her nanny being sick there would be no way that she would be able to be there. He was not ready to give up without a fight, though. She continued to console the man while watching Gwen pull herself up by the railing of the play pen. When she saw that she had her mother's attention she squealed in delight and hit her rattle up against the railing with a bang. Lisa bit back a laughed and waved her fingers at her daughter letting her know that she was in fact acknowledging all the noise that her daughter was making to get her attention.

With her focus so partially on the donor but mostly on her daughter she had absolutely no chance to notice the man that was standing at her door staring at the scene before him. When he had finally gathered himself he walked through the door without warning carrying a file in his hand.

The door opening alerted Lisa to the presence of someone in her office, and she nearly dropped the phone at the sight of Gregory House standing in the middle of her office staring at their daughter.

Gwen had taken note of his presence as well and turned her head to offer him a giggle and a big smile in greeting.

"Mr. Baxter I'm sorry, but I have to go. There is an emergency I need to attend to." She explained cutting off the donor before hanging up the phone. She cleared her throat and got up to lean against the front of her desk near the play pen, "House... It has been a while. You look good." She wasn't lying either. The year and a half since she had last seen him had done him well. He no longer had the look of a drunken hobo. He still kept up his signature scruffy look of a five o'clock shadow, rocker t-shirts, and jeans, but that had always worked for him. He didn't smell of alcohol. He was leaning heavy on his cane, but with the infarction that was not surprising. His time away had in fact proven useful to him.

House acknowledge what she said with a nod, but he did not take his eyes off Gwen, "And you still look fuckable, but that really isn't the point here is it. No. No it isn't." He finally tore his eyes from Gwen and pointed his cane at her, "How old is it?"

Lisa bristled a little when he dared to call her daughter 'it', "_She_," She emphasized the proper pronoun, "Is eleven months."

House nodded a little and held out the file, "I came for a job, but you know discussing whether or not that little poop factory is my daughter is cool too."

"You want a job?" Lisa grabbed onto that part of his sentence like a life preserver. She opened the file and started going over his resume, "God, House. How many times have you been fired?"

"Enough." He said with a roll of his eyes. He took the seat farthest from Gwen and bounced his cane against the floor, "Cut the crap, Cuddy. That kid has my eyes."

Lisa cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably, "A few people have mentioned the same." In fact Wilson had not been the only ones to notice. Those who had been around during House's stay in Princeton had speculated, but never did they dare ask. The bright blue of the child's eyes were undeniable.

"Damn it Cuddy just say it!" He raised his voice getting a little aggravated by her evasions.

Lisa glanced at Gwen who had been a little startled by his tone, "Do I really need to say it? You can do the math."

"Yeah the math is pretty fucking disturbing. If I do the math makes me realize that you have been hiding the existence of my kid for over a year. That's pretty fucked up even for you."

Lisa glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest, "What was I supposed to do? Chase you to California? You didn't want to see me. You didn't even say goodbye. Just because I got pregnant didn't make what happened between us any more than it was. You didn't owe me a damn thing just because we forgot to use protection."

House rolled his eyes, "So instead of telling me about my kid you decided to play the martyr? Real nice. Suits you perfect."

She moved from the desk to stand right in front of his chair, "Oh come off it. What would you have done had I told you?"

"I'm not heartless! I could have helped!" He was not at all happy with how little she seemed to think of him.

She rolled her eyes, "I didn't need your money. I didn't need you."

"I had every right to know that I had a kid. It should have been my choice as to whether I wanted to be in her life. You didn't even give me a God damn chance to do the right thing."

"Do the right thing? Like what, marry me? I didn't need your pity."

House stood up and got right in her face, "You are so busy trying to come off as the bad ass independent woman, that you don't even see the fucking point! The right thing would have been to be in her life! To share a bit of the responsibility and be a father!" His yelling set off Gwen who began to whimper.

In an instant Cuddy scooped her up and cradled her against her, "You are right House." She spoke calmly, "But think back. Were you capable of being a good thing for her then? I had to think of what was good for her too. Would you have been a positive presence in her life?"

House looked down feeling a little bit bad for having caused the girl any upset, "She might have been a positive presence in mine. You had no way of knowing." His voice was quiet. He was hurt, "After all that crap about being there for me not only did you stop coming to see me after that night, you kept this from me on top of that. That's bullshit Cuddy and you know it."

It was Cuddy's turn to look down in shame. He was right, "I am so sorry, House. You're right. I failed you."

House rolled his eyes, "Come on, Cuddy. Stop with the guilt." He sighed a little, "You were being the protective mother or whatever. I wasn't exactly in a great place." He moved over to them and held out his arms, "Do I get to hold my mini-me or what?" He was masking the curiosity he held for his daughter. He had no idea what the tiny of product of his un holy union with Cuddy was like.

Lisa nodded and handed the child over. She didn't move away, though. She stood close and ready to be there for Gwen should she be needed.

House and Gwen were studying each other with inquisitive gazes. Gwen, however, was the first to make a move. She reached out and patted his cheek with her tiny hand only to draw it back in shock. Her eyes were wide with wonder. His stubble had scratched her hand in a way she had never felt. Both her grandpa, Derrek, and her uncle Jimmy had clean shaven faces. This new person most certainly did not.

House cracked a small smile at her surprise. As an experiment he moved his chin to brush up against her cheek. She squirmed a little in his arms and squealed in delight at the funny sensation she felt. He could do nothing more than laugh at her reactions.

Lisa was watching in absolute adoration of the scene in front of her. House's sudden presence in her life was certainly something she would have to adapt to, but if it would continue to be anything like this she would embrace it with open arms. A part of her knew that he would be back in her life, and an even larger part was pleased that it finally happened.

House was surprised to say the least at what he had found when he entered Lisa Cuddy's office, but he had learned a long time ago that life was constantly ready to throw you curve balls. He looked away from Gwen to Lisa, "What's her name?"

Lisa grinned and crossed her arms over her chest, "Is mini-me and poop machine not good enough to call her?" She teased.

"Tell me my daughter's name, Cuddy." He insisted in all seriousness.

She bit her lip and answered him, "Gwendolyn Rae Cuddy."

The possessive part of him despised that his daughter did not have the House name. It was not important in the long run, but he had missed so much already thanks to Cuddy's assumptions and need to protect their child. All the same he accepted the name with a nod, "Gwen."

She smiled again and nodded her head, "Gwen." She confirmed.

He reached up and caressed his daughter's cheek carefully before looking at Cuddy again, "I am serious about the job."

"I figured you were. Give me a little bit to think it over. I am sure I can find a place for you."

His eyes went back to Gwen, "Find a place for me with her too." He told her in a completely serious tone, "She is mine." He was marking his new found territory. The bright blue eyes that stared at him with the same curious look that he often had completely captivated him. He found himself staring at the future that he never knew he wanted.

Lisa was taken about by his possessive statement, but quickly found her footing, "Ours." She reminded him.

He rolled his eyes, "God Cuddy, I know. I am not trying to steal her. I just want to be included. You owe me at least that much."

In her heart she knew he was right, "Ok. Yeah, we can find a place for you with her as well."

Content with that answer he handed his daughter back to her mother, "Good." He shifted his weight and motioned to the file he gave her, "My number is in there. Call me when you figure out what you want to do about a job and about Gwen."

Lisa cuddled Gwen close to her body and nodded, "I will."

With that House took his leave. Lisa found herself still staring out the doors even after he was gone. Finally she tore her gaze away and place it back on her daughter, "Ohh Gwen. I have a distinct feeling that our lives are about to get very interesting." Gwen merely laughed and wiggled ready to get out of her mother's grasp and back to her toys.


	7. Let's Make a Deal

**A.N.: Note to self. Get more specifics when you are told that family is coming to visit. I totally got kicked out of my bed. It was not cool, and on top of that I did not get to get on my computer because my cousins attacked it. CLEVER, GUYS! Use the guilt of never seeing you to get me to give up my computer. That should be against the law.**

**In news that is actually relevant to you guys, I appreciate all the follows and reviews! It makes my Huddy heart feel all warm and accepted. 3333**

**I think that is all I have to say. ON WITH THE SHOW THEN!**

**I do not own these characters. I am just a borrower**

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><p>Lisa Cuddy was by nature a control freak. It was not something she readily admitted, but she did know the absolute truth of the matter. She held the firm belief that if she didn't do something it would never get done right. No one else could organize or plan the way she could. So when it came to the matter of finding a place for Greg House among her staff there was no one that she would go to for assistance. No one else knew him the way she did nor did they know the way her hospital functioned the way she did, or at least that is what she was telling herself.<p>

There was a lot of different things to keep in mind. First and foremost she needed to think of House's style of treating patients. She had seen and heard a lot when he was in med school at Michigan, but she had never really seen him practice. This was what prompted her to call his former bosses. Every last one of them was ready and willing to spill about every single thing he had ever done to deserve to get the boot. He broke rules. He offended patients. He was simply a law suit waiting to happen, but there was one main thing that they had in common. When she asked if he was right about his diagnosis of the patient each and every one of them begrudgingly owned up to the fact that he had actually got the right diagnosis, but they would repeat all the horrible things he had done along the way to the diagnosis. After all her phone calls she came to the conclusion that she had always known all along. He was brilliant, but he was an ass. If she was to actually take him on he was going to be a handful and then some. Her gaze drifted over to Gwen, who was having to spend her third day in the play pen in Lisa's office because Marina was still very much under the weather. She owed it to Gwen to try and give her father a job and keep him around. Hell she owed it to House. She had kept the existence of his child from him. She honestly did think it had been for the best, but that nagging guilt in the back of her mind kept playing his words back to her. Gwen could have been good for him. She could have forced him to get out of the hole he had dug for himself that much sooner, but the rational part of her repeated that she had no way of knowing how he would have reacted. He could have hurt her. Not on purpose, but what if one day she had been crying while he was in the middle of a bad bought of pain? That was a big possibility. It still was. She had no idea how he was managing his pain. They needed to talk about it no matter how much she was sure that he would not want to. She was not going to take any chances. She couldn't afford that. Not when it came to Gwen.

She took the weekend to complete the proposal for House. It was going to be hell to pitch to the board, but she was almost completely positive that she could win them over on the idea. If it all worked out the way she wanted it to it could be a big for the hospital. She had told Derrek that she was busy with work all weekend, which was in fact true. She didn't want to tell him about House until they had properly talked. She didn't even know what she would say. She had told everyone she did IVF to get Gwen. Now that he was in the picture that would change everything.

A call to House on Sunday set up a meeting between the two of them on Monday. Marina was finally well enough to take care of Gwen so when he walked in to her office for their meeting she was no where in sight, "Where is the kid?"

Lisa bit her bottom lip and looked up at him, "Gwen is with the nanny." She was almost positive that he was refraining from using her name just to irk her. She was right, "Have a seat please." She told him gesturing to the chair in front of her desk.

He grinned and did as he was told, "So formal for a woman who was knocked up with my kid."

Lisa shot him a glare, "Dr. House we are here about business. I suggest you start acting accordingly or I will rescind this offer before it is even made." Her voice was deadly serious. She needed him to know that he was dealing with the Dean of Medicine right now not is two night stand.

House kept his mouth shut and offered her a nod to let her know that he understood and that she could proceed.

She returned the nod and sat up a little straighter. She held out a folder to him, "This is a tentative contract of what I want to offer to you. Should you agree and should the board approve it it will go from tentative to permanent. Basically what I want to do is create a complete department around you. You will be the head of Diagnostics. The idea is that all of the cases that other doctors can not figure out will get referred to you. You will hand pick the cases that you want to take on. Now, you know that this is a teaching hospital. Your budget will give you just enough money for you to find yourself three fellows."

He snorted but didn't look up as he flipped through the contract, "I don't need fellows. I fly solo."

"House, if you want this job you will take on fellows. It is not like I am making you take on med students. You have a reputation for cutting edge medicine and 'different' ways of treating patients. People from all around the world will apply to work with you even if it is only out of curiosity to see if the rumors about your asinine ways are true. You will have the pick of the litter to be your sounding board."

He shrugged a little, but didn't object. He knew a sweet deal when he heard one, but he was sure that there was a catch. He was not getting attached to the idea until she came clean with the catch.

Satisfied that he wasn't arguing she continued on, "Now, every doctor in this hospital has an obligation of three hours per week to work in the clinic."

"No." He told her flat out.

She narrowed her gaze, "This is not a point of negotiation. Should you take this job, it will be in your contract. If you can't live with that then the door is right behind you."

"Cuddy, I do not wipe noses and check out crotch rot. I am a doctor."

"Doctors around the world do that every day. It is only three hours a week. You will live."

"And if I don't?"

"Live? Well then I will plan you a nice funeral."

He rolled his eyes, "No, what if I don't do the hours."

"Then your contract will be null in void and I will have the freedom to fire you."

He sighed a little and leaned back in the chair observing her with a keen eye, "What are he rest of the conditions?"

She wasn't about to pretend like she didn't know what he was asking, "You will attend all charity functions given by this hospital. If this department works out the way I really hope it does you will known even more widely than you already are. You are going to bring in donations just by doing your job. Having you there will be even more of a prompt for donors to cough up money."

He gave her a look of disgust, "I am going to be your trophy wife?"

A smirk crept across her lips and she leaned back in her chair, "Damn straight."

He scoffed and pretended to be offended, "I am not a whore you know. You can't just use me that way." He took hold of the ends of his jacket and pulled them tighter around his chest as if trying to cover himself up.

She rolled her eyes, "House, get real here. You know this is the deal of a lifetime."

He shrugged, "I've seen better." But he was looking at her chest.

She lifted her chin defiantly, "No you haven't." She defended both her deal and her breasts.

He sighed a little, "Ok fine I haven't, but I'm not happy about the charity shit or the clinic hours."

"They are my only demands. The rest we will deal with on a case to case basis."

He raised a questioning eyebrow, "We?"

"Who do you think you are reporting to? I am going to try my damnedest to keep you from breaking any laws. Anything life threatening or experimental goes through me. I will also be sure that your fellows know that they can come to me to stop you if you have taken anything too far." She explained with ease.

"So you are going to train my fellows to spy for you?"

"No I am going to train them to have the common sense that you obviously lack."

He folded his hands over the file and just stared at her for a while, "Ok." He said after a while of silence.

"Ok what?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ok I will take the deal if the board takes your bait." He told her as he placed the folder back on her desk.

She flashed him a victorious smile, "Excellent."

"What about Gwen?" He asked almost automatically.

She felt herself tense and she frowned, "What about her?"

"I told you I wanted you to find me a place with her too." He explained in a serious tone, "Where do I fall in with her?"

She bit her lower lip and crossed her legs trying to keep hold of her professional demeanor, "I don't know." She admitted, "What do you even want? Being in her life is a very broad want."

He shrugged a little, "I don't know. Come on Cuddy I just want what is rightfully mine. I want to see her. I want to be there for her."

"So what you just want visitation rights?" She watched as he nodded, "Well, you can come see her whenever you like as long as you call first."

He furrowed his brow and frowned, "I can't just pick her up?"

She shook her head, "Not at first. She doesn't know you."

"And who's fault is that?" He snapped.

She visibly flinched, but kept her ground, "Mine. I accept that, but she is still my daughter. She has never been a night without me. She is friendly, but it took her days to acclimate to being left with the nanny and that was as an infant. Let her get to know you first, then we will see about letting her go with just you."

He rolled his eyes, but he knew he couldn't fight her on that point. He was a stranger to his own daughter, "Fine." He tossed his cane from hand to hand then asked, "Does Wilson know she is mine?"

Lisa shook her head, "I am sure he has his suspicions, but I have never told him. As far as he and everyone else knows I went through IVF."

"Great so I get to be the dirty little secret." He scoffed.

She shrugged, "I don't know how to deal with this. I honestly had never planned on what would happen should you ever show up again."

He sighed, "I guess we could just tell them I donated sperm upon your request. Though Wilson will know better."

She relaxed and nodded, "Wilson can know the truth. He would never believe you selfless enough to give up your sperm for my wants."

"Hey! I did give up my sperm for your wants."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah and you got nothing out of the deal."

She seemed to be willing not to address the obvious, but House cleared his throat and looked up at the ceiling, "I'm... sorry by the way."

She raised both eyebrows, "You are apologizing? For..." But before she could even get it out it hit her, "Oh.. Don't apologize for that House. It was my fault. It was too soon after Stacy. I should have known."

"Your sense of guilt really is perverse, Cuddy. Do you blame yourself for everything?"

She laughed a little, "Sure I do. Everything from sleeping with you to global warming is my fault."

"It was good though, right?" He was looking to have his ego stroked. That night was embarassing for the both of them.

She smiled a little and nodded, "Yeah. It was good up until that very last moment."

"It wasn't your fault. You were great... I was just..." He couldn't find the words. He didn't talk about his feelings.

"I know. Its ok. Really."

He was happy to be let out of talking and gave her a faint smile, "Good." He stood up, "Can I come by later to see Gwen?"

"Sure." She stood up and moved around her desk to extend her hand to him to shake, "Goodbye Dr. House."

He forced himself not to roll his eyes at her formality, but instead took her hand and pulled her to him making her press against his chest moving his free hand to wrap around her waist and hold her there.

She was visibly flustered with a blush rising in her cheeks as she looked up at him.

He dipped his head down and whispered in her ear, "Goodbye Dr. Cuddy." He released his hold on her then walked out of the office leaving her standing there completely stunned. He took immense pleasure on shaking her up that way. His ego soared through the roof with the confirmation that Lisa Cuddy was still in fact hot for him. Some things would never change.


	8. Univited

**A.N.: Not much to say.**

**I don't own!**

* * *

><p>House's contract was signed two days later after Lisa sold the idea to the board. They were wary of his reputation, but she assured them that allowing her to open the Diagnostics department was a move that would help them to become one of the highest ranked teaching hospitals in the country. They trusted her to make the right decisions, but also made sure she knew that she would be held accountable for whatever mistakes House would make. This was not anything she didn't expect from the beginning. She was technically accountable for every doctor in the hospital, the difference was that none of them had the same reputation as the infamous doctor House. Though she would never admit to it, she was worried. The chances of him listening to her were very slim, but she assured herself that could find ways to force him to listen. She was reminded of why she was doing this for the last two afternoons. He had come over for two hours each day to play with Gwen. They didn't do much, she was only eleven months after all, but he seemed captivated by her curiosity. He talked to her as if she was a grown up, not a child. Lisa was glad of this. She was never a fan of baby talk, and she would have been very much afraid if he had started talking to their daughter in a cutesy baby voice.<p>

"Alright I have a cramp from signing too many papers. Show me to my office." House demanded. He was eager to see where he was going to be working for at least the next three years, according to his contract.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, "You are such a child. You only had to sign in three places." She moved around the desk and signaled for him to follow behind her to go up to his office.

He took this moment to check out her backside. The pink sweater she wore had given him a magnificent view of her chest, but now he was staring at the grey pencil skirt that hugged her ass so tight that it seemed to be clinging on for dear life, "If I was a child you would be a pedophile for seducing me with that outfit the way you are Dr. Cuddy. Aren't there rules about sexual harassment, because frankly just by swaying your hips the way you are I feel harassed."

She stepped into the elevator and gave him an exasperated sigh, "My outfit is fine. You just have an obsession with my anatomy."

"I like big butts and I can not lie." He stated as if it was fact.

"Well I suggest you find a well formed hooker then."

"Didn't I already?" He asked cocking his head to the side in a confused manner, "Should I get a running start from your pimp?"

"As if you could run anyway." She quipped before exiting the elevator.

He stood in shock for a moment then walked after her with an amused smile, "Nice." That smile quickly faded though when he stood in front of the office that was now adorned with his name, "Why in the name of all that is holy and good can I see straight into my office."

"Because even morons can see through glass." She said as she opened the door and walked in, "This was the only office left, and I figured it would be perfect with the conference room attached for your fellows."

He shook his head, "This is bogus." The back door caught his eye and he looked out, "At least I have a balcony. Who has the next door office?"

Wilson pushed open the door just as he asked and smiled at the sight of his friend, "I do."

House turned and threw his hands up in mock surprise, "Jimmy! How delightful! We are neighbors!"

Wilson nodded, "We are. Cuddy told me she hooked you up with this gig."

"Did she also tell you I've been visiting my daughter." He grinned broadly at Cuddy as she slapped her palm against her forehead. There were much better ways to tell Wilson about Gwen's paternity, "What love muffin? I was just wondering how much you had told him."

Wilson held up his hands, "Woah! Wait! Gwen really is yours?" When House nodded Wilson punched the air, "I KNEW IT! You two had sex that last night!" At that thought he looked between them, "Wait... Love muffin... You two are together now?"

Cuddy's head immediately shot up, "NO!" She protested, "He is just being an ass as usual. We aren't together."

House pretended to look hurt, "Well you didn't have to answer so quickly."

Wilson nodded, "Oh I should have known."

Cuddy felt her cell vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw Derrek's number on the id, "I will be right back." She said before exiting to answer her call.

House furrowed his brow and watched her leave, "Who the hell could she be talking to that she couldn't have just answered in here?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Anyone that she didn't want to hear you in the background asking her where your pants are. I wouldn't have taken the call around you either."

House rolled his eyes right back at him, "Spoil sport. So how long did you know?"

"About Gwen? House I have suspected it since she was born. Before even, but I didn't want to upset Cuddy. Gwen has your eyes."

House nodded and shifted his weight, "I know."

"So are you ready to be daddy?" Wilson inquired.

House snorted, "I don't know if anyone is ever really ready, but she is here so what choice do I have? I'm not going to pretend like I don't know. She deserves more than that."

"She does." Wilson glanced through the glass at Cuddy, "What are you going to do about Cuddy?"

"I'm not really sure what you mean."

Wilson shrugged a little, "She is the mother of your child. Do you want to be with her?"

"Wilson, I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but you don't actually have to be in love to have a child."

"So you would just be ok with Cuddy finding a man and making that man Gwen's step dad."

At that House tensed. He had only known about Gwen for about a week. He hadn't even considered that Cuddy could be dating let alone get married to someone else. He had always felt like he had this... invisible claim over Cuddy. She could date around but it never got serious. She would always be around if he decided to want her. It was like putting a tag on something that you want to save for later, "She won't do that."

"Oh yeah because she is going to be alone forever." Wilson knew about Derrek, but he was not going to be the one to mention it. House would have to deal with all of that in his own time.

House shrugged, "She has impossible standards. No one will ever meet them."

"We will see." Wilson said before Cuddy came back in.

"Who were you on the phone with?" House asked curiously.

"Your mother." She stated calmly before turning to Wilson, "Did you ever ask Julie if she would be off to come to the Oncology fundraiser Friday?"

Wilson nodded, "Yeah she got off. We are sitting with you, right?"

"Yeah. Dr. Richardson tried to work his way onto my table. You and Julie were my saving grace."

Wilson chuckled at that, "He is persistent for a sixty year old."

Cuddy crossed her arms over her chest and huffed out some air, "I am pretty sure he got a new Viagra prescription."

Wilson made a disgusted face, "I don't need to think about that."

Tired of being left out of the conversation House piped up, "I'm not going."

Wilson looked over at him, "Do you even know what it is?"

House shook his head, "Something for charity. That's all I need to know."

Cuddy glanced at her watch, "House I am not forcing you to go to this one. You just now signed your contract." She looked back up at him, "Come on. It's five. I need to let Marina go home and you can spend some time with Gwen."

House was surprised and very curious as to why Cuddy was letting him off the hook. He was not about to let this go just yet, but he agreed to go with her after they both said their goodbyes to Wilson.

* * *

><p>House had settled himself onto the couch with Gwen sitting contently on his good leg an hour later. Gwen was babbling away in a language all her own with only the occasional 'momma' 'duck' and 'no' thrown in that he would actually understand. He was watching as she tried to figure out how to get the clown to come out of the jack in the box. He could have done it for her, but he wanted to see her figure it out for herself. After a bit of a struggle she mimicked the action of turning the crank that she had seen her mother do numerous times. When it played the first bit of the song from one turn she giggled happily and continued to turn it until the clown popped out at her. This in turn elicited a happy squeal and caused her to drop the toy down on the couch and clap happily for herself. House chuckled and clapped as well, "That might be one of the most annoying toys in the world, but good job squirt. You got it to pop all by yourself." It was such a simple act for a grown up, but he knew that she had had to fight to figure it out. It was impressive. She was a smart kid. She had also been trying to get up and walk. Eleven months was young for that. She was a fast learner and developer. Of course she was. Between his and Cuddy's genes that kid had the potential to be even smarter than him.<p>

Gwen reached up to play with his scruff, something she was very keen on doing since he had started all of his visits, "Ba." She said randomly. He didn't know if she was making noise for the sake of making noise or if she was trying to assign him a name. On the off chance that she was trying to assign him a name he pointed to himself, "Daddy." The moment it left his mouth he was shocked. Did he want her to call him daddy? He certainly didn't want some other asshole being called daddy if what Wilson had said was right. So if someone else couldn't be it he needed to teach her that she already had a daddy. So again he repeated, "Daddy." She simply giggled and started to slide to the floor to grab another toy. He rolled his eyes and helped her down, "This isn't over kid. You will learn."

Cuddy, who had been watching from the doorway finally spoke up, "She will pick up on it quickly, but not after two tries alone. Give her time."

House looked up and nodded, "I know. It was a start though I guess."

Cuddy moved from the door frame to sit on a chair, "Can I ask you something?"

"I guess, but I reserve the right not to answer."

She nodded and folded her hands on her lap, "Fair enough. How are you with the pain?"

He was a little surprised by the question, "It hurts. Everyday. But I manage it with Vicodin."

She frowned, "Are you on a pain management program? You are going to trash your liver."

"Surprisingly enough I am a doctor too. I don't need pain management programs. I have pain. Vicodin manages it. That is enough."

"You are in fact a doctor, but you seem to be forgetting that in the long term Vicodin is addictive and harmful."

House shook his head, "Drop it Cuddy. You don't know my pain."

She sighed a little, "Fine. I'll drop it." For now, she added internally.

"So why are you letting me out of the charity thing?"

She shrugged and picked up Gwen when the girl patted her knee, "You just started. I already told you."

"That's the only reason?"

"What else is there?" She questioned as she batted Gwen's hand away from her earring.

"I dunno." But he was bound to find out. It was in that moment that he decided that he would in fact be attending the charity ball. He pried himself off the couch and walked over to the chair that Cuddy and Gwen were on. He patted her head lightly, "Until tomorrow squirt."

Cuddy smiled and waved up at House while looking at Gwen, "Say bye bye to Daddy."

Gwen gave him a big grin and mimicked her mother's wave, "Buh!" was as close as she got.

House chuckled, "You are getting there." He gave her a final pat before leaving.


	9. Some Kind of Party

**A.N.: Went to Walmart. Got three blue rays for ten dollars each. I FEEL LIKE SUCH A WINNER!**

**Borrowed these characters from Shore. He won't notice. He is barely doing anything with them anyway. A few borrowed lines from the show as well. You will know when you see.**

* * *

><p>Lisa was blissfully unaware of House's curiosity about her hiding something from him in regards to the charity function. She had too many final details to go over for the event to even notice. It wasn't that she didn't want him there really... Actually yes it was. Between her parents being in attendance and Derrek going as her date, she was much happier with the idea of leaving House out of the equation. She still hadn't told Derrek about his sudden appearance, nor had she figured out if she would go right out and tell him the truth or continue on with her lie. The same went for her parents. It was all too complicated. She hated that she created this little mess for herself. She should have given more thought to what would happen should House ever waltz back into her life. She should have known he would eventually. Even before Gwen she had felt this invisible tether to the man. He was bound to come back to her eventually. Well, not to her, but around her or... UGH! Everything involving Gregory House was complicated. Even thought processes.<p>

When Friday came around she found herself rushing to finish getting ready. Gwen had decided that her baby food was better suited in Lisa's hair than inside her mouth. This meant that Lisa had to have another shower. Seven was fast approaching and soon Derrek would be there to pick her up. She was currently putting the finishing touches on her make up while Gwen watched from her seat on the floor staring up in fascination at her mother. Lisa glanced down and smiled at her, "This is all your fault you know. I would be done by now had you had the courtesy of keeping your food to yourself." Gwen merely giggled and squealed a loud, "MOMMA!" at her. Lisa chuckled and rolled her eyes.

Derrek knocked on her door at seven o'clock, ever the punctual gentleman. Marina answered the door with Gwen in tote having picked her up out of Lisa's room to let her finish getting ready in peace, "Mr. Jackson, come in." She moved aside to let him through, "Dr. Cuddy will be out shortly." As she closed the door Marina took a moment to admire the man. He was classically good looking in his simple black tux. The dark look did wonders for his green eyes making them show even more. He was quite a catch.

Derrek reached out and took Gwen from Marina carefully, "Hello there princess! Have you been a good girl today?" Gwen smiled and hugged onto his neck happily completely oblivious to his question, but happy to be given the attention non the less.

"If you count splattering me with carrots then sure, she was an angel." Lisa was smiling as she walked over to Derrek, "You look handsome." She told him while appraising him with an observant eye.

Derrek leaned to her and kissed her cheek gently, "I would compliment you, but for now all I can say is that your hair looks lovely." He tugged gently on the long black coat she had already put on that her long hair was spilling down the back of.

She chuckled and slapped his hand away, "We need to go. You will see my outfit when we get there, after all. You can wait." She took Gwen from his arms and gave her a kiss, "Mommy will be back soon, baby. Be good for Marina."

When handed back to Marina, Gwen immediately started to whimper. She was no stranger to this. Her mother was going somewhere and she wouldn't get to go.

Guilt shot through Lisa in an instant, but Derrek took hold of her arm before she could do anything, "We will see you later, Gwen. Goodbye Marina. We will be back soon."

Lisa let him guide her out and she sighed heavily once they were in the car, "I hate that."

Derrek offered her a soft smile, "I know. It is the same every time, but she is going to be fine."

She smiled back, "I know I know." She let herself relax and enjoy the ride to the hospital.

* * *

><p>"I still don't understand why you wanted to come." Wilson commented as he leaned back against the bar standing beside his best friend, "Cuddy let you off for this one."<p>

"I am appalled, Wilson. Can't a person just want to be charitable?"

"Someone else maybe. You, no." He took a sip of his drink then continued on, "Well at least I will have someone to talk to. Julie's mom isn't doing well. She didn't want her to be alone."

House nodded, "Real shame." He was barely listening. He was much too busy scanning the crowd for his new boss. He knew she would show in time. She better anyway. He rented a tux and took out his good cane for this.

Wilson sighed, "You aren't listening to me are you?"

"If I said yes would you shut up?" Just as he said it his eyes locked on the woman he had been looking for. He suppressed the urge to let his jaw drop. She was clad in a tight fitting royal blue evening dress with a plunging neckline that tied behind her neck and fell all the way down to the floor. If he was to bet it was probably backless. As if on cue she turned to talk to someone and his suspicions were confirmed. Backless. He was positive that it should be a sin to dress that way and look the way she did. Her hair fell freely down her back and he had he strangest urge to go over and run his hands through it. Actually it probably wasn't strange at all. He was pretty sure that every straight man in the room was imagining touching that hair while taking off that dress that was leaving just enough to the imagination. Lucky for him though, he could vividly remember what it looked like under that dress, but he would not be opposed to a refresher course.

The next moment though he was sure that he was not alone in the knowledge of what Cuddy looked like without that dress. A dark headed man turned up at her side and placed his hand on the small of her back. House bristled at the image. Who the hell was this idiot to run around touching Cuddy? He nudged Wilson and motioned to the pair, "Who is the James Bond wanna be?"

Wilson looked to the indicated area and assumed he was talking about Cuddy and her date, "That's Derrek. Cuddy's boyfriend."

House rolled his eyes, "You know him. So when you were talking about Cuddy getting married and Gwen getting a step dad you knew. Couldn't you have just said something instead of dancing around the issue?"

Wilson shrugged, "You would have figured it out eventually."

"So he must be why she didn't want me here." House let Wilson off the hook to focus on the issue at hand.

"Maybe or it may be because her parents are here." Wilson gestured to the Cuddys. House had only met them once, but it was enough to figure out that Arlene was a bitch and Cuddy was a daddy's girl.

House smirked happily, "Oh boy. Tonight is going to be fun."

Wilson took hold of his arm, "House, don't do anything idiotic. Tonight is important to Cuddy. She put a lot of work into it."

House gave him a hurt look, "Wilson, I just want to have a good time. I am highly offended that you would think I was out to mess things up for my Cuddle Muffin."

Wilson shook his head, "See this is why I am worried. She is not your anything, House. Except your boss. You just got your job. Watch yourself."

House waved that off, "Cuddy's sense of guilt will never let her fire me. Don't worry so much."

"You do not have the right to be jealous, House. You don't want her. She is happy with Derrek."

"How do you know what I want?" House challenged.

"You.. Whu... Do you want her?" Wilson stammered.

House shrugged, "No, but she needs better taste. That guy looks like a douche bag. I am going to help her realize that. Come on, Wilson. It looks like everyone is sitting down for dinner."

Wilson watched him walk towards the table for a second, "Oh no you don't want her at all. You just want to drive away a guy you don't even know." It was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>Lisa was sitting next to Derrek across from her parents. They were all chatting amiably when suddenly there was a loud bang of wood hitting wood. House had slammed his cane down on the table and was smiling widely at them all, "Hi there everybody! I'm Greg!" He was using his faux happy voice, and it was more than a little disturbing to Lisa.<p>

She tugged at the sleeve of his tux, "I thought I told you you didn't have to come."

"Oh but I wanted to Dr. Cuddy. You know how much I love charity."

Arlene snorted, "You may usually dress like you need some charity, but I highly doubt you love to GIVE to charity."

House smiled at her, "Such a pleasure to see you again, Arlene. Make any small children cry today?"

Arlene smirked, "Not yet, but the night is young."

Douglas chuckled and shook his head, "Always a pleasure, Dr. House."

Derrek was looking a little stunned at all of them, "Does he work here?"

This caught House's attention, "So sorry. Yes, I just got a job with the sexy Dean of Medicine here. You are looking at the new Head of Diagnostics, Greg House." He extended his hand with a sarcastic smile for Derrek to shake it.

Derrek obliged by shaking his hand, but he looked at Lisa, "You hired a man who talks to you and your mother that way."

"He is very good at what he does." She insisted.

House nodded and drew his hand back, "She means I am good in bed... and I am a good doctor."

A blush rose in Lisa's cheeks and she glared at House, "Will you cut it out with the jokes?"

House shrugged, "I am just trying to figure out why you haven't told him about me yet."

Wilson finally made his appearance and sat down next to House, "How is everyone tonight." He was trying to draw the attention to him, positive from the look Cuddy had on her face that House was being a complete ass.

Derrek, however, would not be distracted, "We don't talk about the business at the hospital much."

"Yes, House. I like to keep my work and home life separate." Her eyes were begging him to drop it, but he was not having any of it.

"That is going to be a little hard to do since I am Gwen's father don't you think?"

Arlene choked on her water and Douglas and Derrek just stared at Cuddy in shock. Finally Douglas found his voice, "Is that true?"

Cuddy fought back tears and nodded, biting down hard on her bottom lip, "It was one night and then he was gone and..." Her voice was small and she had. never felt more ashamed in her life.

House had never thought he would see Lisa Cuddy reduced to looking so small. He cleared his throat and leaned in to whisper to her, "I was just going to go with the IVF story, but the truth works too."

She pushed away from the table and stood up, "I need some air." She tore away from them and made her way out of the room.

Derrek moved to go after her, but Douglas stopped him, "Let me talk to her. Dinner is being served. Eat. I will be back with her."

* * *

><p>Outside, Douglas moved to stand next to his daughter, "You know.. You could have told us. Saved that hold scene."<p>

In the privacy of the night she had allowed herself to cry silently. She looked to her dad and took a deep breath, "I know. I just didn't know how."

"Things happen. We all know that. Gwen wasn't a mistake. She was just the product of an accident. You could have told us... or at least me."

Lisa smiled, "I know daddy. I'm sorry. I should have at least told you."

"Do you love him?" Douglas asked curiously.

Lisa scrunched up her brow in confusion, "Derrek?"

He shook his head, "Greg"

Lisa scoffed, "No! He is a friend a best and a pain in my ass at worst."

Douglas smiled, "Are you sure that is it?"

She rolled her eyes, "I used to have a little crush, but that was so long ago."

He put his arm around her shoulders, "Some things never change."

Lisa sighed a little, "Dad, its not like that. I'm with Derrek. What we have is good. House just wants to be there for Gwen."

"Sure that was why he was marking his territory against Derrek."

"I honestly don't know what his problem was." She said with a shake of her head.

"His problem was that he saw you with another man."

"He doesn't want me, Dad."

"He may not realize that he does, but he no man gets that jealous over a woman he feels nothing for."

She chuckled a little and leaned her head against his shoulder, "I will take your word on that."

He gave her shoulder a squeeze and started to guide her back inside, "Come on. This is your event. You need to be in there."

She wiped at her face and fixed her hair quickly, "I know. Thank God for water proof mascara."

Douglas nodded, "There you go honey. Focus on small blessings."

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><p>When they got back to the table Arlene looked at her daughter curiously, "I am supposing you at least explain to <em>him<em> why you couldn't have just told us Greg House knocked you up?"

Lisa heaved a sigh, "Yes mother."

Douglas put a hand on his wife's shoulder, "We will discuss it later."

Derrek took Lisa's hand, "Are you ok?"

Lisa smiled fondly at him, "Yes. I'm fine."

House picked up her other hand and took up a mocking copy of Derrek's concerned face, "Are you going to eat your roll?"

Lisa sighed, "No. Please be my guest." She tore her hand away and handed him the roll.

He smiled mischievously, "Much obliged."

On his side Wilson sighed and shook his head, "I should have known not to let you come."

House rolled his eyes, "Oh please. I am the life of the party."

For the rest of dinner they ate in relative peace aside from Arlene and House's smart ass remarks mixed in here and there.

After the plates were taken away they began to play music. Derrek stood up and ushered Lisa away with him to the dance floor.

House watched the scene with a scowl. He was not at all pleased with this man's need to have his hands all over Cuddy as they danced.

Douglas regarded House with an amused smile, "She doesn't love him, you know."

House turned to stare at Douglas, "Oh I don't know. I think if anyone is going to make it it is going to be those two crazy kids." He said sarcastically.

Douglas shook his head, "She will eventually convince herself she loves him, but she loves how he is with Gwen."

House tensed and glared across at Douglas, "He spends time with Gwen?"

"They have been dating for five months. Of course he does."

House glanced back at the dancing couple. First Derrek was pawing at his woman, now he finds out that he has been around his kid too. This had to be stopped.

Ignoring the fact that he had mentally referred to Cuddy as his woman he stood up and made his way to the dance floor. He tapped Derrek on the shoulder, "Can I cut in?"

The gentleman in Derrek struggled against his natural hatred of the man. He looked down on Cuddy, "Are you ok with that?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Just let him do it or he will never leave us alone."

Derrek nodded and let her go. House immediately took up the place Derrek left behind letting his hands rest on her hips while hers slid up behind his neck, "He is an idiot you know. While you were gone he asked me what exactly diagnostics was."

Cuddy chuckled a little, "You just don't like him."

House shrugged, "He had his paws all over you all night. He is up to no good."

"If by no good you mean that he has every intention of getting under my dress tonight I am sure you are right."

House glared down on her, "He is going home with you?"

She sighed, "House, he is my boyfriend. We have been together for five months. I like sex. Do the math."

"Gwen is at home." He ignored what she said and pressed on.

"She won't be in the room, I promise."

He rolled his eyes, "Cuddy, come on. You shouldn't have sex in the house with her there."

She narrowed her eyes, "Where the hell am I supposed to go? What if I marry Derrek? Are you not going to want me to have sex then either?"

"You won't marry him." He stated easily.

She scoffed, "And how the hell do you know?"

"Because you are settling with him. You deserve more."

"Like what?" She pressed.

House shrugged, "Someone better."

"Someone like you?"

He sighed, "Someone you like."

She shook her head, "There will never be someone you approve of. You come out of nowhere insisting on a job and wanting to be around Gwen. That is all fine, but you don't get to force yourself into every aspect of my life. You don't want me. You just don't want anyone else to have me. It doesn't work like that. You don't own me. Now if you thought that Derrek was a bad influence on Gwen or something along those lines, then we could discuss it, but your only complaint is that he touches me. He is my boyfriend. He can do that."

House tried to sort out all of his thoughts, but he was having trouble. The rational side of him said she was right, but he didn't want to admit to that. He did have claim over her damn it! She had his child for fucks sake.

She was looking in his eyes and felt like she could actually see the wheels turning behind them, "House. I'm not wrong."

"You are." He insisted.

She shrugged a little, "How?"

"If you were happy with him and wanted him you wouldn't have stayed in my arms staring into my eyes when the song has been over for at least a full minute."

She stopped her gentle swaying with him and her back tensed. The song had changed to something fast and more than one set of eyes were locked on the pair. Shit. She cleared her throat and broke away from him.

He smiled smugly at her, "See?"

"So what?" She practically hissed at him. She was more pissed at herself than anything, "We had two nights together. After both you just up and disappeared. You gave me Gwen, and for that I will forever be grateful but whatever pull that is here" she motioned between them, "It obviously isn't enough to make anything out of. So just let me go back to my boyfriend and just leave me be." With that she walked quickly away from him.

House let her go. He had a lot more thinking to do before he pushed her any further. She had a lot of things wrong. There were things that she had to know, but that could all wait until he at least figured out how he felt. They had a long way to go.


	10. Baby Steps

**A.N.: I came home to complete randomness. I sit down on my bed and hear change. After a search of my bed I find a pile of change at the end of it. Someone came into my room, collected change from off my floor, and proceeded to leave it in a pile for me to find. I am not sure if I should be weirded out or thankful to my change fairy. For now I will be thankful. Should it happen again I will get freaked.**

**To those of you hating Derrek, I understand. He is by no means House. I don't like him either xD**

**Keep those follows and reviews coming!**

**I DO NOT OWN THE HOUSE CREW!**

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><p>The days after the charity event went rather smoothly. For this Lisa was grateful. Either what she had said to House got him to back down, or he was merely plotting and biding his time. She was pretty sure it was the latter, but she was hoping for the former. He had made time for Gwen over the weekend, and it was obvious that she was starting to get used to his presence. If he kept up his visits, Lisa would have to give serious consideration to letting him see her on his own. She didn't want to admit that she was scared to let him take her, but she was. He wouldn't intentionally hurt her, but if he accidentally did she knew she would never forgive him. He seemed stable enough, but his use of Vicodin was a big concern for her. He was walking a dangerous line with the use of such an addictive narcotic, but she also knew that eventually push the issue and expect her trust. She hoped that by then she would be ready to give it. Until then he seemed content with the visits. He had been helping Gwen with her attempts to walk as well as working on getting her to say daddy. She had managed "Da" but Lisa was beginning to think that Gwen thought he was playing a game with her. He would say daddy. She would say 'da' then break out into a fit of giggles when he would sigh in exasperation. House was no a patient man. He would have to learn patience in dealing with their daughter.<p>

When Monday rolled around House had officially moved into his office. It was amazing how lazy the man could be. He didn't have a case yet, but he was supposed to be scheduling interviews for his fellows. When Lisa checked up on him at eleven he was leaned back in his chair napping. It was utterly exasperating. After waking him up they had proceeded to have a fight in which he mocked her and made snide comments about her clothing until he finally agreed to schedule interviews if he could avoid his scheduled clinic duty that day. She agreed, but only if he made it up the next day. He had accepted he deal with a smug grin that told her that he had absolutely no plan to make up the clinic duty. She decided to just leave it as a fight for another day. Only one official day of work and he was already driving her insane. This did not bode well for their professional future together. She was fairly sure that there would be many more days to come like this if not worse. She was so in over her head.

She ended her day at exactly five o'clock. She had promised Derrek a quiet dinner at her place. It had taken a lot of explaining on her part to get him to even begin to understand her situation with House. She had had to relay to him the fact that she and House had had a one night stand that led to Gwen's conception, but his departure right after led her to the life about IVF. She had told him she thought it would be easier. He listened attentively, and by the end of her rambled explination he had promised that he forgave her. That was what she liked about Derrek. He was laid back and kind. He was confident in their relationship and comfortable with her. He was interested in what she had to say. He paid attention to her wants and her needs. Being around Derrek was and intense contrast to being around House. With House she always felt the need to be on her guard. They were constantly going back and forth verbally. Just being in the same room with House was complicated and completely... charged. Charged with their struggle for power between each other and with sexual. She blamed the sexual tension on the fact that they both knew exactly what it was like to have sex with each other. It was good. Hell, it was great, but it was impossible to allow to happen again. She was with Derrek, and another one night stand with House, even if she was single, would be moronic on so many levels. Derrek was a good lover. He was gentle and kind. Often times too gentle, but that was hardly something that Lisa felt she should complain about. Most women would kill to have a man handle them the way Derrek did. They worked well in bed. That was more than enough. If she judged every sexual partner against her times with Greg House she would never want to be with another man. It just wasn't fair.

Once at home she immediately started cooking. The lasagna was going to take at least two hours to cook, and Derrek had told her that he would get there around six thirty. It obviously would not be ready, but she was sure he would be content to entertain Gwen while she finished up. Gwen, however, was not a fan of her mother's carefully laid plans. She was standing in her play pen, that had been moved into the kitchen so she could be watched, calling out for attention, "MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA!" She took her bear from off the floor of the play pen and tossed it towards her mother. She was so obviously bored and so obviously Greg House's child.

Lisa sighed and picked up the toy. She walked over to the play pen and dropped it down, "Gwen, come on. Play with your blocks." She picked one up and handed to the girl.

Gwen threw the block away completely unimpressed by her mother's attempt. She stretched her arms up and wiggled her fingers, "Up! Up!" She insisted.

"Jesus, Cuddy. Pick up the kid. Begging is pathetic and unfit for a House child." House was leaning against the door frame watching the scene in complete amusment at Cuddy's frustrations.

Lisa jumped a little and turned on him, "Do you know how to knock?"

"Sure I do, but I didn't. Your door was unlocked. I let myself in." He moved over to the females and picked Gwen up much to her delight.

Lisa huffed and put her hands on her hips, "I told you to call before you come over."

He rolled his eyes, "I just wanted to see my kid, Cuddy. What is your deal?"

"I have plans." She stated simply.

"With Deeerrreeekkk" He drew out the name mockingly and made kissing noises. Gwen took this as a signal and leaned in to place a practiced kiss on his cheek.

Lisa visibly relaxed and was now sporting a broad grin at the sight of her daughter's affections towards her father.

House was shocked, but once that wore off he had to smile, "I just can't keep the women off of me."

She chuckled a little, "Yeah I am sure you are just swarmed every single day."

"You have no idea." He pretended to flip his hair back over his shoulder.

She shook her head, "Seriously, House. Derrek is coming over. Beat it."

Gwen, completely unhappy with the lack of attention she was receiving even if she had been picked up, proceeded to tug on House's ear, "DA!" She loudly stated the syllable that he had seemed so keen on making her say usually.

This caused House to grin smugly, "My daughter is begging for my attention. Can you really kick me out? Especially when your water is boiling over?" He gestured to he stove to prove his point.

"Shit the noodles!" She jumped into action to save her supper, "Fine, House. Stay, but you had better behave when Derrek gets here."

"Of course, mother." He rolled his eyes and turned his attention on Gwen, "Come on, squirt. Lets go see what kind riots we can start in the living room.

Lisa sighed, but let them go. She had a dinner to finish. She would deal with House later.

Derrek showed up exactly when he said he would. She found it strange that he didn't question the presence of House's car until she looked outside and saw that it wasn't there. He must have taken a cab. He had probably planned to surprise Derrek with his presence. How he knew that she had plans with Derrek tonight was beyond her, but she was now more than a little concerned.

Derrek moved into the kitchen with her chatting about his day and asking about hers. When she was done bending down to check on the lasagna in the oven he moved up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "Where's Gwen?" He asked curiously before placing kisses on her neck.

"Right here." House grumbled from the door with Gwen in his arms.

Derrek broke away from her and cleared his throat, "Dr. House... I wasn't aware you would be joining us."

"I'm just here to see Gwen."

In his arms Gwen started to wiggle and hold her arms out to Derrek excited to welcome her friend into the mix for the night.

House glared a little at her, "Traitor." He set her down on the floor, "Besides, we didn't come in here for him. We came to show your mom our new trick." He moved a few feet in front of her then sat down on the floor with a wince, "Ok, squirt. Show momma how your hard work has paid off." He held his arms open and gestured for her to come to him, "Come on Gwen."

Lisa stepped forward in anticipation and watched as her baby girl got up and on unsteady legs toddled to her father. When she made it all the way Lisa squealed and rushed to Gwen. She scooped her up and cuddled her, "I am SO proud of you baby girl!" Gwen giggled and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck happy that her actions had brought on such a show of attention.

House pried himself up off the floor and stood next to Lisa with a proud smile on his face. He held out his hand to Gwen and got a tiny high five from her, "That's my little genius there. My genes helped this to happen. I'm just saying."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "She did this because she is a persistant little girl." But even House's annoying comments couldn't erase the smile from her face.

From his awkward place in the background Derrek moved forward wih a proud smile of his own, "You are such a big girl, princess!" He held out his arms and Gwen went to him willingly. He hugged the tiny girl and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

House glared and fought off the urge to wrestle his daughter free from he idiot's grasp not at all pleased with him being involved in the moment let alone kissing her cheek or calling her by a pet name, "Hey, you are intruding on a family moment here. Go back to your corner."

"House!" Lisa chastised, but she would be lying if she didn't think it was odd to have Derrek step in the way he had. Her mind told her that he had every right after all their months together, but her heart old her he would always not truly belong in situations such as these.

"It's alright Lisa. He is just jealous. It is only natural after all he has missed out on. After all I got to see her when she first crawled and when she first stood on her own. It must be awful to be him."

Lisa had never heard Derrek be so cruel in any way to anyone and she wasn't sure if she liked that, "Derrek, that was out of line."

"Oh no don't worry _Lisa_." House basically spat, "It has to be hard to know that even though he is with you he will never satisfy you the way I did, and even if he marries you he will never be Gwen's true father."

"I was more of a father to her these last few months than you will ever be!" Derrek snapped.

Gwen was no more used to Derrek's harsh tone than her mother was and she patted her little hand against his cheek curiously. He sighed and rubbed her back, "Sorry." He muttered.

Lisa stepped in between the two men, "I think I have heard enough. You are both being cruel, and it is pissing me off. Gwen doesn't need to idiots fighting about being in her life. She is capable of loving both of you." She shook her head, "I can't believe you both went and ruined what should have been an amazing moment. Her first steps are a huge thing." She reached out and took Gwen from Derrek, "You both need to go."

Derrek stepped forward first, "I'm so sorry Lisa." He sighed and shook his head, "You're right. I will go, but call me later ok?" She nodded and he gave her a quick kiss before retreating from the room with his tail between his legs.

House rolled his eyes, "Cuddy, what the hell are you doing with that loser? Really? You say one thing and he backs off like a puppy you verbally kicked? How fucking lame." He moved right in front of her and invaded her personal space, "Aren't you bored? He sure as hell doesn't challange you like I do."

She sighed and back up a little, "Why would I want that in my love life? I get that enough just being your boss and friend."

"You are going to lead this idiot on, and one day he is going to propose. It is better to break his heart now. I am thinking about him and his feelings here." He said with fake sincerity.

She shook her head, "The day you think about someone else is the day I get you a CT scan to check for brain damage. You just don't want him around Gwen."

"He ruined our family moment Cuddy. That didn't bother you?"

"We aren't a family House."

House sighed, "We might not be traditional, but this" he gestured between him, Cuddy, and Gwen, "This is a type of family. Ours. Deal with it."

She couldn't fight off the small smile at that, "I guess we are in a way, but Derrek is going to be a part of this, House. You need a find a way to deal with _that_."

He snorted, "Yeah I will get right on that."

"I'm serious."

"I will do my best." He held up four fingers, "Scouts honor."

She laughed a little, "That is not the salute."

"I got kicked out of the Scouts. My bad."

"You are an idiot."

"Ah but you love it." He reached out and patted Gwen on the head, "I better get going kid. I had to settle mommy down, but I think she is good now."

Gwen was too busy playing with Cuddy's hair to be bothered. House shook his head, "Stubborn just like mommy. I see how it is." He huffed theatrically and made his exit leaving behind a highly amused Cuddy alone to eat her lasagna and coo over her daughter's recent acheivment despite the male dramatics.


	11. In Mourning

**A.N.: Hyped up on Dr. Pepper. NO SLEEPING FOR ME TONIGHT!**

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE FOLLOWS AND REVIEWS! They make my heart go all warm and fuzzy.**

**I would like to remind everyone that this is in fact an AU fic. I am well aware that the team was hired all at different times, but I don't feel like spacing all that out. In my fic they will have been hired between August and the beginning of November. Just go with me on this, kay?**

**I own Gwen and few other randoms, but all your familiar faces belong to Shore and Co.**

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><p>"Come on!" House whined. It had been over three months since he knew about Gwen, and he was getting tired of not being able to have her on his own. He was definitely tired of having to share his time with Cuddy's douche bag boyfriend, "I hired a team. I do my clinic duty... most of the time. What more do you want from me woman?"<p>

Lisa rolled her eyes and straightened out a few of the papers on her desk, "Your performance at work has nothing to do with Gwen, and if it did I would never let you step foot outside the door with our daughter."

He scoffed and moved closer to the desk, "Why the hell not? I save lives left and right."

"You also have your fellows break in to patient homes, you steal ORs, and you cut in line for MRIs. Correct me if I am wrong, but you are not only breaking hospital rules, you are also breaking a few laws." She rested her elbow up on the desk and put her chin on her hand waiting for an explanation that she knew would come, but that it would not be good enough for her.

He looked up at the ceiling and pleaded his case, "You know good and well if I played by the rules and laws my patients would be dead now."

"You don't know that, but that is not the point here. The point is that I am not sure I am ready to let you take Gwen." She knew she was being over protective, but House was reckless by nature. He had always been careful with Gwen so far, but it was her luck that the one time she let up he would take her and she would come back with a broken arm or something of the sort.

"Give me one good reason why. She knows me. I am officially daddy now. I have changed diapers. I have fed her. I have seen her almost every day since I found out about her. This shit is getting old, Cuddy." He narrowed his eyes at her to emphasize his seriousness.

She watched him carefully and wracked her brain for a reason to give him, but she couldn't come up with one. He was right. Gwen had grown to adore him, and he had tended to her well, even if he had complained the whole time he changed her diapers. He had earned time alone with her.

She sighed and rubbed her fingers against her forhead, "Fine. You can spend some time alone with her, but I swear to God House if you do anything inappropriate or harmful with our daughter around I will hang you from your own balcony."

He shook his head, "I would never hurt Gwen. You should know that." His tone was even and masking how much it actually did hurt to hear her threaten him about Gwen. She should know better, "I will pick her up after I am done here at five. I will have her home by eight fed and ready for you to bathe her. Deal?"

She bit her bottom lip then nodded, "Deal. I am sure she will have a good time."

"You can bet your fine ass she will." With that he took his leave from her office and went about the business of hiding in the morgue until his day was over.

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><p>Greg House had never thought he would have kids. He didn't see it as a necessity. There were plenty of people running around popping out kids, so there was no real need for him to add on to the population. He was, in general, an extremely selfish person. He liked to have things just the way he wanted them. It was really 'my way or the highway' state of mind, but when he had locked eyes with Gwen that day in Cuddy's office he knew he could not turn away. He had known since he was twelve that his 'dad' was not in fact his dad. This meant that out there he had a biological father who had never stepped up. He had a fairly good idea of who the man was, and in a way he resented him. John House had been hard to grow up with to say the least. His punishments were borderline abusive. Scratch that. They <em>were<em> abusive. He was not warm and cuddly. He was cold and for the most part uncaring. His mother swore to him that his father loved him, but he didn't buy it. What he had experienced was not love. At best it was indifference. At worst it felt like hate. He could not comprehend how the man that he had deduced was probably his father could have sat back and never stepped up. House was fairly sure that the man knew, or at least suspected. He was a family friend for fucks sake. The moment he saw Gwen's eyes he knew for a fact that she was his, and from that point on he knew he would not be able to turn away. He would be better than both of his fathers.

He felt absolutely possesive of his family. He had never been one for sharing. Gwen was his. The only reason he had waited so long to force Cuddy into giving him alone time with Gwen was to make sure that both he and she were completely comfortable together. Now that they were, he expected to have her by himself frequently, but he didn't just want to be alone with Gwen all the time. He wanted to be alone with Cuddy and Gwen. Their time together was important. Even if they weren't traditional, he had meant it when he told Cuddy they were a family. They did not need Derrek sniffing around them as if they were looking for some sort of replacement father or something. The role of father in the family was filled. He needed to back the fuck off. Cuddy's defense was always that the 'husband' and 'step father' roles were still available. He just didn't agree. He didn't see why there even need to be a step father role, and he would gladly step into the sexual part of the husband role if she would just let him. For some reason she was opposed to having sex again. He refused to blame it on the fact that he had said Stacy's name last time. It wouldn't be an issue this time. He had damned Stacy to the seven circle of hell when it came to him, so there was nothing to worry about there. Cuddy said she wanted love. He couldn't do that for her. Love was no a game he was willing to play anymore. He had loved Stacy. He didn't love Cuddy. He just didn't want her with anyone else. He just wanted to be around her. He just wanted to touch her. That wasn't love. It was just... something else. Something not love. Yeah that was good enough of an explanation.

After picking up Gwen from the nanny, House was having a few issues deciding what to do with her. They could always go back to his place and watch cartoons and play with her toys just like they did at Cuddy's, but he wanted to do something a little bit more for their first daddy and Gwen outting. After much debate he settled on going to he park. Kids liked the park right?

He limped up to the baby swingset and set his cane against the railing, "Ok, squirt. Swinging is fun. We can do this." He held her over the swing angling her to get her legs in the holes. Gwen, however, thought this was a game. She kicked her legs and made the swing move in the process, "Kid, cut it out." He told her with a roll of his eyes, "Legs go _in_ the holes, not kicking around them."

A tall blond woman caught sight of the man struggling with his little girl and had to laugh a little. They were absolutely adorable. Well.. The baby was adorable. The man was just hot. She decided to take pity on him and walked over, "Here, let me help you." She took hold of Gwen's little legs and carefully helped him guide them through the holes.

His first instict was to be suspicious of the random blond coming over and touching his daughter, stranger danger and all that nonsense, but that quickly subsided when he took a look at her rack. Not quite as big as Cuddy's but still sizable. No one with that nice of a rack could mean any harm to his little girl, so he plastered on a smile, "Thanks for that." He stuck out his hand, "Greg House, and this here is Gwen." The tike was obviously a complete chick magnet. He could get used to this.

"I'm Sarah Roy. Nice to meet you both." She said, flashing a bright smile to both him and Gwen before stepping side so that House could push Gwen on the swing, "How old is she?"

House pushed Gwen gently and smiled when he heard her begin to giggle, "She turned one in September." He continued to pushed with one hand and took out his phone with the other to show her a picture of Gwen with cake and icing all over her face, "I'm not even sure if she managed to eat any of it."

Sarah laughed, "That is so cute. My niece did about the same on her birthday."

"No children of your own?"

Sarah shook her head, "Not yet."

House nodded, "I see."

Sarah shoved her hands in her pockets and looked around, "So where is Mrs. House?"

"My mother? I think she is in Europe right now with my dad."

Sarah rolled her eyes and chuckled, "I am guessing that is your way of saying you aren't married."

House smirked and nodded to confirm the fact, "Yes that is exactly what I am saying."

"Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy." Gwen, who had been calmly trying to get her father's attention was no longer calm. She liked the swing, but she would have preferred her father's undivided attention.

"Sounds like someone wants daddy to pay attention to her." She reached into her purse and dug out a piece of paper and a pen, "Look, this is my number. If you ever find some time for a coffee or something, give me a call ok." She handed over the number then waved at Gwen, "Byee." She said in a sing song voice before walking off.

House pocked the number with a smug grin then extracted Gwen from the swing, "Who would have thought that having a baby would up my game." He held his hand out to her, "High five." She slapped his hand with hers and giggled, "Atta girl!" He gave her a kiss on the cheek then grabbed up his cane, "Come on. Lets blow this popcycle stand. I bet we can catch Scooby Doo on boomerang to watch while we eat our supper before we head back to meet dictator mommy."

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><p>Lisa was shocked. Completely and totally shocked. Derrek down on one knee with a ring box open in his hand. They had just been having pizza and watching a re-run of Grey's Anatomy. Where the hell did this come from?<p>

She didn't know if she loved him. She didn't know if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She liked him in her life for right now. He was nice to have around, and she enjoyed his casual company, but a life long commitment was huge. She just didn't know what to do. In the back of her mind she thought about House. He was going to have a shit fit, but she quickly pushed any thoughts of him away. He didn't want her. He just didn't want her to be with anyone else. He was not a factor in this. Gwen was, and Gwen loved Derrek. At least one of the Cuddy women were sure about their affections towards the man. Too bad she was only one years old and not the one sitting in front of Derrek completely shocked and being faced with a life altering decision to make.

Derrek had let a few moments of silence pass before he finally had to speak up, "Lisa... You are making me a little nervous here."

She shook her head as if doing that would force her to be able to get all of her thoughts in place, "I just... I have no idea what to say here. What brought this on?"

He chuckled a little, "Lisa, I love you. I want to be with you and be with Gwen. We can be a family. Gwen needs a family."

She bristled a little at that, "Gwen has a family."

"A real family Lisa. A mommy and daddy living under one roof together, loving each other." He took her hand in his, "Don't you want that?"

"Just because what House and I have going on isn't traditional doesn't make it less real. She has a daddy, Derrek. How can you want to do with but at the same time not be able to accept the situation I have with House."

"I accept it Lisa, but I thought you would want more."

She sighed a little, "I do want marriage some day, but Derrek I haven't even ever told you that I love you."

He moved closer and she couldn't help letting her thoughts wander for a second to take in how stupid this must look. He was kneeling there in front of her silueted by the light of the tv basically trying to convince her to marry him, "You don't need to tell me, Lisa. I know you love me."

Lisa had to bite her tongue before she said something absolutely rude. He was telling her that she had feelings whether or not she was willing to admit it. How the fuck would he know? Could he read her mind? Could he read her heart? If she didn't know how she felt how could he?

"What the actual fuck is going on in here?" House was practically growling at the scene of Derrek down on his knee in front of Cuddy holding a ring. This asshole was proposing to HIS Cuddy. No no no, this shit was not happening.

Derrek took a deep breath and looked up at House, "You really need to learn to lock."

"And you really need to not be a pathetic idiot, but that probably won't ever happen either. I am bringing Gwen back. I can come in if I want. I am sure Cuddy appreciates me returning our daughter. She is in one piece and everything."

Lisa grabbed hold of this excuse like a life raft and pulled her hand out of Derrek's grasp so she could stand up and take Gwen from House, "Hey baby. Did you have a good time with daddy?"

House hovered around her, "Yeah yeah yeah we had a blast, now please tell me you told him no."

Derrek stood up and moved to Lisa's free side, "She didn't get the chance to answer me."

Lisa started to feel chlosterphobic, "Could you please both back off? I can barely breath."

Derrek placed a hand on her back and rubbed gently, "Are you sick?"

House rolled his eyes, "God damn you are stupid. She just wants us to back off of her and give her some space. She isn't sick." As if to prove his point he backed off a few paces and watched as Derrek did the same.

Derrek took the ring out of the box and held it out to her, "I don't need your decision now. I can wait."

Lisa stared at ther ring, "Derrek..." She looked from the ring then to Gwen and shook her head, "No. I don't need time. I might have taken it if you understood what I needed, what Gwen needed, but you don't. She could always use you in her life, but I am not trying to replace her father. Not anymore. She has one. You didn't even ask me if I loved you. You told me. I don't need you making up my mind for me. You are a really sweet guy, but I can't pretend we are more than we are. I'm sorry."

House bit back a laugh, but did not hide his victorious smile. He knew they would never last.

Derrek looked between the three of them and shook his head, "You deserve more than what you are settling for, but I'll be damned if I am going to stay where I am not appreciated." He drew his hand wih the ring back then shoved it in his pocket. The front door slammed behind him making Cuddy flinch a little. She may not have loved him, but having him leave left her feeling a lot more lonely than she thought she would have.

House moved to her side and slipped his arm around her waist, "You look a little sad there, Cuddles. If you need to have sex to make you feel better, I am here for you."

Lisa drew away from him, "Get out, House." She said quietly.

House raised a curious eyebrow, "Why are you lashing out at ME?"

She shook her head, "Just go. Don't make me yell. I don't want to upset Gwen."

He rolled his eyes, "You always get so cranky when it draws close to that time of the month. Fine. I will go. Geez, the way you are acting I would believe you actually loved that guy, but we both know you didn't. You don't need him, Cuddy. You have us." He gave Gwen a quick kiss on the top of her head then mercifully left Lisa in peace.

She went about the task of putting Gwen to bed calmly. It was not until she was alone in her bed that she let herself cry. She was not mourning the loss of Derrek specifically. She was mourning the loss she had at any chance of love. She could see into her future and it was not looking bright. House would always drive men away that would come close to her. She knew it. He was a possessive ass. He wanted her free for if he ever felt like picking her up when it would be convenient for him. He wasn't considering her feelings. She knew that given the chance, she could fall hard for Greg House. They just had that special something when they were together that she couldn't quite pin point. The only problem was that he would never love her. It would be too big of a risk. So because of this Lisa laid in her bed and mourned her chances for a happy love life. She would be forced to find contentment in their 'family' and hope that in time it would become enough.


	12. The Slow Burn

**A.N.: Happy that Derrek took a hike? Me too. Try not to hate me too much for what happens next.**

**Remember, my AU, my timeline. If things happen out of order from the way they would in the show, please just accept =D**

**I do not own.**

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><p><em>May 2002<em>

Lisa Cuddy and Greg House were about as dysfunctional as any two people could be. They were constantly at each other's throats both at work and with their daughter. Gwen for her part found her parent's bickering funny. She would giggle and watch as they exchanged verbal quips that she just didn't understand. There was nothing funnier than watching her daddy make faces at her mommy while mommy glared and fussed at him. To Gwen Cuddy this was all completely normal. She wouldn't know till much much later that other parents didn't use fighting as some sort of verbal foreplay.

As far as work went House was House. He came to her looking to perform crazy procedures. She would insist on proof. He would mock her. Eventually he would get his way. He would save a life before disappearing to hide from his clinic duty. Every last employee at that hospital wondered why Cuddy put up with his insane antics, but they all seemed to come to the same conclusion. They were having sex, and he was obviously well hung. Why else would she put up with it? They could not see what she saw. She saw his genius. She saw his carefully hidden compassion. She saw every single good thing about Greg House, and in her book it trumped all the bad. He did his job and he did it well even if he was a bit disturbing to the normal processes of he hospital. As long as he kept saving lives she could deal with putting out his fires.

Lisa marched herself up to the fourth floor and into House's office. She glanced at Allison Cameron who was talking to House, but frankly was standing much too close for it to ever be classified as professional, "Dr. Cameron can I have a moment alone with Dr. House?" Her voice was a little harsh for such a simple question, but damn it that girl's crush on House was annoying.

Cameron looked down on House waiting for confirmation that it was ok to leave him alone with their boss.

House for his part was smiling smugly, "Leave us, Cameron. The boss needs her afternoon delight. We can't get it on with an audience. She gets shy."

Cameron rolled her eyes and took her leave with a huff.

Lisa stepped forward with her hands on her hips, "Do you really need to be so vulgar?"

"Please, my team wouldn't recognize me if I wasn't vulgar." He sat up a little and gestured for her to spit out what she wanted to say, "Come on, I don't have all day."

She moved to sit in the chair across from his desk inwardly chastising herself for almost forgetting the reason she had come to see him, "The nanny called. Gwen is running a fever."

House stiffened, "Is she bringing her in?"

She shook her head, "No, I told her not to. It was low grade. To me it sounds like she is just cutting another tooth. She is supposed to call me if anything changes and to put the numbing gel on her gums. I could hear Gwen crying in the background. It was sad. At least she is almost done cutting teeth."

House nodded, "Yeah she is a right little horror when she is teething." He sighed a little, "Ok, let me know if anything changes." He watched as she stood up, "And by the way Cuddy, no need to get all jealous of little Allison Cameron. It is a harmless crush. I am not going to rob her cradle."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "You are so.."

She was cut off by a voice coming from the door, "Arrogant?"

Lisa turned on her heel to stare at Stacy Malone in absolute shock. She found herself moving to stand defensively between House and Stacy, "What are you doing here?" She knew it wasn't her place, but she found herself completely ready to defend House against the woman who tore his heart out and stomped on it.

Stacy smiled a little, "Nice to see you too, Lisa. Funny, I was expecting the cold reception to come from House, not you."

Lisa narrowed her eyes, "You..." She was cut off again, but this time it was from having House's hand pressed up against the small of her back.

"It's ok Cuddy. She obviously came here for a reason. Let her talk. Call me if our patient's health deteriorates any further." He looked down into her eyes with an almost pleading look for her to play along.

Lisa closed her eyes and tried to ignore the pang of pain that echoed throughout her. He wanted to hide Gwen from Stacy. Her heart was screaming against this whole situation. Stacy would take him back. They would never be together, but her head snuffed out her heart. After all, even without Stacy here they would have never been together. She opened her eyes and nodded, "Yeah. I will do that." She walked towards the door, "Good to see you Stacy." She forced herself to say before leaving.

* * *

><p>Stacy had an amused smile on her face as she walked towards House, "Your boss is pretty over protective."<p>

"My friend worries about bitches who aren't her who walk through my door to give me a hard time." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, "What do you want, Stacy?"

She shrugged a little, "I missed you."

He rolled his eyes, "It has been more than two years. Why do you suddenly miss me?"

"It isn't sudden." She insisted stepping even closer to him, "Every man I tried to be with. Every man that even laid a finger on me, they could never be you. I was wrong to leave. I should have fought it through with you."

He rolled his eyes, "It is a little late to be saying what you should have done."

She reached up and placed her hand against his cheek, "I know that, but I also need you to know that I will always be sorry for walking away from you. I should never have let you push me away. I shouldn't have given in. I should have been stronger, but I can be here for you now. I need you. Don't you miss me? Don't you miss us?"

He moved away from her touch, "No." He insisted.

She shook her head, "You are lying."

"Everybody lies. You lied when you said you would never leave."

"I was scared!" She put the hand he had moved his cheek from onto his arm, "You were in such a horrible place. You weren't taking care of yourself. You hated me. I couldn't sit there and watch as you killed yourself."

"I am not dead. Obviously I did not kill myself."

"And I have never been more glad to have been wrong." She stepped forward to invade his space, "I know you are hurt, but I also know that you know you pushed me away. It wasn't just me. We both fucked up."

He closed his eyes and forced himself not to step away. She still smelled the same. A mixture of coconut and something floral that would always be her. He had hated her. He did hate her, but damn it to hell if he didn't still want her. It was the foolish part of him that was so horribly human. The illusion of love and happiness invaded his mind. He remembered the things he could have had with her. The life he had wanted it, but in the middle of his reverie he saw Gwen and Cuddy. If he dared to venture down this road with Stacy, where would they fit in? Well they didn't really have to did they? Not at first. He could have it all, and he could work out the rest later. He finally found the words he wanted to say to Stacy, "I want to hate you."

"But you don't?" She pushed.

"Not anymore." If things hadn't happened the way they had he wouldn't have Gwen. He couldn't hate that. What he did hate was how wrong he had been when he thought he was over Stacy. Having her in his face this way changed everything.

She took a deep breath, "I am so glad to hear that." She whispered before leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

It was so familiar. It was like re reading a favorite book. Even though you knew what was coming next it didn't erase the pleasure of reading it. He knew exactly how she would tilt her head and how she would moan when he ran his tongue over her lower lip, but pleasure still coursed through his body with every passing moment. It wasn't like it had been with Cuddy. Their time together had been an absolute burst of heat and passion. What he had with Stacy was a slow burn. Both were good, but still very different.

He broke the kiss and took her hand, "Do you want to go to my place?" He couldn't believe he was letting her back in, but her very presence pushed every button he had. While he talked a lot of shit about hookers, he had rarely had any in the past, and since Gwen there hadn't even been one. His only companion had been his hand, and frankly he was aching for something more. It was unfortunate that the something more was coming in the form of his ex.

She smiled and nodded, "Yeah." Such a simple exchange. She allowed him to lead her out of the hospital.

As they passed through the lobby hand in hand House locked eyes with Cuddy who had been standing at the nurses station. If he didn't know any better he could have sworn he saw a flicker of pain flash through her eyes.

He didn't know better. Nothing hurt more than watching House walk away with Stacy. Lisa could actually feel herself putting up another wall against House. Just another reason to add to the list of why they would never be together.

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><p><strong>Hate me? I know I know I got rid of Derrek then went and brought in Stacy. I AM MEAN XD<strong>


	13. No One Else on Earth

**A.N.: Just to be clear the medical knowledge shown in this chapter is from my actual experience with my sister. I have no idea if what happened with her is common or not. I am not a doctor. Just play along with me here xD**

**Oh and there was no way in hell I was going to write Hacy smut. I support Hacy as a necessary plot point in House's history, but I draw the line there.  
><strong>

**I do not own these characters, except Gwen. She is mine and they can not have her!**

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><p><em>"No one else on earth can ever hurt me<em>

_ Break my heart the way you do."_

Lisa couldn't keep her mind off of House being with Stacy. What was he doing taking her back so easily? Granted, he really had pushed her away. She couldn't even be sure if she would have been able to stay had she been in Stacy's shoes, but still she had hurt him so bad. He had been scary after she left. Lisa and Wilson had worried that he might commit suicide. It was crazy. He had been in a hell of a lot of pain emotionally and physically. It had taken him over a year to be able to start dealing ok. Now he had Gwen. Why had he pretended that Gwen was a patient? Was he has ashamed of their situation? Sure it was complicated, but Lisa had thought that it was going as well as could be expected. If Stacy stuck around would he tell her? And if Stacy stuck around why should Lisa be ok with her being in Gwen's life? House certainly hadn't been supportive of her being with Derrek. He had resented Derrek's involvement in Gwen's life. Why the hell should she be supportive of Stacy having an involvement in Gwen's life? That just didn't seem fair at all.

She found herself at the end of the day having accomplished nothing. The downside of that was that she had paperwork that needed to be done before the end of the day. She called the nanny to check up on Gwen and inform her she would be a little later than usual. When the nanny confirmed that she was napping and seemed to be doing ok she set about the task of reviewing the necessary papers before she signed her name to them.

At seven thirty her phone rang. The nanny informed her that Gwen's fever had spiked to 102 and now her breathing seemed off. Lisa told her to come down to the emergency room and that she would be waiting for her. After hanging up the phone she hopped up and hurried out of her office.

A thought stopped her in her tracks, and she rushed back to her office to retrieve her blackberry. House needed to know about this. She called his landline, but it must have been knocked off he hook. She tried his cell, but he didn't pick up. She sighed and resolved to call him again until he picked up. She had no way of knowing that his cell was in the pocket of his pants discarded in the living room and set to vibrate. She would spend the next two hours in the emergency room alone with Gwen while House got to know Stacy again.

* * *

><p>At 12:30 there was a loud banging sounding throughout House's apartment. He groaned and tightened his hold involuntarily on Stacy. Who the hell could possibly think it would be ok to knock on his door at such an ungodly hour? The one night he went to sleep early. That was such bullshit.<p>

He tried to ignore it but the knocking persisted. Stacy stirred and turned to face him, "Go and send whoever that is away. That knocking is annoying."

He rolled his eyes but pried himself out of bed, "Sure make the cripple answer the door."

"Quit being a baby." She mumbled and hugged the pillow he had abandoned to her chest. He let himself smile at that. She was pretty fucking cute when she wanted to be.

He limped to the living room and answered the door clad in nothing but his pajama pants, "You better have a damn good reason for pulling me out of bed."

Wilson glared at his best friend, "Where the hell is your cellphone? Your beeper? Why is your phone off the hook?" He was pissed and it was obvious.

House shrugged, "Must have knocked the phone off the hook earlier and I am guessing the beeper got left at work. I had my cell though. Hold on." He looked around and found his pants. When he pulled out his phone and opened it he was greeted by at least thirty different missed calls and numerous voicemails, "Huh... I guess it was on vibrate. Do I have a patient?"

Wilson crossed his arms over his chest, "Gwen was admitted to the hospital."

House's body went rigid. He was awake now, "What? Why? What happened?"

"She has a case of acute RSV. Cuddy called me when they admitted her. She has been calling you all God damn night. She is pissed House. Rightfully so."

House ran a hand over his face, "Shit." He mumbled, "Is she doing ok?"

Wilson held his hands up and shook his head, "You know how this goes. She is on oxygen therapy. All they can do is supportive care. She has to fight this herself. Her xray isn't pretty, but it isn't too far along."

"I am guessing it progressed to the early stages of pneumonia?"

Wilson nodded, "Usually does in the acute cases."

House sighed, "I better get down there."

"You better hope Cuddy lets you in the door."

"Yeah yeah I know I fucked up. I will deal with it. Thanks for coming by." He waved him off and began to walk towards his room to get dressed.

Wilson accepted the thanks and just left. If he was lucky his friend would still be alive after Cuddy got done with him.

When House got back into he room Stacy was in the same position he had left her in snoozing away like nothing had happened. He got dressed as quietly as he could and left her a note that he had to go into the hospital. He still wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her about Gwen, but he did know that he sure as hell was not going to tell her over a note. He could deal with her later.

* * *

><p>Cuddy was curled up in the chair next to her daughter's bed watching her sleep inside the oxygen tent. It broke her heart that she couldn't hold her baby, but she knew that her best chance at fighting off this disease was receiving her nebulized treatments under that tent. Her eyes burned from the tears she had been shedding. She was stressed out and impossibly hurt. It was one thing to go off with Stacy, but to avoid her calls when their daughter was sick? She just couldn't comprehend it.<p>

The door creaked open and she sat up a little thinking that the nurse had come by for Gwen's next treatment. What she saw instead was House.

He nodded a little to her, "You look like hell." He focused his attention on Gwen, "How is she?"

"As well as can be expected." She kept her eyes focused on Gwen, "Now that you have seen her, you need to go."

"Come on Cuddy. She's my kid too."

She let out a sarcastic laugh, "Funny. Earlier she was your patient." She shook her head and rubbed her forehead, "When you came around I at least thought you would be here for things like this. I was glad to know I wouldn't be doing all of this alone. You chose a good time with your ex over your daughter tonight. If that is how this is going to be then fine. I don't need you, but I will be damned if I am going to allow you to be around her and giving her less than your best. Are you ashamed of her House? Is that why you lied? Are you ashamed of how she came about? About our 'family'? This isn't family. You have shown me that tonight. You gave me hell about Derrek, but at least I was including Gwen in every part of my life. I was with a man who accepted her as well as me. You won't even admit her existence to Stacy. I can't do this. I will no allow you to make our daughter your dirty little secret and let her needs slide by while you get your rocks off. It is unacceptable. Just.. Get out House. I don't want to see you right now."

House stepped towards her not about to give up that easy, "Stacy _just_ came back around, Cuddy. Do you really think I needed to tell her right off the back about our daughter? I wasn't even sure if I was going to let her stick around. Hell, I still don't know if I will. As far as me not answering, it was an accident."

"You don't get to have accidents like this, House. You are a father. Hell, you are a doctor! I have to be able to reach you at all times. It is called responsibilities."

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, knowing that she was right. This was an accident that should never have happened, "I will tell her about Gwen."

Lisa raised her gaze to meet him, "So she is staying?"

He shrugged a little, "Does that bother you?"

She looked away again and fiddled with her necklace, "What do I care? It is your life."

"You're lying."

She scoffed at his blunt deceleration, "I am not."

"You are. I know you. I know when you are lying to me, and you are now. Why do you care if Stacy is back?"

"She hurt you. You should be careful."

House shook his head, "That isn't the whole story."

"You don't know everything House!"

House stepped closer and put his hand under her chin forcing her to look up at him, "I know you. So fess up."

She just stared at him for a second before finally owning up to it, "We just got to a good place, or at least I thought so. Things were hard with Derrek in he mix. You were always so jealous."

"And you will be jealous of Stacy?"

She shrugged a little, "The mommy role is already filled."

He smiled, "But step mommy and wife isn't."

She snorted and pulled her chin away from his hand, "Switching roles doesn't suit us. You are saying my lines with a few variations."

House chuckled and stuffed his hand in his pocket, "Cuddy, I don't know what is going to happen between me and Stacy, but you, me, and Gwen. That's forever. Nothing is changing that."

"She is wrong for you." Lisa insisted.

"Wow. Now you are stealing my lines."

She offered him a little smirk, "I figured if we are going to be switching I should go all out."

He took her hand and pulled her up. In a swift movement he had her against his chest hugging her, "I'm sorry for not being here. Really. I should have been."

She melted into he hug and nodded a little, "Ok." She didn't know what else to say. This was abnormal for House, and she loved every second of the hug, probably more than she should.

After a few minutes he released her, "Why don't you go catch a nap in your office? I can stay here."

She shook her head and sat back down, "I am good here."

He nodded a little, "Alright. I am going to check on my patient then crash in my office. The chairs in here suck. Call me if anything changes. I swear that the ringer is on this time." He gave her a playful smile happy to have the hard part of the night over with.

"Alright. Good night, House."

"Night Cuddy." He called over his shoulder as he walked out.


	14. Surprise, Surprise

**A.N.: House so did get off easy, but seriously doesn't he always? It seems like everyone always writes off anything he does as House being House.**

**Anyway, I don't own. On with the show.**

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><p>Stacy woke up to find herself still only hugging a pillow. She listened in vain for sounds of movement in the apartment from House. Nothing. She sighed and rolled over onto her back. When she did she heard something crumple under her weight. She had rolled onto a piece of paper.<p>

_Stacy,_

_Had to go back to the hospital. There is no food in my place, so don't bother looking. If you want to grocery shop for me, be my guest. Lock up when you leave. I will call you when I can._

_House_

Typical House. Well, at least he had left her a note.

She stayed laying in bed letting her mind roll over the events of the previous night. There was nothing awkward about their reunion physically. He had obviously missed her in that regard just as much as she had missed him. She had wanted to talk, but every time she tried to he would push it off. She couldn't even count the number of times he had silenced her with yet another kiss. It was obvious to her that he was not quite ready to face it. In a way, she wasn't ready either. A part of her was convinced he wouldn't be able to find it in his heart to truly forgive her. House had always been a stubborn man. Once set in his ways it was hard to turn back. It was in his own beliefs that people can't change. If he decided not to try to move past her leaving they would never be able to have their second chance.

He had given her no other choice but to leave. He had pushed her away with every bit of strength he had, which was surprisingly quit a bit for someone recovering from surgery. She couldn't make herself live like that. She had been drowning in his misery. She worried about him every day. He wasn't taking care of himself, and she couldn't make him take care of himself. She loved him, but in the end she had chosen herself. She loved herself more. Was that so wrong? Would he have done any different? She hadn't wanted to leave. Even now she regretted it. She wished she had been stronger, but she just wasn't.

She needed to see him. She was almost positive that if she went to the hospital she would find him in his office. It was surprising that even after all this time she would still want to be with him after only a few hours of absence. She had slipped seamlessly back into her same place as far as he went. Now she needed to know where he stood. Maybe she shouldn't push, but she couldn't help it. She came back for her guy. Their relationship. She wasn't going to accept anything less.

* * *

><p>Her trip to the hospital brought a lot more surprises than she had been figuring on. When she asked one of House's boys where he was they told her that he would probably be in his daughter's room. She stayed calm enough to find out where that was, but her mind was reeling on her way to the indicated room. Daughter? How old? Who was the mother? Was he with the mother? Had he cheated on that mother with her last night? Had he cheated on her with the mother while they were still together? So many possibilities, almost all of them with the capability of hurting her. If she was lucky it would all turn out to be a mistake. In general, Stacy was not very lucky.<p>

Stacy raised her hand and knocked gently on the door of the hospital room before pushing it open. What she saw when she walked in was something she was in no way prepared for. House was sitting in the chair cradling a sleeping girl with Lisa Cuddy sitting next to him talking quietly and smiling. Smiling fondly. Only an idiot would miss the look in her eyes. Cuddy had feelings for House. This was going to be so damn complicated.

Cuddy's attention had finally been torn away from House apparently not having heard her knock, but she did notice House staring at her. Stacy walked the rest of the way into the room with her arms crossed over her chest, "Your team told me you might be in your DAUGHTER'S room. Care to explain?"

House looked from Stacy to Cuddy then back again, "This is Gwen. My daughter... Enough explanation for you?"

Stacy rolled her eyes, "Not even close. Where is her mother?" It never even for a moment passed through her mind that the mother could be in the room right that moment.

"Right here." Lisa seemed to sit up straighter. She was not afraid to admit she was Gwen's mother. She felt no shame, at least not when it came to Gwen.

"Are you... Where you two together?" Stacy couldn't wrap her mind around this idea. Cuddy had been her friend, or so she thought. Had she had feelings for House the entire time?

House sighed a little, "No. It was a one time thing. Well... Other than in college, but I don't think it counts if almost ten years had passed."

Stacy rubbed her forehead, "I don't even know what to think."

"You accept it and deal." House told her a bit coldly, "She is here to stay."

"You expect me to just take this all in right away and be alright with it? You have a kid!"

Cuddy glared at her, "Keep your voice down. She hasn't been sleeping well."

Stacy gave her a slightly apologetic look, "I'm just saying, this is a lot to take in."

House looked down at Gwen to make sure she hadn't been disturbed, "I get that, but if you can' handle it then there is no point here. You want me you have to accept them."

"Them?" She asked curiously.

House raised his gaze back up to her, "Mommy dearest comes as part of the package. I can't very well be around my kid and not include her mother."

Cuddy inwardly fought off the urge to smile smugly. Stacy fought off the urge not to glare at her, "Well forgive me for interrupting family time. Call me when you can find time for me." She stalked out not yet ashamed for letting her jealousy get the better of her.

* * *

><p>Cuddy stared at the now closed door before turning back to House, "Well that went well."<p>

House rolled his eyes, "Do a better job at hiding your pleasure in what just happened please."

She laughed a little, "I am not pleased, but I'm not surprised either. Finding out your ex got another woman pregnant is a big thing. When that woman happens to be someone you used to be friends with is an even bigger thing. Can you really blame her for freaking out?"

"I guess not, but frankly I don't think she has the right to be all upset. She left me. Was I supposed to stay celibate?"

"Don't you wish she had?

"Sure, but that doesn't make me right."

Cuddy sighed, "Look House, if you really want her then you need to give her time to process. She needs to figure out if she wants to be a part of this. Derrek tried to handle it but couldn't. She might not be able to handle it." She couldn't believe she was giving him dating advice, but she couldn't put herself in the way of something that could make him happy. He knew she wasn't happy about Stacy being back around. That was enough.

He listened solemnly and nodded, "I know." The big issue was not how Stacy felt about it though. To him it was more important to figure out how he felt about it. Did he really want Stacy in his life and involved in his family? Could he chance getting hurt again? What if he took that pain out on Gwen? She didn't deserve that, and frankly he didn't think he could handle getting hurt again. On the other hand, he obviously did still have feelings for her. She had the potential to either make him happy or rip his heart out again. He didn't know what he wanted, but what he did know was that he had a hell of a lot to think about.


	15. The Art of Self Sacrifice

A.N.: I have a busy couple of days planned. Not sure how updating is going to go for this or for Maybe I'm Amazed, but I promise to try.

I do not own.

Gwen's condition progressed as expected for the next few days. She was steadily getting better. She could have gone home, but Lisa insisted she stay for a few more days of observation just to be sure. She was not willing to take any risks when it came to her daughter even if she was more than capable of taking care of her. If House had talked to Stacy he cerainly didn't mention it to Lisa. There had been no more surprise visits from the lawyer, for that she was very grateful. A part of her, a large part, hoped that Stacy would be intimidated by the circumstances and back off. She had always liked Stacy as a person, but she did not belong in their little threesome. When Lisa had pretty much decided that there was no hope for her dating life she had never taken it into consideration that House would have a chance at dating anyone. She wasn't prepared for this and she didn't like it. What could she say? 'If I have to be alone you have to be alone with me?' Yeah that would go over real well. In truth, she didn't have it in her to be selfish. She would always want the best for House. If Stacy would make him happy then she could learn to live with that, or at least that was what she told herself.

On the final day of Gwen's stay in the hospital she was receiving her last nebulized treatment. Gwen was not happy at all about being alone under that tent yet again and was vocally making her protest against it be wailing at the top of her once again strong lung. Lisa stayed next to the bed with her hand carefully pressed up against the tent. She was tired herself and overly emotional trying very hard not to break into tears herself as she attempted to console her daughter through the clear material, "Its almost over, baby. Don't cry. Mommy is right here."

The consoling words did nothing more than have Gwen adding, "Momma!" To her wailing hoping this would get her out of the tent and picked up. Those ten minutes were the longest of Lisa's life. When the treatment was over she didn't wait for the nurse to help her. She opened the tent and extracted her hysterical daughter. She rubbed circles on her back and held her close with her head settled into the crook of her neck, "It's over. I'm here. Mommy's here." She cooed until Gwen's cries had died into silent tears and hiccups. Another five minutes and she was passed out completely exhausted. Lisa could have put her down, but she was unwilling to break contact. She was almost positive that the experience had been much more traumatic for her than her daughter.

A knock on the door signaled a visitor. She knew it wasn't House partially because she knew his patient was in surgery and partially because whoever it was actually knocked. To her surprise and slight dismay Stacy walked over to her.

The woman's eyes were glued to Gwen's sleeping form. For the most part you could mostly see Cuddy in her, but she was pretty sure that Greg could be found there too, "I bet she has his eyes, doesn't she?"

Lisa nodded trying not to how her confusion about this very random visit, "She does. They are almost exact replicas."

Stacy cleared her throat and took the seat next to Cuddy, "I never wanted kids. It was one of the few things the both of us agreed on. He never had much interest, and I was not fond of the idea of dirty diapers and sleepless nights that might be better spent prepping for a case or having sex."

"We didn't plan Gwen Stacy. Are you worried he lied to you?"

She shook her head, "No. I'm just worried I won't fit in to this weird life the two of you have going." She admitted honstly, "I am also worried about what will happen when he realizes you love him."

Lisa scoffed, "I do not love him."

"You do. You are both just two stubborn to see it. I have eyes, Lisa. I saw the way you looked at him. Even before there was always a touch more to your caring than friendship. Now you have invested yourself into this life with him, and the way you were basically ready to fight me off when I showed up to see him. It is so obvious to everyone except the two of you."

Lisa rubbed Gwen's back and looked off to the wall across from her, "You are reading too much into such small things. I don't love him, and I am not going to take him from you. If you want him, just tell him."

"I want him." She confirmed, "But I'm not sure I want her."

"That could change." Lisa said quietly.

"It could, or I could subject that girl to my presence in her life when I won't even really want her around. Who is that fair to?"

"No one." Lisa answered feeling extremely uncomfortable. The one had in essence just shown up declaring that she was in love with House and that she herself might not ever even like Gwen. She supposed that Stacy's skills as a lawyer kept her from being able to not scrutinize everything to death.

"Exactly." She took a letter out of her purse and handed it to her, "That's why I need you to give him this."

Lisa narrowed her eyes, "You owe him more of a goodbye than this, Stacy."

"It is more than I left him with last time." She stood up and straightened her skirt, "Plus, I know that if I see him face to face I won't leave." She moved towards the door then paused for a moment before exiting, "Try not to waste too much time, Lisa."

Lisa stared at the closed door in utter shock. She had not been expecting this at all. She knew Stacy was not the biggest fan of children, but she assumed she would have been able to deal with it for House. Then again, this was the woman who had bailed in favor of her own comfort. Stacy was a fairly selfish human being. She was strong, but not strong enough to put up with her own discomfort in favor of being there for her loved ones for long periods of time. Gwen was a lifetime commitment. She was not willing to make that. Lisa supposed she should be happy for her honesty. In the end it would spare Gwen, but as she sat there all she could do was think about how much this would hurt House.

House had been putting off talking to Stacy. Discussing feelings was not his favorite pasttime, and it would be even worse when he still couldn't figure out how he felt. He decided to wait till she approached him again. After all she was the one wanting to start things again. She should be the one to take all of the initiatives. He hoped she would come, not that he would admit that to anyone. She had the poential to make him happy again. He would get to have everything. Gwen, Stacy, and he would still get to drive Cuddy bananas, which was always a plus. He would be one lucky bastard if he could have all of that. Maybe that was why he was not feeling overly confident about the whole situation. On average he was not lucky.

When his patient was moved to recovery he went to Gwen's room to help Cuddy prepare for her discharge. What he found was Cuddy sitting stiff as a board in the chair with Gwen sleeping nestled in her arms. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to her, "What's wrong? Did she start to get worse." When Cuddy merely shook her head he pressed on, "Come on. I know somethings up. Just spit it out."

Cuddy lifted her hand and held out a letter, "I am so sorry." Her voice was filled with emotion and she looked generally upset about whatever she had just handed over, "Stacy came by earlier and left that for you."

He knew in an instant why she was so upset. She was anticipating his hurt. Cuddy had always been an emotional being, even if she tried to hide it, "Let me guess. She isn't coming back?"

Cuddy shook her head, "No. House, I don't know what to say. She said she had never wanted kids and that she was afraid she would never really want to have Gwen in her life. She was protecting her."

He brought his gaze to his snoozing daughter and tried very hard not to resent her. After all it wasn't her fault, it was Stacy's. She hadn't even been willing to try, but there was still a twinge of resentment. He hated himself for it, even though it really was just part of being human. You could resent just about anything that stood in the way of your idea of what might bring you happiness, "I am going to go home. You have things covered here?"

Lisa considered telling him yes just so he wouldn't go back to his place to do something possibly harmful and stupid, but she knew better. Trying to protect him would make him push her so hard away from him that she would very well fall on her ass, "No, we are good."

He nodded, "Ok. I will come by your place tomorrow to check on her." With that said he went out and went home to drink himself into a stupor. Had he read the letter instead of setting on fire he would have known that Stacy was positive about Lisa's love for him. Had he read it he would have known that while she had been protecting Gwen in a way she had also been stepping aside to give the two of them a chance, but House had been so sure that he knew exactly what he would read. Nothing but a letter filled with useless I'm sorrys and meaningless bullshit that would leave him with nothing but more anger.

The next morning he would wake to find Wilson his couch. Upon Cuddy's insistance he had gone over and spent his night cleaning House's vomit and making sure he did not hurt himself. House had amazing friends, a beautiful daughter, but yet his leg still hurt and he was still unhappy. Nothing was ever really good enough was it? 


	16. The Morning After

**A.N.: So wired from the concert. 22 years old and totally rocking it out at a Backstreet Boys concert. I AM NOT ASHAMED.**

**SamiD88: Welcome aboard! I actually weighed the pro's and con's of who to let walk away. Even if House had pushed Stacy away Cuddy would probably still wonder if she was second choice. I feel this will work out nicely later down the road.**

**Temo: XD SORRY! It will only get more depressing before it gets worse.**

**IHeartHouseCuddy: SORRY TO YOU TOO! Didn't meant to frustrate you. Glad you are into it though.**

**And to all you people following, to quote House himself "CLIMB OUT OF YOUR HOLES PEOPLE!" xD I welcome your reviews.**

**I do not own.**

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><p>House had a massive hangover. Downing an entire bottle of bourbon probably was not his best idea, but he was pretty sure it had done its job. He had drowned his sorrows, and now he could move on now. The only really good thing that had come out of Stacy leaving was that she had not been around long enough to do too much damage this time.<p>

After making a pot of coffee he moved over to the couch and forced Wilson's legs off of the couch so he could sit down.

Wilson was pulled out of his sleep as his feet hit the floor. He jumped a little and adjusted himself so that he could be sitting up. He yawned and stretched, "Well good morning to you too." He grumbled, none too happy that he had been woken from his slumber by the very person who had kept him up so late in the first place. House had been an absolute horror the night before. By the time Wilson got there he had been almost to the bottom of his bottle. Unlike other people House didn't pour his heart out. He watched tv and moped then later he poured out the contents of his stomach. Getting him to bed was a pain in the ass. If he had his way he would have just slept on the floor of the bathroom, but Wilson's conscience would not allow him to just leave his best friend on the floor that way.

House made a non committal grumble and shrugged his shoulders a little. He took a sip of his coffee and flipped the tv on with the remote, "I don't even remember you coming in."

"That is probably because you were up to your eyeballs in Bourbon." He eyed House's cup of coffee, "You couldn't have brought me a cup."

"Get your own." He snapped.

Wilson rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, "How hospitable."

"Hey I didn't invite you." House kicked his feet up on the coffee table before asking something that had been bothering him since he saw Wilson on the couch, "Why did you come over anyway? Did you smell my neediness?"

"That and Cuddy called." He admitted, "She was worried about you."

"Ah sure. I should have known Cuddy would be worried over my poor broken heart. She doesn't feel right unless she is watching my ass."

Wilson shook his head, "Only you would make caring into something that she just HAS to do. You are the father of her child and she adores you. Of course she was worried about your broken heart. She is a better person than you. She wanted to see you happy."

House scrunched his nose and looked at Wilson curiously, "Does adore mean hate where you come from? We are always at each other's throats."

"For being a genius you can be such an idiot. Your fighting is a sick form of foreplay." He glanced at House then back at the tv, "She thinks Stacy took your heart out and did another dance on it. Judging by your performance last night I think she was right. Want to talk about it?"

"I thought that it was common knowledge that I do not have a heart?"

Wilson smiled a little, "Aren't you the one who believes that pretty much everyone is an idiot anyway?"

House let a few minutes pass then finally gave him his answer, "She hurt me, but it was probably for the best. I'm not even sure if I wanted her to stick around anyway. Too much history. Plus Cuddy said that she said she wasn't sure if she could accept Gwen. We don't need that."

"You should tell Cuddy all that."

"Why the hell does she need to know?" House was not one for talking about feelings especially not twice in one day

"Lets see which reason will motivate you most. She is Gwen's mother. She cares about you. She thinks you resent Gwen for Stacy leaving."

"I do not resent my daughter!" House snapped.

"I didn't say you did." Wilson said holding up his hands in surrender, "I said she thinks you might."

House took another sip of his coffee then shook his head, "I might have for a second, but she is my kid. She didn't do anything wrong. This was all just one big ass mess. She doesn't deserve any blame."

Wilson nodded, "No she doesn't, and she will never know that you felt it even for a moment. Cuddy will always wonder though. You owe her. Ease her worries. You know her. She will dwell on this."

House considered this for a moment then nodded. He probably did owe Cuddy at least a little bit of an explanation to ease her mind. She didn't need to be worried about him other than at the hospital. He might make her life hell at work, but at least with this he could make her fell a little bit better.

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><p>Douglas Cuddy sat beside his daughter on her couch with his granddaughter sitting on his lap. Gwen was playing with the buttons on his shirt, "She looks good. I am guessing she is feeling better?"<p>

Lisa nodded, "Yeah she has been doing just fine since we got back yesterday. I will have to watch her in winter. Now that she has had RSV she will be susceptible to getting pneumonia again."

"Pop, me!" Gwen tugged on his shirt wanting her grandfather's attention to be fully on her.

Douglas laughed and bounced her on his knee trying to get her to laugh, "I am sure you will take fine care of her. Having doctors for parents certainly will play to her advantage."

Lisa smiled and let herself enjoy the shrill giggle of her little girl. She was happy to be able to have her back at home and to know that she would be just fine, but worry for House still ate at the back of her mind. How long would it take him to recover this time? Would he stop working again? Stay drunk? Would he want to see Gwen again? She didn't know how she would handle him falling down another hole of depression, "Yeah it definitely can't hurt having so many doctors around her."

Douglas heard the flat tone in her voice and turned to look at her, "Something on your mind?"

Lisa shook her head, "Nothing I can't handle."

Douglas might have pushed further but one loud knock then the door opening signaled that House had barged right on in. He nodded to the threesome, "Daddy Cuddy, so nice to see you."

Gwen squealed in excitement and held her hands out to her father, "Daddy daddy daddy! ME! UP!"

House smiled and scooped her up out of Douglas' arms before planting himself down on a chair, "Sorry grandpa, but this daddy was clearly missed." Gwen emphasized this point before snuggling up against the crook of his neck.

Douglas chuckled a little, "I was about to head out anyone. Nice to see you again Dr. House." He was fairly sure that his daughter's tone from earlier was directly related to the man who had just barged into her home. He was giving them the time they needed to work it out. He leaned over and kissed Lisa's cheek gently, "I will talk to you later, sweetheart. I'm glad she is doing better." After receiving his goodbye from Lisa and kissing the top of Gwen's head he took his leave.

House rubbed circles on Gwen's back while she patted his scruff with her hand, "I didn't mean to interrupt daddy/daughter time."

Lisa shook her head, "Don't worry. He had been here for a while."

"Good." They stayed silent for a moment before he spoke, "Wilson told me you were worried. You don't have to be. I'm good."

Lisa sighed and pulled her feet up under her, "Yeah I am sure you are just fine. You lost the love of your life... again, because of her feelings towards our daughter."

He scoffed, "Love of my life? Do you really think I am that sentimental?"

"You are a lot more romantic than you like to let off. You love her."

He shrugged a little, "Things don't always work out. Love isn't everything. If she can't handle Gwen then she doesn't need to be here. I told you this is forever." He helped Gwen to stand up on his good leg and she smiled and bounced on it.

"So... You are ok?" She was skeptical. House had a bad history of hiding his true feelings.

"I had my 'mourning period' last night with a bottle of Bourbon. I can't change what happened."

"Alright." She conceded knowing that if she pushed him too hard he would snap. She stood up and moved over to pat his shoulder, "You two have fun. I am going to go make supper."

House nodded and turned his full attention on his daughter, "You just remember you can't run off on me ok?" Gwen smiled and smacked him playfully on the head with her tiny hand. House laughed a little and rolled his eyes, "Women are nothing but pain, even the tiny ones."


	17. Help! I Really Need Somebody

**A.N.: xD APPRECIATE ALL THE REVIEWS ON THE LAST CHAPTER.**  
><strong>Here is another.<strong>

**I do not own. Scenario with Tritter and the case of the little girl allergic to sunlight was borrowed and twisted to meet my needs.**

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><p>December 2003<p>

Gwen Cuddy is now two years old. She runs around the house like she owns it. Her curious little hands dig in absolutely everything that she can get into. She loves to be the center of attention, and she knows how to get it. She is adored by the staff of PPTH and even more by her family. She is the light of her mother's life and the only source of happiness that her father will readily accept anymore besides his job. House's Vicodin intake has gone through the roof over the past months. Lisa can do nothing more than wring her hands in worry. He can still perform his job and care for their daughter, but how long will that last. He has gotten tired of her probing questions about his pain, but she can't help herself but to ask. She worries over him constantly. She and Wilson try to discuss ways to help him, but it all turns out to be in vain. The minute they try to help he pushes them further and further away.

It has been especially bad lately. House got himself into a real pickle. He left a rectal thermometer in the backside of a detective. Detective Tritter had no intention of letting him slide. He is now facing charges of driving while intoxicated and possession with intent to traffic. Everyone was being affected by Tritter's reign of terror. Wilson was the one hit hardest. He tried to get House a deal, but had to basically turn himself over to help Tritter in the process. It seemed to Lisa like everything was going to hell. She had to cut off his Vicodin, and so far it had not been a pretty sight. He was in detox and being a complete nightmare with the current case his team had taken on. It was a little girl that reminded her so much of Gwen. Being a mother it seemed like every child reminded her of Gwen these days. She had been pulled onto the case as a temporary guardian to make medical decisions for her, but the little girl had just gotten sicker and sicker. When taken to surgery she had broken out in a rash and her fever spiked. Lisa grabbed her up and rushed with her into a shower stall. She held her close to her body and let ice cold water rain down on them both.

House walked to the stall and stared down on Cuddy, "What the hell happened?"

She shook her head, "She spiked a fever and look at her arm." She was absolutely destraut. She didn't know what to do for this child. She might die, and Lisa couldn't stop it.

House was nearly growling at her, "Can you not even take care of a four year old? Fuck Cuddy should I even allow you around our daughter? I don't know how you ever planned to make it on your own, because you obviously suck as a mother."

Having spat the words he didn't even mean at her he limped away without a second thought to give to the woman he had left on the floor of the shower stall.

She was in absolute shock. The logical part of her knew that he was detoxing and probably didn't mean it, but her heart wouldn't have any part of it. He had been out to hurt her and it worked. She fought a good fight and put up a good front, but she spent most of her time feeling inadequate when it came to being a mother. She spent so much time at work she constantly wondered if she was enough for Gwen. He had verbally stabbed her right where it hurt. In the privacy of the shower stall she sobbed as she held tight on to the little girl.

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><p>After a basically sleepless night Lisa decided she needed to talk to someone. This was becoming all too much. Between worry over House, worry over the hospital, and worry over Gwen she was strung out. She didn't know which way to turn anymore. She needed help and she was no longer afraid to ask for it. If she was going to give her best both at home and at work she needed to get herself together. The problem was decididng who to talk to. Wilson was out of the question. Even under such strained circumstances he still might tell House about it. She didn't have much in the way of close friends other than him. She might have told her dad, but she didn't want to worry him too much. She knew he already suspected something. In the end she decided on professional help. Someone completely unbiased to help her figure herself out. It would be hard for her, she knew. She didn't like the idea of spilling your secrets to a stranger, but better a stranger than a friend who would use whatever you said against you later. No she wasn't bitter towards House at all.<p>

She called a local phsychiatrist and made her first appointment for later that day. She took the last opening of the day figuring that she could just leave from his office to go home.

Work was hell, but it had been a little better now that she had House back on regulated doses. He functioned better that way. He was at least distracted enough not to notice and question why she was leaving a little early.

She arrived early to the phsychiatrists office and sat stiff in the waiting room chair feeling severely inadequate. She should be stronger than this. She should be able to handle her problems on her own, not search for her answers in some complete stranger. The only thing that kept her rooted in the chair was thoughts of Gwen. She deserved more from her mother. Her father had completely lost himself lately. One of her parents had to have it together.

"Dr. Cuddy." The receptionist pulled her out of her thoughts, "Dr. Miller will see you now." Lisa nodded and walked into the indicated room.

It was a large room that had the feel of being in someone's living room. The desk was off in a far corner and the middle of the room containted what looked to be a very comfortable couch and two matching recliners facing it. Book shelves and various pictures adorned he walls. It was obvious that Dr. Miller had tried to give the place a feel of being home. He did fairly well.

Dr. Miller himself stood up and greeted her with a handshake. He was a tall man with sandy blond hair dressed in khakis and a light blue polo. He might have been an attractive man had his eyes not been a dull brown. Lisa mentally chastised herself. She was so incredibly picky when it came to eyes. She needed to stop that. It wasn't like every man in the world walked around with crystal blue eyes.

Dr. Miller gestured for her to have a seat on the couch while he took up residence on one of the recliners. He immediately took note of her stiff posture when she sat down. Grabbing his note pad he decided to start from there, "You seem uncomfortable, Dr. Cuddy."

Lisa gave him a tight smile, "Just a little. I have never done this before."

"Talked to a psychiatrist?"

She shook her head, "Asked for help. It is a lot more broad than just talking to a psychiatrist."

He nodded, "I see. So you like to handle things on your own?"

"I do."

"That can get stressful and lonely can't it?" He probed.

She shrugged, "Anyone can be lonely, but yes stressful is the reason I am here. I am the Dean of Medicine at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and the mother of a two year old. On top of that the father of my two year old is my most difficult and demanding employee."

"You say the father of your child. You two are not together?"

"No, we never were. My daughter is the product of a one night stand with a friend."

"But you didn't refer to him as a friend. You refered to him as the father of your child and your employee." He pointed out.

She fought not to roll her eyes, "Well I am sorry I didn't realize I needed to define him so well right away. He is my friend." She was defensive, and that did not slip by Dr. Miller's observation.

"The way you bristle talking about him I am supposing we have found the center of your stress."

She laughed a little, "I really can't deny that."

"Why don't you tell me about him."

She sighed and took a deep breath, "Well we met back in college. He is a good bit older than me. He was a med student and I was an undergrad. Even back then he was a legend. He is probably the most intelligent man you will ever meet. I was drawn to him instantly. He has this particular wit and humor that is just captivating. We had our first one night stand in college. Years later he showed up at my hospital. He had leg pain and had been written off numerous times as a drug seeker. Turns out he had an infarction in his leg that had led to muscle death. He refused to amputate his leg even though it was the safest course of action. Instead he had us put him on bypass essentially flushing all the waste into his body causing him to go septic. His girlfriend at the time was his proxy and she was destraught watching him go through the pain of the sepsis. Hell, I was destraught watching that. He was in a hell of a lot of pain. I told her there was a middle ground, but she told me he wasn't a big fan of middle ground. I already knew she was right. He would have never okayed the surgery. When he asked to put him in a chemically induced coma his girlfriend came to me and asked me to do the surgery. I had tried to tell her before that she needed to talk to him, but she didn't. And really... I wanted to do it. It saved his life. He was willing to die just to keep his leg in tact. I couldn't watch that. We removed the dead muscle. We saved his life but left him with a chunk of his thigh missing and a constant pain. He was a holy terror when he woke up. He hated both me and Stacy. I tried to help him. His best friend tried. His girlfriend did her best until he pushed her out of his life. Two months after she left was when we slept together a second time. I can't even remember how we ended up that way. One minute we were fighting and the next we were in bed." She looked down at the ground and paused for a second before continuing, "He said her name instead of mine. I should have known better than to sleep with him so soon after she had left. I felt like such an idiot. A week later he was gone. Nine months later I had Gwen." She finally smiled, "She is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. She is the best of the both of us. She is intelligent and cute. She has his gorgeous blue eyes and my dark hair. when he came back into my life eleven months later he saw her and he wanted to be in her life. He accepted us both as family. What he couldn't accept was my boyfriend at the time. His name was Derrek. He was so good with Gwen, but he and House just couldn't get along. If we were going to try and make a go of being one big family unit for Gwen they really needed to work together and they couldn't. I ended up breaking up with him when he asked me to marry him. I didn't really love him anyway I guess. He was a good man and good for Gwen, but that isn't love. After that his ex came back. I think a part of him wanted to forgive her and take her back. She didn't give him the chance. She told me that she wasn't sure she could ever accept Gwen and that she was worried about what would happen when he figured out I loved him. I tried to tell her I didn't, but she insisted. He told me the next day that it was better that she left, because Gwen is forever. If she couldn't accept Gwen then there was no reason to even go through it." She played with the hem of her skirt trying to keep all of her emotions in check, "After the infarction he started using Vicodin. Lately his use has been sky high. He recently pissed off a detective that has been giving him and my hospital as a whole absolute hell. He has pressed charges that House will have to go to court for. We had to stop writing perscriptions for his Vicoden so he has been detoxing. Yesterday he basically told me I was a horrible mother because I was having a hard time diagnosing this little girl that he had taken on. I was brought on as her guardian for medical decisions. She just kept getting worse. Lucking one of the other doctors diagnosed and saved her. Today we started regulating doses of vicodin for him because he functions better, but it is just so much." She shook her head, "I don't know what to do for him anymore."

Dr. Miller had listened in silence as she told her story. If he didn't know before her sure as hell did know now that this man would be the key to what was wrong with Dr. Lisa Cuddy, "He is a huge part of your life."

Again she fought not to roll her eyes, "No kidding."

"You say you don't know what to do for him anymore. Has it ever occurred to you that you aren't responsible for him?"

She narrowed her eyes, "I am his boss and his friend. I am supposed to be there for him."

"Be there for him, sure. Support him. Let him know he is not alone, but you can't save him. In the end he has to fix things for himself if and when he wants to."

"Oh yeah and in the mean time I will just let Gwen's father circle the drain." She shook her head, "I can't do that."

"This isn't just about Gwen." He stated simply.

"You heard a ten minute story and just assume you know how I feel? Yes it is about Gwen."

"That is what you want to think. It is what you are comfortable with, but you care for him much deeper than that. It is obvious to anyone who gets the privaledge of watching you talk about his intelligence and wit. When you praise him your eyes light up and you have this smile that is not the smile of an employer, friend, or mother of his child."

"So you are going to tell him that I love him too?" She asked in annoyance.

He nodded, "I think once you accept that you can start to move forward and work on everything else."

She shook her head and stood up, "This was a mistake. I don't need yet another person telling me how I feel. You are supposed to help me."

"I am trying to help you. You need to start with identifying how you feel."

"I know how I feel. Frustrated. Thank you for your time." She left his office with no intention of ever returning.


	18. The Heart Won't Lie

**A.N.: Dr. Miller knows what's up. Thanks for sticking with me everyone, I promise things will get happier soon...ish.**

**I do not own. Borrowed some things from the show and twisted them yet again for my sick, sick plans.**

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><p>Lisa Cuddy: Dean of Medicine. Single mother of one. Respected boss and colleague. Perjurer.<p>

She could not believe what she had done. She was used to cleaning up House's messes by now, but she had never thought she would put anything more than maybe her job on the line. This time she had put everything on the line. She could go to jail for what she had done. She lied on the stand to save his drug addicted ass. It was wrong, but she couldn't stand by and watch him land his ass in jail. When House went to the pharmacy to get a dead man's oxy it was the act of a desperate man, and it had cost him greatly. Tritter had enough to seal the deal. House was surely going to prison, but for the first time he had done the right thing. He checked himself in to rehab. He was going to get better. This was a good thing. She had pestered Tritter till he finally went and saw for himself, but the bastard didn't care. He was out to get House. Lisa couldn't let it happen. He was finally doing something good. Good for himself and good for Gwen. She supported that completely. So, when brought up as a witness she had lied and said he never got the oxy. She tampered with the inventory list. She lied. Lucky for her, the judge ruled in their favor. Now after a night in prison he was back at work. Tritter was out of their lives, and it seemed like they could move forward as normal.

Speaking of normal, she could not for the life of her find House. He was skipping out on clinic duty again. She sighed and went in search of him.

She found him in the very last place she thought she ever would. A park. She stood over his form laying out on the picnic table and looked down on him, "House, what the hell are you doing?"

He opened his eyes and stared back up at her, "Waiting for you of course. It is about time you showed up."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh I'm so sorry. I must have completely missed the note that told me to meet you at the park." She watched as he sat up and she moved around so she could face him, "You are supposed to be in the clinic."

"And you are supposed to be ten years younger and sleeping with me. That isn't going to happen either." He quipped. Reaching into his pocket and took out his Vicodin bottle. He popped it open and threw two pills into his mouth.

She gaped at him, "Is that Vicodin!"

"No it was breath mints. I thought you were going to kiss me."

She bit back a scream and turned away from him with her hand over her mouth to compose herself before facing him again, "What the hell happened to rehab?"

"It was a lame scene. I gave it up." He twirled his cane and smiled a little acting like he hadn't done a single thing wrong.

"So it as all just an act for Tritter?"

"Duh." He said with a roll of his eyes like she was the biggest idiot he had ever met.

She was furious to the point where she could feel her hands shaking, "Get your ass in the clinic right now before I send you back to jail where you belong!"

"Please, you lied to keep me out. You won't send me back." He stated confidently.

"The hell I won't! I did that because I thought you were getting clean."

"Oh no I'm not saying that you wouldn't because you are protecting me. I am saying that if you say you lied you will be getting yourself arrested as well. You falsified evidence. Now you can continue to try and use this against me, but where does it stop Cuddy? Clinic duty or you go to jail. Do your paper work or go to jail. Do me or you go to jail. Stop pretending like you are going to send me to jail, because you won't." He paused for a minute then continued, "Now are we going to kiss and make up or what?"

She couldn't look at him a second longer. His little speech had made her sick to the stomach. She walked away from the table at a quick pace. It took everything she had to fight off the tears that were threatening to spill over. She had to go. She had to get out, but where she ended up was a surprise to more than just her.

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><p>Dr. Miller stared as Dr. Cuddy paced his office rapidly. He had let her do that in peace for a while, but he really needed to figure out what was wrong with her, "Dr. Cuddy.. Is there something you need to discuss."<p>

"I wasn't going to come back here you know." She told him as she paced.

He nodded a little, "Yeah I figured that out last time. So, why did you come."

"He is just so.." She growled in frustration, "I could have gone to jail! I perjured myself on the stand to keep him out of jail, and in that I risked my own freedom as well. He was supposed to be getting clean. I could have been such a good thing for him and for Gwen. She deserves a clean and sober father. It was all a lie. I should have just let his ass rot in jail! Then he had the nerve to smugly inform me that I have no power over him because of this. The sad part is he is right. If I turn him in I am basically turning myself in. Then my baby will be raised by my sister. Or worse. My mother." She shook her head still pacing rapidly, "He is such an arrogant prick! Then he had the nerve to ask if I was going to kiss him" She scoffed and shook her head.

Finally Dr. Miller spoke up, "Did you want to?"

"What kind of idiotic question is that?" She snapped.

"A simple one." He adjusted himself in his seat a little and gestured for her to sit down. He waited until she finally did before continuing, "What I got from all that was that when House finally faced his charges you kept him out of jail by lying on the stand. Before he went to court he entered rehab. You thought he was doing it to be better, but he was really just doing it as a show for the court. You now know that so not only are you disappointed, but you are also upset that he stated the simple fact that you can't hold your actions over his head. My question to you is that when you were with him saying all of this did you still feel drawn to him? Would you have kissed him if better senses had not prevailed?"

She thought on this for a minute then shrugged, "There has always been a draw. I always want to kiss him, but that is just physical. We have the physical thing down cold. He is an attractive man. I would be an idiot to try and deny that attraction."

"And yet you do deny it. You stormed out of here last week because I dared to suggest that you love him."

"Love and attraction are two different things." She said simply.

"You see I find with women that that is not usually the case. It is a basic fact that women let their feelings play a huge part in most everything they do. Yes, they can separate them when need be, but attraction is not usually something to be separated. You say there has always been a draw. You see more than his good looks. You told me that yourself. When describing him to me you never once said he was sexy. You went on about his intelligence, wit, and humor. You see more than just his face, so the attraction is not merely physical. It is deeper."

"Maybe it is, but that doesn't mean I love him." She insisted.

"Dr. Cuddy if you took away all your complications with him would you be able to admit that you love him? If you weren't worried about your daughter, your jobs, his ex girlfriend, his pain, his resentment, his pill popping. If you were not such a bundle of nerves and guilt could you say it?"

She stared at the man across from her and contemplated what he said. Did she love him? She had fought against it for so long that she didn't even know what all she felt for him anymore. Certainly she cared. She probably cared too much. She admired him. She respected him. She saw the good in him even when everyone else didn't. She liked to spend time with him. She thought he was funny. She felt at her sexiest when he would leer at her and make inappropriate comments. She defended him. She felt the need to protect him. As she rolled all the facts over and over in her mind her heart felt like it might spontaneously combust. She did love him. Much more than she should. Without question she was head over heels for the most selfish man on the face of the planet. All of the time that she spent worried about how he might hurt Gwen, she worried about how he might hurt her as well. She was in such deep trouble.

"Yes." She finally answered in a whisper. Tears fell down her cheeks slowly at first, but soon she was absolutely sobbing. Her body shook and she covered her face with her hands. She didn't know that Dr. Miller had moved until he placed his hand gently on her back and placed a box of tissues on her lap.

He patted her back gently trying to console her, "Its ok, Lisa." He was fairly sure it was ok to use her first name now that he had busted through the great wall of China she had built around her heart, "Its ok to love him."

She shook her head and let her hands fall, "He hurts everyone around him. He hurts me. He doesn't love me. I am lucky he is as good with Gwen as he is. I had to lie for him on the stand, and he feels no gratitude for it. He is the same son of a bitch as before he went into rehab. How can I love that? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be alone in loving someone? To know that even though your heart is completely filled with love an adoration when they are around the other person will never feel the same?"

"Lisa, from what you have told me he is a complicated man. Probably more guarded than even you are. You can not assume you know how he feels without even discussing it with him. Now if your only point is that it is hard to love a man with as many problems as he obviously has, then yes I agree. It is probably nearly impossible. In his current state he is by definition no good for you or anyone else. He has to figure out himself and what he wants. You can't force it, and even though you love him I have to remind you of what I said last time. It is not your job to save him. Your first priorities are your daughter and yourself. He has to come after that. Now that you have acknowledged your feelings you can start working on how to deal with them. There is no need to pretend that they are not there anymore."

Lisa wiped her eyes and stared down at the floor, "So I love him, but I can't save him. I basically just have to wait until he saves himself?"

He smiled a little, "Like I told you before, you should be there for him, but yeah. He has to save himself. Our job is to keep your head above water. Not his. To pretend that his problems have no affect on you would be the world's biggest lie. Loving him means that when he hurts you hurt. You are affected, not as much as it affects him, but still a lot. We can deal with that. We can help you stay grounded even when it feels like you are at risk of drowning."

She nodded, "Ok."

"Is that an ok you are willing to work with me?"

"Yes."

She talked with him for a bit longer. In a way she actually felt better. At least she was no longer in denial. She loved Gregory House. Was that really such a shock? She had tried to ignore it for so long, it was actually much easier to just accept it as a fact. She had no idea where to go from here, but at least she had finally asked for help. She had a bad feeling that things were not going to get better with House anytime soon, and she welcomed assistance in 'keeping her head above water'.


	19. Sad Eyes Follow Me

**A.N.: I do not own.**

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><p><em>March 2003<em>

After Tritter life returned to about as normal as it would ever get for the House-Cuddy trio. Work was still a hassle, but Lisa was pretty sure it always would be with House as an employee. They fought daily, but it was just how they got along. Cuddy was learning to take everything with House in stride with the help of Dr. Miller. It helped to have someone she could vent to that wouldn't turn around and tell House to try and force them together. Even her father held that potential. He would say it was for her own good, and she would be sure that he believed that was true. It just wouldn't help things. House had to figure everything out on his own. If she thought for a moment he would buy into it she would have offered to pay for therapy for him herself, but House didn't even like talking to people he knew and trusted. There was no way he would ever agree to go and spill his guts out to some stranger, but hey a girl could dream couldn't she?

In her latest sessions with Dr. Miller they had been discussing the fact that Lisa had basically cut herself off from the dating world. She didn't like to look at it that way, but she knew that it was true. She had told him that she just couldn't see anything working with someone else when she had so much going on with her weird family with House. He accused her of not giving it a chance at all because of her love of House. He was right of course, but she couldn't quite see his point. Why try to have a relationship with someone when you were so obviously in love with someone else? He told her that she needed to see that while she would probably always love House, he might never be able to give her anything in return for that love. She knew he was right, but she still couldn't see herself trying to date. She simply told him that she would take his opinion on the matter into consideration. Trying to find someone else to let into her life was not something that she would be able to accomplish in a matter of a few sessions. She loved House completely even with his messed up tendencies. She couldn't see squeezing someone into that.

House for his part was functioning about as well as he ever had. His Vicodin use was still way over what it should be, but he was doing alright. He had noticed slight changes in Cuddy. She seemed more.. restrained and in control. It was like she would bite back and pace herself. He could still press all the right buttons to make her lose her temper eventually, but it was still taking longer than usual to get her there. They still had their banter, but something was definitely up with Cuddy, and he had every intention of finding out what it was.

He started paying more attention to her comings and goings. He had been so wrapped up in himself he had let Cuddy watch fall to the wayside. The only distinct change was that she seemed to leave a little early on Mondays. Tailing her one afternoon led him to find that she was seeing a therapist. This did not sit well with him. For Cuddy to seek help there had to be something big going on. Was she depressed? If so what was she depressed about? He passed up the office she had pulled into and headed to her house. He let the nanny go home for the day and spent his time waiting on Cuddy to come home playing with Gwen. Even with his mind distracted he still enjoyed the company of his daughter. She had become a very big fan of coloring. Her first masterpiece was on the wall, but she had learned well from that one experience that mommy did not like to come home and find Gwen's art on her walls no matter how pretty it was.

Gwen sat up on her booster seat in the dining room coloring on a scratch sheet of paper. House stayed with her kicked back on a chair of his own with his feet up on the table listening to his iPod.

Gwen smiled triumphantly when her picture was done and waved to her father to get his attention.

He took out his earbuds and looked over at her, "Yes squirt?"

"Daddy, I draw picture." She held up her paper covered in different colored squiggles waiting for him to praise her.

He raised an eyebrow as he examined the picture, "Well you are no Picasso, kid, but I dig your picture. Very modern eclectic."

She scrunched up her face in confusion, "Pretty picture, daddy?" She said looking for a compliment that she could actually understand.

He sighed a little and nodded, "Yes, a very pretty picture, Gwen." He conceded.

She smiled proudly and reached for another paper. She had barely gotten started when she heard the door open signalling the return of her mother, "MOMMY!" She pushed to get out of the booster seat almost toppling over in the process.

"Slow down squirt!" House exclaimed as he reached over to help her down.

Once safely on the ground Gwen took off and met her mother at the door frame of the dining room.

Cuddy scooped her up and accepted the hug and kisses that were showered on her returning them in kind, "Oh someone missed her mommy!" She cooed and squeezed her daughter tight, "I missed you two baby girl. Where you good today?"

Gwen nodded enthusiastically, "I good girl, Momma. Cross heart." She promised crossing her finger over her heart.

Cuddy grinned and carried her over to the table so she could sit with her in her lap, "Well I am very glad." She looked at the drawings on the table, "You have been coloring again I see. Did you keep it off my walls?" She directed this question to House.

He nodded, "She was strictly a paper artist today, but just so you know suppressing her art will stunt the growth of her talent."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "I think I can live with that."

House leaned forward and looked at Gwen, "Squirt, why don't you go play in the living room while I talk to your mom?

Gwen pouted, "No! My mommy!" She clung to Cuddy tightly not wanting to give up her mother when she only just got her.

Cuddy kissed the top of her head and extracted herself from the hold so that she could set her on the floor, "Mommy will come play with you in a few minutes. Daddy just wants to talk."

"Ok." She huffed and stomped away still not pleased with having to leave her mother.

Once she was out of the room House looked straight at Cuddy, "Why are you seeing a therapist?"

She visibly tensed and glared at him, "I don't see how that is your business. How do you even know?" She didn't see any point in denying it. There was no shame in seeking help, and it was obvious that he already knew she was seeing Dr. Miller. Lying to House would get her no where.

"I followed you. And it is completely my business. Answer my question."

Lisa crossed her arms over her chest, "It is not even a little bit your business."

"You are raising my kid. If there is something unstable about you I need to know." He was being low and he knew it. He was hitting below the belt to try and get her to answer his question if only out of defense.

She stood up and had to force herself not to slap him across his face, "How dare you even begin to talk about me being unstable when you are the pill popping misanthropic son of a bitch who runs around like he is responsible for no one and nothing! I am a damn good mother. How dare you imply that I might not be just because I am seeing a therapist."

He stared up at her knowing that she was right. She was a fine mother, but that did not trump his curiosity about why she was seeking professional help, "I know exactly how I am, but I am just wondering what finally caused you to break down and see a professional."

"I don't owe you that knowledge, House." She turned away from him and shook her head, "Get the hell out, House."

He stood up and moved over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder, "Just tell me, Cuddy."

"Can't I just want to talk to someone!" She snapped and turned on him, "Does that make me a bad mother? Does wanting to have someone who will listen without judgement to my feelings mean that I am not properly providing for my daughter?" She was basically spitting her words out at him. He had gotten the reaction he had been looking for.

He searched her face for a moment before responding, "No." He paused before continuing, "You could have talked to me though."

She let out a harsh laugh at that, "I said I wanted to talk to someone without being judged. I will never find that in you." She pulled herself away from his touch and motioned to the front door, "Get out. You got your answer."

House complied this time because she was right. He had gotten his answer. Somewhere deep down he felt a twinge of regret over the fact that she felt she couldn't turn to him. He wished that that wasn't the case. Somewhere in him he wanted to be the one she turned to and depended on. He wanted to be more for her than just the reason she did need to talk to someone, because he was pretty positive his name would come up in more than one of her therapy sessions. He wanted to stay and be there on the living room floor to play with Gwen, as he was sure she was doing now that he had finally left. That part was not nearly loud enough though and was burned out before he could even really complete a full thought of it. Lisa Cuddy could handle her own. She didn't need him. Hell she was probably better off without him as any sort of support other than what little he gave her with Gwen. It was a well known fact that he only made life harder.


	20. What's Love Got To Do With It?

**A.N.: I am a borrower of a situation and characters from the show House M.D. to meet my needs.**

**Also please remember what I told you about my timeline. It will never be the same as the show. I am borrowing from season four, but I am not taking on the new team. I'm not even sure I ever will.**

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><p><em>August 2003<em>

House never brought up Cuddy's therapy to her again. He figured that he was in no place to judge her if she had found something to help her through this fucked up thing they called life. He wished that he could say the same for himself. Things only seemed to get more complicated as time marched on. Gwen was going to be three in a month, and she was a handful to say the least. He hated that he had such a hard time keeping up with her. He had to be skillful in catching her when she started running around like a hyped up speed demon. He couldn't chase her the way Cuddy could. He was jealous of that. Cuddy could play with her and care for her in ways that he never would be able to. It was depressing. She also got to have Gwen in her home at night. Cuddy's home was filled with life while his was empty and cold. He had only had Gwen stay overnight once. All he had was his bed since it was a one room apartment. She had kicked in her sleep and hit him on his bad leg. It wasn't her fault, but it also wasn't something he wanted to relive, so she would not stay over again. He couldn't make a single thing normal for his daughter.

While in the clinic one day a patient had taken a knife and shoved it into an electrical socket. This caught House's attention for more than just the obvious fact that he needed medical attention. He was intrigued by the man's motivation. Why choose something so slow? Attention seeking? Maybe, but there were easier ways than to put your organs on a skillet. When asked later the patient had told him that there were seconds after the car crash that had brought him into the clinic when he was technically dead had been the best of his entire life. House couldn't believe such bullshit. When you were dead you were dead. There was nothing after. Wilson argued that he had no way of knowing what was in the afterlife. Wilson had always been one those people that felt if something was comforting you should let a person have it. House did not agree, and he was going to prove him wrong.

After sending an emergency page to Cameron he waited a few minutes then inserted the same knife that his patient had used into an electrical socket. He had been right. People really should quit questioning him on things. There had been nothing there after the shock.

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><p>When he woke back up Wilson was standing over him.<p>

"You are an idiot." He looked pissed. House was pretty sure that he would be. He took a moment to take inventory of his body. The only pain that really jumped out at him prominently was his hand. He flexed it a little and flinched. It was a pretty bad burn, but that was to be expected since it had been the hand holding the knife.

"I was right. That does not make me an idiot." House countered.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "You could have died, House. You have a daughter for Christ's sake!"

"HEY! Do not bring him into this." He closed his eyes and flexed his hand again, "Besides I wasn't going to die. I paged Cameron. She loves me. She wouldn't have let me die."

"You have no way of knowing that for sure."

"I didn't want to die." House admitted.

"Maybe you didn't want to die, but you didn't care if you lived or not? When are you going to realize how much you have to live for?"

House scoffed, but he didn't respond to it. He could hear the distinct click of heels coming towards his room, "You better go. This is not going to be pretty."

Wilson turned to the door and nodded to Cuddy who was standing in the doorway, "Take it easy on him. He is in pain." Wilson whispered as he passed by.

Lisa rolled her eyes and moved further into the room with her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed over her chest.

House gave her a weak smile, "Hey there boss... How is my patient?"

"Dead." She spat.

House's eyes grew wide with shock, "What?"

"Your patient died while his doctor was recovering from a suicide attempt. If that man had any family left you would be sued for gross neglegence." Her voice was cold and sharp. He wasn't sure if he had ever heard her so angry.

"It was not a suicide attempt. I was proving a point." He defended "Good thing he had no family." He attempted a joke.

"Shut up, House." She spat, "I have had enough of your bullshit. Lets just ignore for a second what a bad move this was as a doctor. Lets focus on the fact that you were willing to leave her two year old daughter without her father that she adores."

"Well if we want to get technical, you were willing to leave her without her father first." He knew from the minute it fell off his lips that it had been the wrong thing to say.

Lisa moved quick as a blink to his side and let her had slap across his face with a loud smack, "How _dare_ you! I have apologized and explained, and I refuse to do it again! I was protecting her, and now I am sure that it was the right thing! She was better off never knowing you at all then to have you come into her life then remove yourself from her life permanently and on purpose! Why the hell would you do this House? Do you not think you have a god damn thing to live for? Do you not love her at all?" She was crying now, but she didn't care and she couldn't stop, "Why isn't anything ever enough for you? I can't... I just..." She turned away from him and covered her face with one of her hands trying to calm herself.

House didn't know what hurt worse. Her tears, her words, or the slap to his face, "I love her." He whispered, "I wasn't trying to die."

She rounded back on him, "But you could have!"

"But I didn't." He pointed out.

She shook her head, "That's not good enough."

"I know I am not good for her, Cuddy. I do. I can't run after her. It will only get worse as she gets older, but I do love her." He admitted.

Lisa shook her head, "Is that what this is about? You feel bad that you can't move as easy? House she doesn't need you to be fully physically fit. She just needs you, and you were willing to take everything from her." She rubbed her hand over her tear stained face again and collapsed in a chair by his bed, "I don't know what to do."

He turned so he could keep his eyes on her, "I'm sorry." He whispered.

She looked up at him, "That's not good enough either." She stood up again unable to sit still or stay in one place. She began to pace beside his bed, "I have no idea why the hell I should let you stay around her. You are no good for her. You obviously don't care enough to put her needs above your own depression. I love you, but I don't know if I can in good conscience allow it."

He stared at her in utter shock of what she had just said, "You love me?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. It had slipped out. She hadn't even meant to say it, but she was so upset it had just fallen easily out of her mouth. She couldn't look at him so she just started pacing again, "That's not the point."

"If it is true, then it is most definitely the point."

"Love has nothing to do with it. You don't even care enough about our daughter to stop yourself from sticking a knife in an electrical socket. I definitely don't make it onto your list of people that matter." She was evading and she knew it.

He wanted to reach out and stop her, but moving was going to hurt like hell at this point, "You matter." He told her quietly.

She stopped yet again and looked at him, "I do?"

"You are Gwen's mother. We have been through this. We are family."

Her heart fell. Had she been looking to hear him say he loved her back? She was such a fool. She bit down on her bottom lip, "That's all well and good, but you still made a huge mistake."

"You're right. I was selfish. I need to start thinking of Gwen more."

She nodded, "No kidding." She shook her head "I need some time to think. I have to go." She made her hurried exit fighting off another flood of tears. She told him she loved him and gotten nothing in return. She was still just the mother of his child. Nothing more. He had almost killed himself without any regard for how it would affect her or Gwen or hell even Wilson. She needed to talk to Dr. Miller. It was going to take a lot of talking and tissues to calm her down again.

House's mind was reeling. Cuddy loved him. He had never let himself believe that she might. Did he love her? That was a complicated question. He was attracted to her for damn sure. He loved her figure, her smile, and her eyes. He loved her laugh. He loved to make her laugh. He loved her strength and her intelligence. He loved how she was with Gwen. No matter what hateful things he may have said in the past, he knew that she was an incredible mother. The more he thought the longer the list got. Even her flaws amounted to being good in their own way. Her guilt just made her a more caring person. Her stubborn nature made her able to stand up to him when he needed it. Her obsessive nature was the reason her hospital ran so damn smoothly. He saw it all. He loved it all, even if he hated to admit.

Fuck it all to hell. He loved her too.


	21. Torn In Between Here and Running Away

**A.N.: Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and alerts! I love you all!**

**I do not own.**

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><p>Figuring out that he was in love with Cuddy did not bring him any closer to figuring out what he should do. In his experience it was best not to expect good things to come to him. Other people got to be happy. Other people got to be in love. He got to live in pain and be walked out on by others. Trusting Cuddy with his heart would be a huge step. She had been his doctor for the infarction. Legally he knew that she had to do whatever Stacy said, but he felt manipulated by them both. Logically he knew she was not at fault, but it had taken him a long time to stop resenting her. Stacy he would probably always resent. Part of him was sure that he should give a relationship with Cuddy a try, but the biggest part of him was sure that it would all go wrong. Was it worth the risk? It wasn't even just them at stake here. It was Gwen as well. Then again if they were going to attempt to be a couple it should probably be while she was too young to remember. It would be less harmful to her that way if they flamed out. Emotions were fucking complicated. He needed Wilson.<p>

House had been back to work for a week since his electrocution. So far he and Cuddy had been doing the avoidance dance that was made possible by him hiding out or doing his work and going to her home before she left so he could get time in with Gwen. It wasn't a flawless plan, but it was working so far.

House left his office and cut across the balcony to Wilson's. His friend didn't seem to be in so he opted for a nap on his couch while he waited.

Wilson walked in to his office and shut the door gently behind him. When he spotted House on his couch it occurred to him that he should probably be more surprised than he was. Instead of going over to wake him up he merely opened the door again and slammed it closed loudly causing House to wake from his dreams with a start, "Morning, sunshine." He greeted as he moved to sit behind his desk.

House rubbed his eyes trying to get himself to fully wake before he sat up, "I have real emotional problems and waited ever so patiently for you to come back in and this is the thanks I get? You are so insensitive, Jimmy." He put his hand over his heart feigning hurt.

"So sorry. I was completely unaware that you were napping on my couch because you were waiting out the chance to show me your soul. By all means share away." He gestured for his friend to begin with whatever it was he needed to say.

"Well now I am not sure if I want to discuss it with you." House folded his arms over his chest to show his obstinance.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Fine. Sit there and pout. See if I care" He picked up his pen and set about the task of his paper work.

"You are just going to ignore me?"

"If you are going to act like a child, then yes I am." Wilson answered without looking up.

"Cuddy told me she loves me." House blurted out.

Wilson's head snapped up, "WHAT!"

House smirked, "See that got your attention."

Wilson shook his head, "You are such an ass. Why would you lie about that?"

"Who said I was lying? I just said it got your attention. I was right. It also happens to be true. That is really just a bonus."

Wilson stared at him in shock, "So she really did? What did you say?" He pressed.

"Well it sort of just slipped out of her when she was berating me about the whole knife in the electrical socket thing. I pressed her about it. She said it wasn't the point because she obviously didn't matter to me. I told her she did because as Gwen's mother she would always be a part of my life."

"What every woman wants to hear, 'Of course you matter. Fate has bound you to me and I can't get rid of you'." Wilson quipped with a roll of his eyes.

House rolled his eyes mockingly back at him, "It wasn't meant like THAT. Geez Wilson you make me sound insensitive to her feelings."

"No. YOU make yourself sound insensitive to her feelings because you are."

"I care about her feelings." House was a little put out that Wilson thought he didn't.

"Oh I am so sorry. I must have missed you caring in between telling her she looks like a prostitute and insulting her intelligence."

House leaned back into the couch and stared at the wall, "I happen to enjoy the fact that she flaunts all her goodies, and we all know she isn't stupid. Can't anyone take a joke."

Wilson shrugged, "I know for a fact that you are just pulling on her pigtails because you like her, but you can't blame her for thinking she doesn't matter to you." He put down his pen and laced his hands together to rest on his desk, "Do you love her?"

"I want to bang her again. Is that the same thing?" House asked pretending to look confused and innocent.

Wilson shook his head, "House you came here to talk to me because you obviously need advice. I can't give you any if you deflect the whole damn time."

House sighed and rubbed his forehead, "I might sort maybe have feelings like you are talking about, but what good has that ever done for me?"

"She isn't Stacy, House. It isn't fair for you to try and compare them. She deserves a chance."

"I could fuck it all up. Then what happens?" House was genuinely curious how Wilson thought their break up might work.

"You two will just have to figure something out if it fucks up, but why don't you consider what could happen if it did work. You could live in the same house with your daughter. You could be a family, a real one. Gwen deserves that chance just as much as Cuddy does."

House contemplated that for a moment before nodding briefly in response. Wilson was right, but he was not going to verbally acknowledge that.

After a few moments of silence House spoke up, "So I should talk to her?"

Wilson nodded, "Sure after she gets back from the conference in New York you should definitely talk to her."

This surprised House and he sat up looking a lot more alert, "She isn't here?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "House she told you about this two months ago when she agreed to go."

"How the hell am I supposed to remember something that was told to me two months ago?"

"Yes that is such an unrealistic expectation for a man who pays so much attention to her that he knows when she menstruates." Wilson shook his head in disbelief of how much of an idiot his genius friend could be, "In any case she will be back in two days."

House let this information sink in. He had been avoiding Cuddy to the point where he didn't even notice she was gone today. She probably thought that her slip of the tongue had meant nothing to him. For all he knew she could be vulnerable and some idiot at the conference might be able to take advantage of that. He had been to a few conventions with her, and he had seen the way those dip shits looked at her. Only HE was allowed to leer at her and picture her naked. No, no. If he was going to talk to her it was going to be today. They had wasted years of not facing what was right in front of them. There was no way he was going to allow one more thing stand in the way of the chance they should take, not even his own fear. They had a lot to talk about, he knew, but that was even more of a reason to get started on it now. His decision was made. He was going to New York.


	22. Shape Of My Heart

**A.N.: Because Randy asked nicely xD**

**I do not own.**

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><p>Being in New York when Gwen was at home with her parents made Lisa an absolute nervous wreck. If it was only her father she would be staying with she probably wouldn't worry that much, but no child should be subjected to Arlene Cuddy whether they were old enough to remember or not. Lisa was convinced that she would return home to find her daughter huddled in a corner in the fetal position. In reality she knew that that was not true, but it was still a thought she couldn't shake. The only thing that made her feel better was that her father was fine with her calling on every break of the different panels she attended. He would put Gwen on the phone for her, and as far as she could tell her daughter was happy and content. She hoped that House wouldn't take up the offer she had made when she told him she would be away that he could visit Gwen at her parents. There was nothing fun about Arlene and House being in the same room. It was as if the very presence of the other in the room would cause them to want to start up a snark contest. The people around them were the ones that really lost in that situation.<p>

She had begrudgingly attended the social mixer the first night of her conference. In reality she would have preferred to stay up in her hotel room watching bad tv in her jogging pants and t-shirt, but a mixture of obligation as a Dean of Medicine and the promise she had made to Dr. Miller had caused her to slip on her black silk dress and go down stairs to join the other doctors. She looked stunning, but she didn't feel stunning. The spaghetti strap black dress flowed easily over her curves and fell right above the knee showing off her calves and strappy black heels. Her hair was half up half down falling in loose curls down her back. She felt eyes on her as she made her way through the crowd, but she couldn't make herself care. She ordered a drink from the bar then retreated to the patio outside the crowded hall. It was spotted with a few couples here and there, but at least she wasn't shoulder to shoulder with others the way she was in the hall. She leaned against the railing and looked down at the street below them, the hall was three floors up. As she watched cars speed below her she let her mind wander to her meeting with Dr. Miller.

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><p><em>"He doesn't love me."<em>

_Dr. Miller raised an eyebrow, "He told you that?"_

_"He didn't need to. I told him I loved him, and he told me I mattered as Gwen's mother." She explained._

_"You told me he stuck a knife into a wall socket. He obviously has some issues. Did you expect him to pronounce his love to you?"_

_"He has ignored me every day since. I made him uncomfortable. He sees Gwen before I can get home." She shook her head. "I know we agreed that me pushing him out of Gwen's life now would do more harm than good, but apparently I already did the harm. I told him I love him, and he doesn't love me back. He is going to hide."_

_"I told you it would do more harm than good because she would more than likely end up blaming you for him not being in her life and he has not hurt her. He is still seeing Gwen. Telling him was good for you. Now it is out. If he does not return the feeling maybe you can begin to move on from him. IF you are always wondering how it might be if you got up the courage you would continue to make up excuses not to move on. Now you know."_

_She shook her head, "You make it sound easy, but it isn't. I've cared for him for so long."_

_He offered her a small smile, "I know it isn't easy, but you can't spend your entire life pining. You deserve to enjoy your life." He leaned forward in his chair letting his hands rest down on top of her chart on his lap, "Look, you have that conference this weekend. Talk to people. Try to make some sort of connection even just a friend. If you leave yourself open you never know what could happen. Just promise me that. Have fun."_

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><p>Lisa shook her head. What a lousy job she was doing of keeping her promise. She had spent so much time worried about Gwen that she hadn't done anything more than make a little small talk with the woman who had sat next to her during the panels. She was pathetic, she knew, but she missed her baby girl.<p>

She felt a tap on her shoulder. When she found herself staring into the blue green eyes of a man she had seen at one of the earlier panels. He was not much taller than her with her heels on, but he was a different kind of handsome. His features were sharp. Definitely an interesting face. His shoulders were broad, but it was hard to tell anything else under his suit. He offered her a soft smile, "I hope I'm not bugging you. You just happened to be the only one out here who wasn't coupled up and kissing like teenagers."

Lisa chuckled a little, "Yes apparently this is were all the kids at the prom come to make out."

The man smiled and held out his hand, "My name is Mark Owens."

Lisa took it and shook it, "Lisa Cuddy."

He drew his hand back and leaned his right side against the railing, "I think it is only natural to ask about your specialty since this is a medical conference."

She pushed a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear, "Technically Endocrinology, but I don't practice much anymore. I am the Dean of Medicine at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey."

He raised an eyebrow at that, "Really? That is impressive. It sounds lame to admit that I am just an Oncologist."

She shook her head, "Oncology is pretty impressive. I couldn't imagine taking it as my specialty."

Instead of responding he took off his suit coat and handed it to her, "I can't take it anymore. You look like you are freezing."

She hadn't even registered the cool breeze, but judging by the bumps on her arms her body obviously had. She had been about to accept the coat when she felt an arm circle her shoulders, "Honey I have been looking for you everywhere."

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><p>House had broken numerous speed limits getting himself from Princeton to New York. He had stopped briefly at his apartment to get a bag and fill it with clothes for his hopefully two day stay. It had barely taken anything to get Wilson to tell him what hotel the conference was at. Wilson apparently had high hopes for his friends getting together. He had no idea what he was going to say to Cuddy, but he knew he had to do this. He hadn't been willing to take another chance on Stacy, but Wilson was right. Cuddy was not Stacy and she deserved her own chance. He didn't know how he would deal if they didn't work out, but he couldn't focus on that.<p>

Once at the hotel he stole a name tag off the table in front of the hall and snuck on in. He had put on a black suit with a white button down shirt. He wasn't about to put on a tux for this, but he figured he would look halfway decent. He looked in vain around the hall for Cuddy before trying the patio. He found her there chatting with some guy. She looked incredible. Her body was a masterpiece and even after all these years he was still in awe of it. He was pulled out of his internal praises of her figure by that random guy taking off his coat. Oh he was smooth. Men were such God damn vultures. He wondered how was ever going to be able to leave her alone for even a minute.

He limped over and slipped his arm around her shoulders, "Honey I've been looking for you everywhere." He was talking to her, but his eyes were narrowed on the stranger. He watched as the man's demeanor went from confident to uncomfortable.

Mark cleared his throat and drew his hand back, "Hi, I'm Mark."

House nodded, "Miguel Armentar." He answered pointing to his name tag.

Cuddy had obviously been pulled out of her shock and looked up at him with a disbelieving gaze, "Miguel? Really?"

House smiled broadly, "Yes I am really here, love bunny! I am so sorry I was late. Stuck on the toilet. You know how it goes."

Mark cleared his throat again, "It was nice to meet you both. I think I am just going to go." He walked off quickly obviously weirded out by the turn of events.

Cuddy extracted herself from House's grip and stepped away, "What are you doing here?"

House shoved his hands in his pockets, "We need to talk."

"It couldn't have waited?" She asked with a huff.

"No." He stared at her, his demeanor completely serious.

She studied him for a second then gave up with a sigh, "Fine. Come on Miguel." She took his arm and led him away from the function to go up to her room. She was fairly sure that if he was this serious that it was probably a personal matter.

"Gracias." He responded with a smile. He hadn't figured she would let him get her alone, but this would probably play to his advantage.

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><p>Once in the room she stood in the middle of the room with her arms folded again, "What's going on?"<p>

"Can't a guy get comfortable first?" He asked as he kicked off his shoes and sat down on her bed.

"Do not get comfortable here House!" She fussed, "We are talking and then you are leaving."

He rolled his eyes, "You are so uptight."

"Spit it out, House!" She snapped losing her patience fast.

He let a moment of silence pass before he spoke up, "I've been thinking about what you said." He admitted.

"I say a lot of things. Care to narrow that down?"

"You love me." He clarified in a quiet voice.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "It was just a slip of the tongue."

He pushed himself up off the bed and walked over to her, "Don't pretend you didn't mean it."

"I didn't." She was pulling up her walls so high he felt like he could even physically see it. Ignoring her 'slip' had been the wrong thing to do. She was hurt.

"You did." He insisted, getting into her personal space.

She turned her back on him and walked towards the window, "You can not tell me how I feel House!"

He wasn't deterred. He moved up behind her and placed his hands on her hips. He dipped his head down to the crook of her neck and rubbed his cheek against it letting his stubble graze her, "You love me." He whispered and smiled when he felt her shiver from a mixture of his words and the sensation caused from his stubble. He also felt her trying to pull away, but he held tight onto her hips, "And I love you too." He added, his words barely audible.

Lisa gasped and turned to look at him in complete shock, "You?"

He nodded a little. He wasn't saying it again just yet. It had taken everything in him to do it the first time.

She fought internally over what to say or do. There was so much to discuss. This was complicated, but she couldn't find it in her to talk mostly because he had taken it upon himself to kiss her.

It was a slow kiss. He was taking the time to explore her mouth when he hadn't in the past. He made a mental note of the taste that would ever be associated with Cuddy.

She turned to face him pressing her body tight against his. Her hands ran into his hair and his ran down to her ass. Even though the kiss was sweet, he was never going to pass up a chance to grab on her ass.

Clothes peeled from their bodies one article at a time. Hands skimmed over newly exposed skin touching as if they had never done this before. When House squeezed her breast and rubbed her nipple with his thumb Cuddy moaned in appreciation and started to move her hands more quickly to get his pants off. House pulled away to take hold of her wrists, "Slow down, Cuddy. I'm not going anywhere." She stared at him stunned by his statement. He wasn't going to leave when this was over. He wanted this. It was all new feelings to her. She let him lead her to the bed and she laid down across it upon his request. He removed his remaining clothes then moved to sit on the bed by her feet.

He took up her left foot and started to kiss up her leg from her ankle. When he neared her inner thigh she took a deep breath. He was very close to the most intimate part of her and she nearly trembled in anticipation. Instead of indulging himself he moved back down to kiss up her other leg. She closed her eyes and arched her back when she got to her other inner thigh, "House..." She didn't want to beg, but damn it she would if she had too. Between their kissing earlier and the attention he was lavishing on her now she was soaking wet. She had not been with a single person since Derrek. She needed him again. He had always been the man she compared her other lovers to. No one had ever done the same for her and now she had a chance to have that again. She needed him.

He took mercy on her and used his fingers to spread her lips apart. He used his tongue to lap up her juices and stimulate her clit. He moaned in approval of both the taste of her and how wet she was. This was the first time he had taken the time to taste her, and she did not disappoint.

She moaned and bucked her hips as waves of pleasure rolled through her. It wasn't long before she was shaking from her first orgasm. Why was it that it had always been such a long time since she had sex when House finally took her? She didn't have much time to contemplate that. House kissed his way up her abdomen, being sure to cover each breast in kisses and taking time to run his tongue over each nipple before reaching her mouth. He kissed her deeply and had her completely distracted as he slipped himself inside her. It was a quick moment and it had Lisa breaking the kiss to moan loudly, "Oh God House!" His only response was to grunt his approval of her tight walls surrounding him. His thrusts were slow and gentle. He took his time letting his hands run over her body as he moved inside her and she did the same. They were not fucking. He was making love to her.

They continued to gently kiss and move together until their bodies could no longer take it and they climaxed. House stayed on top of her and inside of her continuing to kiss her lazily until his erection had gone away fully and he rolled off to the side. Immediately he pulled her into his arms her back to his front spooning fully against her, "I love how you call me God." Of course the first thing he was going to say just had to be that.

She rolled her eyes, "It has been so long since I had any I would have called anyone God."

He pinched her arm playfully, "No talking about sex with other men while you are naked with me."

"Setting down ground rules?" She teased.

He shook his head and kissed her shoulder, "No. Not tonight. Plenty of time for rules and talking tomorrow."

His hand slid down her front to touch her, and she knew that there was no way in hell they were going to discuss anything of significance tonight. She was pretty ok with that.


	23. What If?

**A.N.: I am glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter! Appreciated all the reviews, alerts, and favorites!**

**I do not own.**

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><p>It seemed to Lisa that her alarm was going off after only being asleep for a few moments. Why the hell was she so tired? The answer came to her when she went to lean over and turn her alarm off. The weight of House's arm and leg that were draped over her reminded her of his presence and of what exactly had kept her up so late. She smiled and blushed at the memory. She had no idea he could be so insatiable, but that was only because they had never taken the chance to truly enjoy each other. They had rectified that last night and then some. He had made love to her till she was so tired that it felt like every muscle in her body had turned to jello. She didn't even want to consider what kind of pain his leg would be in today because of it, but she hoped that he would deem their actions last night worth the pain he might feel today. She had been right when she thought that they would not get any talking done, but she didn't mind. They would talk today, she would be sure of it, but first she had to get to her conference.<p>

"Are you going to turn that damn thing off are what?" House grumbled, pulling her out of her thoughts and reminding her that she still needed to silence the annoying device.

"Sorry." She muttered as she stretched the final few inches to turn it off.

House immediately tightened his hold on her and pulled her back to him. She attempted to wriggle out of his hold to no avail, "Come on, I have to get ready." This only made him hold on tighter which caused Lisa to groan in frustration, "Seriously, let go! I can't stay with you all day."

"You need to stay with me." He protested. He wanted to keep her in bed with him where she belonged, "If you stay we can talk later, and by talk I mean do it. And by do it I mean fuck. You get the picture."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "We 'did it' so much last night that I think even my vagina is tired." She pushed on his arm to try to break free, "Let me go, please. Just give me till noon. We can have lunch, and I can skip my final panel. We can talk then, and by talk I mean talk. Seriously."

He sighed and begrudgingly let her go, "Fine, but I am not happy about it. You had better be back here at twelve sharp woman."

"Yes, daddy." She laughed when House finally opened his eyes to give her a glare.

"Unless you are saying that in the dirty way, I don't want to hear it."

She leaned over him and placed a quick kiss on his lips, "Just go back to sleep. I will be back here before you know it." He gave her an affirmative grunt and she left the bed to quickly get ready for the eight o'clock panel.

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><p>It was impossible to concentrate on the panel when she knew she had House laying in wait upstairs for her. After forty minutes of trying to force herself to pay attention she just gave up and let her mind wander. Why did he finally decide to let his feelings be known? He had told her he loved her, but did he want a relationship? Would he have said anything at all if he hadn't? Was he really over Stacy? If they started something and Stacy showed back up, would he leave her in favor of Stacy? What would Dr. Miller say when she admitted that she slept with House before they even got a chance to talk things out? Talk about a bad idea. Then again, she was a grown woman. Specifically she was a grown woman who hadn't had sex in ages. She deserved to have a little fun even if they ended up not working out. They had had sex twice before and managed to have a semi normal relationship. If it turned out that they were unable to come to some sort of understanding in the relationship department she was pretty much convinced that they could move on as if last night had not happened.<p>

At noon she made a call to her father to check on Gwen before going to meet House.

"Hey hun." Douglas answered cheerily.

"Hi Dad." She answered back with a smile playing on her lips.

Douglas chuckled, "I can hear that smile all the way back here. You are in a considerably better mood. What happened? Or should I be asking who?"

She was glad that her father couldn't seen the blush that just rose in her cheeks. Her father had always been able to read her like a book. It normally wasn't a big deal, but she was extremely uncomfortable with how he was so alright with letting her know he assumed she had had sex, "Can't I just have a good day without being interrogated?"

"Of course you can, but I am sure there is more to it. I suppose I won't pry." Douglas was like that. He could let things go, knowing that his daughter would come to him in time if something really good had happened to her, "Gwen is doing well. Would you like to talk to her?"

"Yes please!" She waited till she could hear her daughter take the phone and assumed she had pressed it to her ear even if she hadn't said anything yet, "Hey there, baby girl."

"Hi Momma!" Gwen greeted excitedly, "I had chip and a sanwich!" She told her proudly. Obviously this was the highlight of her day so far.

"Did you? Well I am glad to hear they are feeding you. Are you having fun?"

"Yup!" She confirmed, "Granma say I smart even if you barely wif me." It was rather obvious that Arlene had been allowed to spend much to much time around Gwen. Lisa was seething, but she figured she would wait to fuss at her mother about saying things like that around her impressionable two year old when she got home.

"You are incredibly smart, baby. I miss you so much, but I will be home tomorrow, ok?" Her heart ached again with the knowledge that it would be yet another night before she would see Gwen again, but she pacified herself knowing that she would use this time to sort out things with the father of her daughter.

"Ok Momma! I miss you lots! Love you!" Gwen made a big smacking noise letting her mom know she was sending her a kiss, and Lisa instantly mimicked it.

"Love you too! Bye!" She reluctantly shut her phone and put it away. By this time she had made it up to her room and used the electronic key to open the door. The light turned green, and she turned the knob to let herself in. The first thing she noticed was that the bed was empty. Her heart dropped. Had he seriously left? Hadn't they had an understanding that she would come back so that they could talk?

"Cuddy that better be you, otherwise we have some rude housekeepers who do not knock before entering!" House bellowed this from the bathroom sincerely hoping that it really was Cuddy.

Lisa let out a breath that she hadn't even been aware she was holding. She felt like such an idiot. She should have considered the possibility that he might have been in the bathroom, but past experiences had taught her that if anyone was capable of taking off without any sort of warning it was Greg House, "It's me. What do you want to eat?"

"I ordered some room service. I figured that we could put it on the hospital's dime."

Lisa rolled her eyes and moved to sit on the bed, "That is going to be on my dime, thank you very much. The hospital is not paying for my food expenses."

"That is lame, Cuddy. As Dean they should pay for everything. You should lodge a complaint with your boss. Oh wait you are the boss. Sucks to be you."

"Shut up, and get out here." She demanded, completely done with this back and forth about expenses through the bathroom door.

A minute later House stepped out of the bathroom. His hair was still wet and he was dressed in jeans and a black sabbath t-shirt. She wondered how he had gotten a change of clothes, but he was quick to answer her unspoken question, "It was a good thing you left the spare key out for me. I had to go down to my car and get my bag."

"So you knew you would be staying?"

He answered with a shrug, "I hoped."

Lisa searched his eyes, but found him impossible to read. She had always felt that if there was ever a way to understand what he was feeling it would be by looking into those baby blues, but there was too much lurking there now, "What are you hoping for here?"

"Lunch." He deflected with a smirk.

She shook her head, "I'm serious, House. I need to know what you want."

"Can't I just want you?" He made it sound so simple. It wasn't.

"You can, but we can't be just a casual fling. We have a kid, and to raise her in a house were her mother is casually having sex with her father from time to time. She deserves more than that. And what about Stacy? Do you still love her?"

House stepped over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, "Slow down Cuddy. First off, who said I wanted a fling? Second, a part of me is always going to love Stacy, but we have no chance anymore. She left again, and I don't want her to come back. I don't even know if I wanted her back when she was back. She is not even close to being an issue for us."

She was relieved to hear what he had to say about Stacy, even if something still prickled in the back of her mind making her wonder if he was really being honest, "If this isn't a fling what is it?" She pushed.

He sighed and let go of her shoulders, "I told you I loved you. Normally that is a precurser to a relationship right?" He was uncomfortable with her pushing. He really wished that they could just move on from this knowing what they both wanted without actually having to say it, "Since you are the one obviously obsessing, why don't you tell me what you want from this?" Letting her talk would be much easier.

Lisa took a deep breath and rubbed her forehead, "I want to try. I think we both need to try. To see if we can make it work, but I need to know that you are really willing to try. This has always been about the three of us, but if we are together I am not going to let you slide like I did with the knife thing. We are going to have to be important. We have to factor into your decisions. This can not be just you. It should never have been just you."

House took this all in in silence. He knew she was right. He spent so much time thinking about him and his pain. He should have been thinking about Cuddy and Gwen, "I know.. I can try." That was really all he could promise her. She would never know what he lived with everyday. She would never know what it was like to be stuck in his own personal misery and pain for so long, but he would never want her to know that. He would always want her to be happy. Specifically he would want her to be happy with him, and he was going to try his damnedest to make it at way, "I can't promise you perfect Cuddy. I will never be perfect. I will still be an ass, but I want you. I want this. I promise you to try."

Her smile could have lit up the whole god damn room. She felt like she was floating. Another woman might have been mad that he wasn't trying to promise her the world, but she knew that this was the absolute best she would ever get out of House. She was pleased with his open honesty. He hadn't deflected. He had been straight forward. What more could she have asked for him? She got up off the bed so that she could stand up on her toes and place a gentle kiss on his lips, "If you will try, then I will try. If we are both putting in our best effort, I think we can make this work."

He simply nodded as an answer. Inwardly he was excited and happy, but he would only let that show with a small smile. Lisa Cuddy was officially his. He didn't need to do a happy dance about it. He knew he was happy, and he was sure she did too. She was one of two people who could ever attempt to read him and do it efficiently for the most part.

A knock on the door signaled their lunch, "I'll get that."

"Good I'm starving." He let her pass and took a seat on the bed. For such a complicated subject, their conversation had been pretty simple. It wasn't like they could talk through every possibility. All they could really do was wait for each problem and deal with it as they came. They had at least come to the understanding that tomorrow they would be going home as a couple. For now that was enough.


	24. Happy Birthday My Baby

**A.N.: I do not own!**

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><p><em>September 26, 2003<em>

The decision that they should be together seemed to be the hardest part of their relationship so far. If they could set aside the worrying over what might come they actually got along fairly well, for them anyway. At work they still fought like cats and dogs. The only real difference there was House's attempts to cop a feel or steal a kiss. They had reported their relationship to Human Resources, but that didn't mean that Lisa was always going to let him get away with being to physical at work. She was a professional after all, and there was a time and place for displays of affection. Not that that knowledge stopped House from plotting a way to get her to agree to have sex with him on hospital grounds. At home they were simply more at ease. He was at Lisa's house almost every night staying the night most nights. Gwen was over the moon with the amount of attention she was receiving from both parents. She enjoyed having her father there in the mornings. She thought it was funny to watch mommy fuss at him about being lazy and making her late. House for his part enjoyed the random nights when Gwen would have a bad dream and make it into Lisa's bedroom. With Lisa acting as a barrier between them she could stay in bed with them and House could sleep with his arm around Cuddy and his hand on Gwen's chest. A part of him was completely content with the little family life they had taken on, but he made a point to complain about Cuddy 'grabbing him by the balls and domesticating him'. Lisa let him talk like that, but she ignored it with a roll of her eyes. She knew better. She had never seen him smile as much as he had been lately. This was as close to happy as Greg House would ever get.

On the day of Gwen's birthday party Lisa went up to the fourth floor to fetch House. They had carpooled today, so he would need to leave when she did. She opened the glass door and walked on in, "Come on, House. I still have to get the cake and set up all the decorations and snacks."

House groaned and stretched back in his chair, "Why are you making such a big deal out of this? You have been doing this since her first birthday. I told you then, and I will tell you now, she won't remember it." He was being a pain simply to do it. He actually wanted his daughter to have these birthday parties. He had not had much of that growing up. All of his memories had been tainted by the presence of his dad, a man who believed celebrating birthdays was a frivolous waste and made sure to let everyone know exactly what he thought. He refused to be like that. He would give Cuddy a hard time for fun, but when the time came he would behave himself. He enjoyed the knowledge that he had been there for each and every birthday of his baby girl so far. His time had been perfect when he made his way into the life of the Cuddy women.

Lisa rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently, "And I will say this again, I don't care! We are going to celebrate Gwen's birthday with or without your sorry ass, so either bring me home so I can get my car and do this alone or come along for the ride. Either way this is happening." It was obvious that she wasn't in the mood for his games. She always got this way when she felt like her precious plans might be a little off. It was the part of her that dominated most often. Her need to control things.

House had been about to respond with a smirk when Cameron came through the door holding a file, "I need you to sign off on the chart for our last case."

House rolled his eyes, "Haven't you perfected the art of forging my name yet?" He hated paperwork, but more than that he liked giving people a hard time. Cameron was one of his favorite people to give a hard time because of her obvious crush on him. He also knew that it made the green eyed monster in Cuddy stir when he gave Cameron an extra hard time. She probably thought that he was taking the 'tug on the pigtails' approach to courting Cameron the way he did with her. Sure her logical side would probably insist that he would never cheat, but she would wonder. He knew how her mind worked, and he liked to mess with it.

Cameron just set the file down and stood beside him, "That would be illegal. Just sign, please."

House propped his chin up on his hand and looked up at her with innocent eyes, "And what will you do for me if I do?"

Cameron felt a smile tugging at her lips, "I won't do a thing, but you will get the satisfaction of a job properly finished."

Lisa, who had been standing impatiently with her arms crossed over her chest and her weight leaned to her right leg finally spoke up, "Sign the damn chart, House so we can go get ready for our daughter's party." She could have said Gwen's party, but she felt the need to remind the younger woman that not only was this man spoken for he also had a child. She then focused her attention on Cameron, "Are you coming to the party Dr. Cameron?" She had told House to invite his team so that they would have more bodies.

House decided to stop messing with Cuddy and Cameron for the time being and picked up a pen to sign the chart, "Of course she is coming. So is the black one and the wombat. They are family after all." He closed the chart and pretended to wipe away a tear.

Cameron picked up the chart and ignored his over the top theatrics, "Speaking of family, your mom called earlier. Something about being in town next week. She wants to visit you."

Lisa perked up at this. She had never even thought about his parents. She had only met them once, and she knew that House hated his father. It had never occured to her to ask him if he told them about Gwen, "Do they want to see Gwen?"

House shot Cameron a brief glare as he got up out of the chair and grabbed his back pack and cane, "Come on, Cuddle muffin. Lets go pick up our daughter's party junk." He walked over to Cuddy and placed a kiss on her cheek partially to calm down her green eyed monster and partially to distract her from the news of his parents. He thought it had worked when she gave him a warm smile and took hold of his hand as they walked out (all of which left Cameron seething), but the moment they were in the elevator she was asking again

"Do your parents want to see Gwen?"

House took a deep breath and shook his head, "I am sure if they knew, Mom would be all over it. Dad however would be all over my ass about not being married to you and being a bad influence on a minor." He let go over her hand when the doors opened and he walked out, "Look, I am not ashamed of her so don't go there. I just don't want my dad anywhere near her. If it was just my mom it would be different, but it isn't."

Lisa immediately stepped to meet his pace and grabbed his hand again. She had no idea what his dad had done to earn this hate, but this was not his normal 'I hate you because you breath' hate. This was deeper. She could see it in his eyes. Obviously this was a much bigger issue than just dislike of him as a person, "House, it is up to you what to tell your parents, but eventually down the road Gwen will be asking questions about your parents. I won't let you lie to her. Also, as a mother I am telling you now that if your mother randomly finds out one day she is going to be completely heartbroken. Even now it is going to nearly kill her that she didn't find out for two years. We can both keep your dad away from Gwen if he comes around, but I think your mother deserves to know. It is your decision though. After this I won't bring it up anymore." House turned his head to look at her. To see if she was serious. She was. He saw nothing but honesty and concern in her eyes.

He stopped for a minute and turned her to look at him, "I will think about it, but don't think I am just protecting Gwen. He would be a complete ass to you too. He could hurt you." His eyes pleaded with her to understand that he couldn't stand it if his sorry excuse for a father brought her pain. He cared, and this was as close as he was coming to telling her that.

Her smile instantly broadened and she leaned forward to kiss him briefly, "I am a big girl. I can take it, and I am sure if he goes too far you will drive him out. I trust you." She wanted him to know just how much faith she actually had in him.

A faint smile crept onto his lips as well, and he gave her hand a squeeze, "Come on. We have a party to tend to." He wasn't sure just yet what he would do about his parental situation, but he felt better about considering having them meet Gwen knowing that Cuddy was on his side.

* * *

><p>The party went down without a hitch. Gwen played happily with her cousins and kept all of the adult guests smiling. The guest list was simple. Douglas, Arlene, Julia, Julia's husband, Julia's two kids, Wilson, and House's team. Gwen had loved all of her gifts, but she had a special place in her heart for the child size piano from her father. It was a pure white miniature version of the black stand up piano that her mother had in the living room. Lisa had protested that it had to have cost too much, but House waved it off and informed her that it was never too soon to learn. It would be many years before her hands were big enough to learn on an actual piano. This was a nice place to start. She gave up her protests when she realized that House just wanted to share his love of music with their daughter. How could she say no to that? After all the times she had seen House sit at the piano with Gwen at his side staring in awe as her father moved his hands seamlessly across the ivory keys she knew that her daughter would want to share that with him.<p>

After all the guests had left and Lisa had sufficiently cleaned up she collapsed on the couch next to House who was watching tv with Gwen on his good thigh. He smiled at her and slipped an arm around her placing a kiss on her cheek.

Gwen witnessed this and scrunched up her nose, "No daddy." She fussed and carefully climbed over onto her mother's lap, mindful of House's leg even at her young age. She snuggled herself against Cuddy's chest, "My mommy." She reached out and tried to push his arm away as she had done many times before. It was a game she had come to play with House. Both of them possessive over Cuddy. Both not really wanting to drive the other away. It was their idea of fun. After all, it was never too young to learn to win in a power struggle.

House moved his arm tighter around Cuddy and gave his daughter a defiant look, "Just because you are the birthday girl doesn't mean you get to win at everything. This is my mommy. I loved her first." He leaned over and placed his head on Cuddy's shoulder for affect.

Lisa sighed dramatically and raised her eyes to the ceiling, "Can't we all just get along? There is enough of me for both of you to love."

Gwen pushed on House's face now trying to get it away, "No! Go away daddy! Mommy loves me mostest!" She gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and met her with big pleading eyes, "Right mommy?"

Lisa felt her heart melt and she threw her arms around her daughter in a tight hug, "Oh baby, mommy loves you completely."

House pouted and pulled on the sleeve of her shirt in protest, "Hey!"

Lisa rolled her eyes and slipped one of her arms around his waist drawing him even closer. She kissed him gently, "I might love you a little."

House smirked and rested his forehead against hers with one eyebrow raised in question of her statement, "A little?"

Lisa thought back on the last month and even just the last day. She loved him so much more than just a little. Sometimes she felt as if her heart might burst. Dr. Miller was working with her trying to keep her realistic. He tried to remind her of all that could go wrong, but she didn't need him to do that. She knew that it might all go to hell, but her heart wasn't listening. They were in such a good place. She felt perfect. There was no telling how long it would last, but for now she was grateful and she would appreciate. So with all this in mind she kissed him one more time and answered, "Completely." She promised with the same thing she had told Gwen. The two blue eyed creatures showering her with attention had her whole heart, and she was positive that they always would.

Gwen was not yet done with the game and pushed on House again, "Dadddyyyy!" She whined not happy that she seemed to be losing.

House had been caught up in his moment with Cuddy. He would never grow tired of the reminders of her love for him. He was not big on sharing his own feelings, but he was open to her sharing hers. She loved him. It was almost an overwhelming feeling. He knew he didn't deserve it. He had hurt her on multiple occasions. He had blamed her. He had walked away from her with barely even a warning. Hell he had walked away with absolutely no warning, but he was trying.

House laughed and put his free arm around Gwen, "How about a truce? We can both love mommy. Lets go get you to sleep. It has been a long day."

Gwen conceded and moved to position herself between her parents, "I love you boths!" She was looking for kisses, and they both knew it. Together they leaned in and kissed her on either cheek promising her that they loved her too.

* * *

><p>House let Cuddy set about the task of getting her to fall asleep. He had told her his leg hurt, which it did, but he also had to place a call. Cuddy's words from earlier still played in his mind. He didn't want to have to decide what to tell Gwen one day about her grandparents. He also didn't want to hurt his mother anymore than this already would. The phone call was short. He made lunch plans to meet with his parents their first day in.<p>

Cuddy changed into one of his t-shirts before she climbed in bed to meet him. She could tell that he was thinking, his look of concentration was one of her favorites to see playing across his features. She snuggled up against his side and rested a hand on his chest, "Something wrong?"

He turned his head so that he could look at her, "I called my parents. We are going to have lunch Tuesday."

She nodded a little and moved the hand that was on his chest up to his face to stroke his cheek, "Are you going to tell them?"

He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, "Well since the two of you will be with me I guess they are bound to figure it out."

She couldn't fight the smile that made its way onto her lips. She had been hoping that he would want them to know, but she knew she couldn't force him, "Are you sure?"

He nodded, "Yeah. We will deal with this as it comes. If he is too much of an ass we can just tell him not to come back." In his heart he knew it wasn't that simple, but he let Cuddy believe that. She seemed to have bought it if he could judge by the way she had leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

><p>Even after they had made love and Cuddy had been passed out naked and still sprawled across him sleep still would not find him. Flashes of his past, his abuse, ran through his mind. The man who had left whelps across his back from a belt was the same man he was inviting into his daughter's life. Sleeping outside and ice baths, things that John had made seem like they were common place, would he try to discipline his daughter the same way? He sure as hell would never be left alone with Gwen. House just couldn't shake the feeling that this was such a bad idea. He hoped it was a simple as Cuddy made it seem to be, but he rarely got what he hoped for.<p> 


	25. Where is the Love?

**A.N.: An attempt to write for Maybe I'm Amazed completely flamed out, so I am adding on to this one again instead. Someone please pray to the Fanfiction gods for some assistance for my other fic, please.**

**I do not own.**

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><p>House could not believe he had actually agreed to see his parents. He wasn't ready for this. It had been years since he had seen them. They had come to see him shortly after his surgery, but they had not stayed long. If there was ever a time that House had been inclined to believe in a higher power it was when they mercifully stayed only two days. His mother had seen that his father's presence was not exactly aiding the healing process, so she took pity on him and convinced John to go home. That had been when Cuddy first met them too, though it had been under much different circumstances. She had been his boss, and he had been with Stacy at the time. Blythe had liked Stacy very much, but really Blythe would have liked anyone who dared to give her baby boy a fighting chance at a happy life with someone. John, however, had spent the entire time trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with her since she was with Greg. He figured that his father would probably do the same thing to Cuddy. Actually it would probably be worse with Cuddy since they had Gwen.<p>

After a bit of dicussion both he and Cuddy had decided it would be best for the two of them to meet them for lunch first, then if his parents agreed they could go out for supper and bring Gwen. House had a fair bit of explaining to do as did Cuddy, and neither of them wanted Gwen to hear any of it. When it came to their daughter it was best not to assume that she either wouldn't remember or understand. Gwen was a bright girl, and there was really no telling how much she would actually retain.

Pressure on his hand brought House out of his thoughts. He looked down to where his hand was joined with Cuddy's on the middle console of her car then raised his gaze to meet her eyes. She looked amazing. Instead of one of her regular power suits she had opted to wear a red, cotton off the shoulder dress that hugged her in all the right ways with a pair of black pumps. Her hair was pulled back into some sort of twist against the back of her neck. House had never really understood why women spent so much time on their hair, but he could at least admit that she looked nice.

Lisa gestured with her free hand towards the restaurant, "House, we have been here for ten minutes. They will probably start to wonder if you bailed on them if we keep them waiting any longer." She could tell he was nervous, which was why she let him stay lost in his thoughts for so long, but they couldn't put this off forever. They needed to get in there.

House took a deep breath and shook his head, "Can't we just bail? We can take a family photo, slap it on a Christmas card this winter, and they can find out that way. At least John won't be able to act like the huge dick he is from three states away."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "He can still call and act like a dick."

"I won't answer."

Lisa took her hand back from his and opened the door, "Enough, House. We are doing this." She was not going to fight with him any longer. To her, she felt like they owed it to Gwen to at least try to get her other set of grandparents involved in her life. At least this way if she had Blythe it would make up for Arlene's less than stellar role as a grandmother. She could have a good grandparent on either side of he family.

House sighed and extracted himself from the car. When he got around to her side he silently took hold of her hand again. It was almost as if he was trying to draw the strength to survive this meeting through her.

It only took a few minutes for the hostess to bring them to their table. John and Blythe House were waiting, glancing through their menus. When she saw them Blythe immediately got up and hugged her son. John, however, stayed at the table and eyed Cuddy having noted the fact that they were holding hands when they arrived.

After properly greeting her son, Blythe turned her attention on Cuddy, "You are Lisa, right? I believe we met the last time we were in New Jersey."

Lisa nodded, "We did. It is a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. House."

John spoke up, curiosity having won him over, "Aren't you his boss?"

House rolled his eyes knowing exactly why his father asked that, "She also happens to be my girlfriend. Convenient, right?" He moved to sit in the chair that would be facing opposite his father. Normally he would have sat across from his mother, but he didn't want Cuddy to have to sit across from him. He logically knew it wouldn't matter much, but something in him still felt better putting as much space between them as he possibly could.

Blythe's face automatically lit up, "Girlfriend? Oh how wonderful! Please sit down, dear." She gestured for Cuddy to sit down, "Tell me how long have you two been together?"

Lisa sat down and picked up the menu, "It will be two months in a few weeks."

John chuckled and looked over at House, "That is a surprisingly long time for a woman to put up with you."

Before House could say anything Lisa spoke up, "Actually he puts up with me more than I put up with him. I have a bad habit of being a bit of a wet blanket. I get so caught up in work, but Ho.. Greg makes me remember I need to have a good time too." She moved her hand up to his arm and rubbed it affectionately. She knew that he knew she would normally never talk that way, and that it was pretty much bullshit but she didn't care. John House was already pissing her off, and it had been partially true. House was nothing if not fun. Under the table she felt House's hand on her thigh giving her an appreciative squeeze. At least he seemed to get the picture that she was here for him.

Blythe was eating it all up, thrilled to see a woman with her son that seemed to appreciate him so much, "Well that is wonderful. All work and no play is not a life worth living."

John snorted, "Please. He should be taking lessons from her. The boy never did have a good work ethic. I tried to teach him one, but he was so obstinate."

House rolled his eyes, "Was that what that was? Trying to teach me work ethic? I must have missed the memo because I didn't get the impression that that was what you were doing at all."

Blythe raised her hand to John's shoulder to keep him from responding, "Can you two not do this now?" She pleaded, "Greg, tell me what you have been up to."

They got a brief reprieve to place their orders when the waiter walked up then House looked at Cuddy receiving a nod to prompt him to go ahead and tell them, "Well.. We just celebrated our daughter's birthday last week."

John choked on his water, "You're what?"

Blythe's mouth hung open in shock, "Greg, what are you talking about?"

Cuddy spoke up for House, "We have a daughter. She is three. Her name is Gwen." She took a deep breath then soldiered on, "We spent one night together a bit after Stacy left him, then I found out I was pregnant after he left for California. I was afraid he wasn't in the right place to have Gwen in his life, so for eleven months of her life she didn't know about him. When he came looking for a job at my hospital, he found out about Gwen. He has been a constant in her life ever since, and now that we are both in good places we decided to be together." She tried her best to explain their situation in the simplest terms, but she braced herself for the backlash.

Blythe looked right at House, "Why didn't you tell us?"

House looked down at the table, "I wasn't ready for either of you to know." It was technically true, but he was holding back a lot. He didn't want to embarrass Cuddy or Blythe by starting a verbal war with his father in a crowded restaurant.

John shook his head, "It took you two years to decide you were ready for us to know? That is pathetic Greg. We have the right to know we have a granddaughter!"

"Well you know now." House practically spit the words at him.

Blythe cleared her throat and placed her hand back up on John's shoulder to keep him from saying anything more again, "Can we meet her?"

Cuddy smiled at the older lady and nodded, "Tonight if you want. We could go somewhere family friendly, and you can meet her."

Blythe returned the smile, "We would like that very much."

The rest of lunch was tense, but the two women tried their best to keep at least some semblance of conversation going.

* * *

><p>House drove with Gwen to the restaurant to meet his folks for dinner. Lisa was running behind in a board meeting, but she promised to meet them their as soon as she could.<p>

Gwen was still trying to understand why exactly she had to put on one of her nice dresses. Usually she was not allowed to go out when her parents went for grown up dinners, "Daddy who's gunna be at this place?" She asked from her seat in the back of the car.

"My parents." He answered flatly trying to focus on getting them to the restaurant without getting into a wreck.

"Are they my granparents like mommy's parents are?" She asked curiously.

House sighed, "Yeah I guess."

Gwen was not used to such short replies from her father and scrunched up her face in confusion, "Are you mad at me, daddy?"

House parked the car then closed his eyes. He mentally kicked himself for letting her think that he was mad at her. He turned around and looked her in the eyes, "No, squirt. I'm not mad. I am just nervous. I don't see my parents very often."

Gwen gave him a big smile, "Don't be nervous, daddy! They love you like you love me cause they you parents." She seemed so sure of this fact simply because she believed this was how a parent should be. A part of him was happy that he had been a part of making her feel that way because she knew he loved her, but the other part was pissed that he had left her so unprepared for disappointment. She shouldn't have to learn at such a young age that sometimes people were just bad. He was positive that she would soon find that out in the form of John House.

House smiled back at her and helped her out of her seat. When they got inside John and Blythe were waiting for them by the door.

John gestured to the hostess, "She said it might be a bit." He looked down at Gwen, "This her?"

Gwen smiled up at both her parents, Blythe had moved to John's side to greet the girl, "Hi, I'm Gwen. I'm tree years old." She recited these things to her grandparents proudly and held up three fingers to be sure they got the picture about her age.

Blythe squealed with delight, "She is absolutely adorable!" She bent down and held her arms out, "Can I hug you, sweetheart?"

Gwen nodded excitedly and moved into her grandma's hugs, "I like hugs! What's your name?"

Blythe hugged her tightly and tried to fight back tears of happiness over her new granddaughter, "You can call me Oma." She decided to take on the name Greg used for his grandmother who had passed many years before.

"Ok." Gwen drew back and looked up at her grandfather expecting him to tell her what she could call him.

John cleared his throat and fidgeted a little, "You can call me grandpa." He was not about to let that kid call him Opa or pops or something equally ludicrous.

Lisa burst through the doors still dressed in the same outfit from earlier, "I am so sorry I am late." She kissed House briefly then focused on his parents, "My board meeting lasted much longer than I thought it would."

"Don't worry dear. We understand. We don't even have a table yet." Blythe assured her.

Gwen, who was happily holding on to her Oma's hand grinned up at her mother, "Look momma I have a Oma!" She proclaimed proudly as if she had found Blythe like she would a lost puppy.

Lisa leaned down and placed a kiss on her daughter's cheek, "I see that! I am very happy for you, baby girl."

The hostess came to show them to their seats, but Lisa veered off to go to the bathroom first, "I will meet you all there."

House sat next to his father at the table leaving a spot open for Cuddy next to him. Blythe sat next to John with Gwen on her other side who would be on the other side of Lisa once she made it to the table.

The conversation focused on Blythe chatting with Gwen. She was completely entranced by the little girl. She smiled fondly and looked at Greg, "She is the spitting image of Lisa with your eyes." She had always loved her son's eyes. Just like everything else about him, they were special.

John laughed, "That's a good thing. At least she is an attractive child."

House glared at John, but forced himself not to say anything more. Instead he focused on Lisa who was making her way back to the table followed curiously by a brunette man who looked at least five years her junior.

She grinned awkwardly at the man and placed a hand on House's shoulder when she made it to the table, "See. I am meeting family." She was uncomfortable. The man had complimented her shoes then proceeded to blabber mindlessly all the way back to the table with her no matter how many times she insisted she was busy and needed to meet her family.

House set a hateful gaze on the man and put his arm around Cuddy's waist, "That was her way of saying quit stalking her. Beat it creep."

The man quickly made his apologies and stumbled off.

Lisa shook her head and took her seat, "That all started with him complimenting my shoes."

"He didn't like your shoes. He liked your legs." House insisted.

"Either way it was weird."

"Your shoes really are pretty, mommy." Gwen told her with a smile.

Lisa leaned over and kissed the top of her head, "Thank you, sweetie."

"Things like that never happened with your mother. It was probably a combination of the fact that she dressed modestly, and she had a ring on her finger letting people know she was spoken for." That was a double whammy. A blow against just Cuddy then a blow against them as a couple. What a way to start the evening.

"I think Lisa looks lovely." Blythe insisted trying to keep John from offending Lisa too much.

"If by lovely you mean, looks like a call girl then I agree."

House glowered at his dad, his mood already soured by the appearance of the unwanted visitor, "Stop calling the mother of my child a prostitute."

Lisa ran her hand over House's back to soothe him, "It's alright House. I am used to narrow minded opinions of men who think that woman who are proud of the way they look and unafraid of their sexuality are obviously hookers." She met John's gaze evenly letting him know she was by no means afraid of him, "As for not being married, that is our decision. We have just started to be together. Marriage can wait."

"That is probably just your way of saying you would never marry him." He shrugged off Blythe's warning hand. He was tired of playing nice with these two.

"I would be proud to marry your son when and if the time came, but should we never decide to marry it would be our choice. Trying to force us into a decision is by no means helpful or effective. No one's opinion but ours will matter either way." Lisa explained confidently.

"Would you really?" John shook his head and smirked smugly, "Is that why you waited so long to let him know about his daughter? Because you were proud of him? Or how about how long you waited before you dated him? You were proud of him then too?"

Lisa rolled her eyes, "It amazes me how you can sit there and act like you know exactly what we have been thinking and what we have been through. House and I have come so far together and separately. How we got here is a testament to how much we have grown. He is different. I am different. We are together now because we are ready to be." She now saw exactly why House didn't want to be around his father. The man was infuriating. She was glad that House seemed to be letting her take the reigns on the verbal sparing so far. She was doing a better job of holding her temper.

Gwen was oblivious to the tension she was surrounded by. She happily bounced in her seat humming along to the music playing overhead. She was just happy to be out with her parents. She didn't much care about what they were discussing.

John caught her erratic movements out of the corner of his eye and it was getting on his last nerve, "Stop squirming!" He snapped harshly making up for the fact that her parents obviously did not discipline her enough to know that a child was to sit still and quiet unless addressed.

Gwen's eyes widened with shock then filled with tears. She was not used to his harsh tone or being fussed at unless she had done something blatently wrong. All she had been doing was bouncing and humming. Was that so wrong?

That did it. House stood up and towered over his father, "You have managed to insult Cuddy, our relationship, and made our daughter cry within the span of five minutes. We are definitely done for the night. I think Cuddy made herself damn clear that we do not need or want you intruding on our lives. If you want to see your granddaughter you come and abide by our rules. We do not yell at her for simply being a child and moving around a bit. We are done here. Should you decide to see us during the rest of your trip you can call me, but you better remember to keep your god damn mouth shut." During this time Lisa had scooped up her crying daughter ready to make their exit with House. Blythe's eyes were tearing up as well, but she didn't try to stop them. She knew that John had pushed his luck. She would later call and see Gwen on her own multiple times before she returned home with John, but this would be the last time John would see them for now.


	26. A Little Change, Small to Say the Least

**A.N.: I figure after a few days abscence I owe you guys a chapter before I run off to sleep.**

**I am so sad that either no one noticed, or no one cared enough to mention Lucas' cameo in the last chapter. I was totally amused with myself. I think I was alone in that xD I hate Lucas**

**I do not own**

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><p><em>October<em>

"No."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "You know you keep saying that, but you are going to do this. It is important to me."

House narrowed his eyes, "Cuddy. Look at this thing." He gestured to the costume she had layed out on the couch in her office for him to look at, "I am not going anywhere dressed like that, let alone to a hospital get together. It isn't a charity function. It is just a party. My contract does not require my presence which is precisely why I have never been before. What on earth makes you think I would go now?"

She smiled and rested her elbow on her desk and her chin in her hand, "Because I want you to." He was about to open his mouth and retort, but she cut him off before he could, "And because I want you to, I will not sleep with you anymore if you refuse."

She was playing dirty. Normally House would have admired this, but his sex life was at stake, "You are a cold bitch, you know that." He shook his head and looked back at the costume, "Why couldn't we be Batman and Cat woman? I could dig that."

"Because there is no way I am going to fight off the wandering hands off my drunk colleagues when I am dressed in leather."

"As if they won't be trying to get all handsy on you in anything you wear." He was well aware that more than just his eyes and hands had wandered over Cuddy's luscious body, but he had to shake those thoughts off. He had her. They didn't. "What is in this for me?"

She sighed and sat back in her chair, "Continued admittance into our bed." She loved saying that. Our.

"See the fact that you referred to it as shared property means that I get automatic admittance. That is not a bribe. Plus, you wouldn't kick me out of bed. You know the guest bed is shit. It would be bad for my leg." He knew he had her there. Ever since he had moved in shortly after the departure of his parents she had threatened constantly to kick him out of bed, but she could never go through with it. He had made sure that his bed had been moved over for them to use while hers was moved into the guest bedroom. His mattress had better support for his leg. He had hated sleeping over on that bed, which had been his excuse for moving in. He had told her that it made more sense if he was going to always be over that he at least be able to sleep on a halfway decent bed. She knew better. The fight they had had with his dad had only brought them closer. He wanted to be there on a more permanent basis with them. She would never deny him that. If anything it made her heart swell with love for him. If the only consultation she had to make was to not call him out on his reasons, she could definitely do that.

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, what can I bribe you with?"

One waggle his eyebrows, a blow job in the bathroom of her office, and a retort that he would have settled for a hand job later he was walking out of her office with his costume in tote and a smug smile on his face.

On the afternoon of October 31st Lisa took Gwen out trick or treating in the neighborhood leaving House in charge of handing candy out to the kids. She had left him with a large bowl of candy and specific instructions that he had better not make any of the children cry, but he had plans of his own. He dumped the candy in his backpack with every intention of hiding it in his office the next day, and he pulled out a sack of apples from his hiding place in the hall closet. When the children would ring the door he gave them lectures on sugar intake and dental hygiene dropping one apple into each of their pales. It wasn't long before word got around to just skip that house altogether. It had all gone according to plan. He was able to sit back and watch tv in complete peace for the next hour and a half.

At six thirty Lisa rushed in with Gwen who was dressed as a fairy. Gwen ran to her daddy and held out her pale, "Look daddy! I gots lots of candy." She smiled proudly waiting for her father's approval on her loot.

House grabbed the pale and looked into it, "Wow you scored big, squirt. You gunna share with your daddy?"

She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, "Nu uh daddy, last year you eated it all!"

"It is ate, squirt, and I can not believe you think I would do that! I am hurt!" He placed his hand over his chest and feigned pain. Unlucky for him though, Gwen was well versed in her father's theatrics.

"You did eated... ate it daddy!" She corrected herself, "Don't be silly. My candy. Not yours." She took her pale and flitted off to find a hiding place for her candy.

Lisa chuckled and walked over to the couch so that she could get a proper look at House's amused face, "She has you all figured out."

House shook his head, "No she doesn't. She will have me all figured out when she gives up on fighting me like Wilson and just hands over the candy."

"As if that will ever happen. You reproduced with me, not Wilson. She has more fight in her than that." She leaned down and kissed him briefly, "You are going to wrinkle your costume." She informed him in a disapproving tone, "I am going to go get ready. The babysitter will be here in an hour." With that she left for the bedroom, and he turned his attention back to the Desperate Housewives.

* * *

><p>"Cuddy get your enormous ass out here!" House called from the hallway, "If you don't hurry up I will change my mind!"<p>

"Watch your mouth!" She snapped as she emerged from their room. She was dressed in a gold dress made to mimik that of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Her hair was pulled back in the same way Belle's had been. She would have been a live version of the character had the top of the dress fit her right. She had a bit too much chest and the tight corset top left her breasts to swell over just enough to show them off.

House could only stare. There were few times when he was left at a loss for words, but this was one of those times. His eyes just kept roving over her. He wasn't even aware of her amused smile, or her eyes doing the same thing to him. He looked handsome in his blue suit with gold accents taken from the outfit the beast had worn. He had even taken out his dress cane. The man always looked good, but this was something special. It was probably more to do with the fact that he was doing this for her than anything. She was happy to finally have a man to go with to this function. It meant a lot that she could get him to go with her.

She was the first to break the silence, "I promise you can take my dress off later, but right now we need to go."

Broken out of his trance he was finally able to talk, "You look amazing." Had he left it at that it might have been more of a compliment, but he didn't, "Belle has nothing on you. Your rack is incredible."

"It was sweet for a moment there."

When they got there the party was already in full swing. The irony of their outfits were not lost on anyone, but no one probably thought of it the way Cuddy did. As much as Belle had saved the beast, he had done so much for her as well. He had taken her out of her simple life and given her more than she ever dreamed of. The tears she shed had been out of love. It was a beautiful story, even if it was a child's story. It was one of the few that portrayed an equal partnership of a strong woman and a strong man. Lisa was no damsel in distress, and she would gladly take her 'beast' just as he was.

"I am going to go get a drink." House said the minute they walked in, "You want something?"

She shook her head, "No I am going to mingle." She watched as he grunted his understanding and went off to haunt the bar. She should have known he would end up there, but it didn't bother her. At least he came.

It wasn't long before she pulled on the dance floor by a group of nurses. She moved easily, and she was having fun. She was holding back though. House saw that. He knew the woman could move. He was well aware of just how those hips could move, but she was restraining herself. She was always thoughtful of her image. That brought an amused smile to his face. Even at a simple party she was worried how the old idiots that populated the board would take an extra swing of her hips out on the dance floor. One of these days she was going to lose control, and he had every intention of being there when that happened.

She came by to chat with him for a few moments before she was pulled away again. He inwardly regretted that he couldn't bounce around with her, but he made himself feel better by remembering that even with a good leg he wouldn't have wanted to talk to any of these morons. Not even for her.

"Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme." The singsong voice of Wilson fell on House's ears and he tensed up.

"I swear to Satan, Jimmy if you dare to finish that I will punch you." He turned to face his friend and immediately glared. Wilson had come as Batman, "This is a joke! You are Robin at best."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Whatever I make an amazing Batman." He ordered a drink then turned back to House, "You and Cuddy look good though. This was nice of you to do."

"It was nice of her to get on her knees and convince me."

"Really?" Wilson perked up.

House rolled his eyes, "No you idiot!" He lied.

Wilson shrugged, "Can't blame me for believing you. You guys are doing so well lately what with the move and all."

House took a big swig of his scotch before answering that, "We were doing well before, which is why I moved in. I was there all the time anyway. Logically it was the right move."

"Speaking of moves, when are you going to aks her to marry you?"

House glared yet again at his friend, "What the hell has you thinking we would get married? Marriage is a ridiculous institution that means nothing. It is just a piece of paper."

"What I am thinking is that it would be nice to have a ring to at least let people know she is taken." He gestured to the dance floor where Cuddy was fighting off the wandering hands of Dr. Griffith.

"She knows she is taken." He said firmly, but he would never admit that the thought of marrying Cuddy had crossed his mind. He loved her. If he married her she could take his name and he could legally adopt his own daughter. He was fine with their arrangement, but it wouldn't hurt to make it fully legal. He was proud of his women. He wanted them to have his name, and he definitely wanted Cuddy to have that ring. Ever since the incident with the guy at the restaurant it had bugged him. Men always thought it was free game if there was no ring. Some thought they were even with a ring. The problem was that he wasn't sure that he was ready to make that jump. Dr. Griffith's hands were definitely helping to push him towards that cliff. Marriage was more of a symbol than anything. He would certainly be a happier man if he would have a symbol that Cuddy was completely and absolutely his. It deserved some thought for sure.

With all that in mind House walked away from Wilson and popped two Vicodin on his way over to Cuddy. He would spend the rest of his night glued to her side whispering in her ear, dancing with her, and making her laugh. If anyone had any doubts about their relationship before, they didn't anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.: Ok, I know things are moving faster, but we all know House is a fast mover. He moved in with Stacy after a week. For Cuddy, she is basically just letting herself be lost in the bliss of loving him. She is seeing the good of having her daughter have her father, and she feels a bond with him since his dad sucks much more than even her mother does. If any of you think them moving in together or House having thoughts about marrying Cuddy if only as a possessive thing is out of character, then I apologize. Understand that all of this is so not even the story arc I am working toward. This is all build up. Things are happy now, but the angst will be back. Be prepared.<strong>


	27. A Shot in the Dark

**A.N.: Can you say long ass unexpected hiatus? I apologize for my abscence, but I am back now. Hopefully nothing else will come up.**

**I do not own.**

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><p><em>November<em>

"You are really still not talking to me? It has been a full twenty four hours." House planted his feet firmly in one spot in front of Cuddy's desk and stared her down. He knew that he would pay the price for skipping out on Thanksgiving dinner with her folks, but he had expected a fight out of her. So far since he returned home at midnight the previous night all he had gotten was her getting up from the bed and leaving the room in favor of sleeping in the guest bedroom. She didn't understand. He had been playing nice for months. He went to charity functions. He saw Wilson less in favor of movie nights with Cuddy and the kid. He hadn't been out drinking since they got together, because he knew that coming home drunk would be a huge no no in the eyes of mama bear Cuddy. He could see the rational there. It would not be good for the kid to see him that way. So, he played the part of the decent boyfriend and the decent father, but by the time Thanksgiving rolled around he was tired. He didn't want to play nice with all of the Cuddys. A house full of her parents, sister, sisters family, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's family. The very thought alone made him cringe. He had tried to talk her into a simple meal at home with just them plus Wilson who had recently been kicked out of his own home by future ex wife number three, but Cuddy wasn't budging. She said it was tradition and brushed off any attempt he made at changing her mind. It was annoying. She hadn't listened. So his decision to leave at three o'clock Thanksgiving morning made sense to him. Why should he stick around for a day that would only bring him misery when she wasn't even going to listen to him? Should he be the only one bending and making sacrifices? No. So he left. He made sure not to bring anything with him other than the clothes on his back, his wallet, and his car keys so she would know that he would be back. He spent the entire day in a hotel room watching tv/porn (watching it sans Cuddy hadn't happened in a long time, and if he was honest he liked it less this way). Then he came home. It was innocent really, so why wasn't she giving any ground?

Cuddy was trying to ignore House standing in front of her attempting to look completely innocent. She moved things around on her desk idly in an attempt to look busy, but it wasn't working. Her mind would not move off of the topic of him. She had panicked when she woke up to an empty bed. She pictured him collapsed in pain somewhere in the house, but instead all she found was a Houseless house. His car was gone. No note. He had just taken off. She knew that he didn't want to go, but was that really reason enough to take off without a word. She was hurt beyond words. He had abandoned her. She had had to explain over and over again to her family that he was sick. Not a one of them looked like they bought it. Her father knew her better. He knew when she was lying. Everyone else just simply did not trust him. Her entire family was betting that he would hurt her. Leave her. It was only a matter of time, and for them they just assumed that the time had finally come. It was embarrassing to say the least. Then he had the nerve to try and return to their bed. She might not have had the heart to kick him out of it, but she sure as hell was not about to stay in it with him.

As a last resort to catch her attention he slammed his cane down across her desk effectively pulling her out of her thoughts and scaring the shit out of her. She pulled her eyes up to look at him finally, "Dr. House unless you have something medically relevant to discuss I suggest you get out right now." Her voice was even, but the anger was evident behind the words. She wanted him gone.

House shook his head, "I am not going anywhere until you actually discuss this with me. This is ME wanting to TALK. This is a once in a life time opportunity. It probably won't be happening again."

Cuddy stood up silently and made her way around to stand in front of him leaning back against her desk, "You want to talk? Fine. Lets talk about the fact that you scared me to death when I first woke up. Lets talk about the fact that my entire family minus my dad spent the entire day telling me 'I told you so', because they were convinced you left me. Lets talk about the fact that I had to promise our daughter that you would be home soon when I tucked her in that night even though I wasn't really sure myself when you would be home if at all."

The part about Gwen tugged at his heart, but he brushed it off, "I didn't take anything with me. You knew I would be back. This your fault anyway." He watched her glare turn in to a look more akin to suspicion and surprise then soldiered on, "You didn't listen to me. I told you I didn't want to go. I wanted to be home with OUR family."

"My family is OUR family."

He laughed right out-loud at that, "They are most definitely not my family. You are. Gwen is, but the rest of them I refuse to claim."

"It was one day. That was all I asked of you."

"No it was all you asked of me this time. You are constantly asking things of me without regard of what I would want. You just seem to feel like I should do what you want because you want it." A twinge in his leg reminded him of how long he had been standing. He moved from in front of her to the chair a few feet away.

She watched him as he moved, but didn't mention it. She knew his leg had to be hurting by now. Making any comment about it would be a low blow, "So you are upset because sometimes I want to do things that I want to do? What about things that you want to do? We do it all the time. That stupid monster truck rally you dragged me to..."

"It was not stupid!" He cut her off, but at the same time his pager cut him off. He checked it and stood up, "My patient is dying, but even though I am leaving this conversation is in no way over. I will be back."

"Gee I so look forward to it." She stated as she made her way back around the desk to her chair.

* * *

><p>House pushed the door of the conference room open with his cane and stared down his team, "What happened?"<p>

Cameron was the first to pipe up, "The patient experienced rectal bleeding then crashed. It took us two tries to shock the heart back to rhythm."

"Ok so what causes a previously healthy seventeen year old to have a stroke, rectal bleeding, and cardiac arrest?"

A gentleman who looked to be in his late fifties pushed open the door and entered the conference room, "Which one of you is Dr. House?"

House looked around at his team for a second then pointed at Cameron, "The skinny one."

The man shook his head, "No that is Dr. Cameron."

House furrowed his brow in confusion, "If you knew that then why did you even ask?"

"Just wanted to see if you would actually be honest." With that he drew a gun out of his jacket and shot House twice. Once in the gut and once in the neck.

As they wheeled him down to the OR House forced himself to open his eyes. The first person he saw was Cameron. He hurriedly spit out the words he needed her to hear before he was forced back in to unconsciousness, "Tell Cuddy to try Ketamine."


	28. We Have Nothing to be Guilty of

**A.N.: I am glad most of you seemed to have enjoyed the cliffy. Hopefully this chapter will be up to par.**

**I do not own.**

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><p>A week. House had been in the chemically induced coma for a week after his surgery. Cuddy hadn't left his side. Guilt had built up thick inside her. Her security had failed her. A man had walked into her hospital, shot House, and walked right out without so much as a smidgen of interference from the men and woman she paid to keep the place safe. She should have reviewed her protocols for gunfire in the workplace better. She should have screened her security employees better. This should never have happened. On top of that she had insisted on being the one to administer his Ketamine. If it was given wrong or if it didn't work she didn't want anyone else to blame. She took it all upon herself. If House had been conscious she was sure he would have berated her for her perverse sense of guilt and responsibility. She didn't care. This was House who was being treated. Her heart, her life were all on the line here. She hadn't really realized how much she had intertwined herself with House until they had come to tell her that he had been shot. She felt like someone had punched her in the gut. It was impossible to breath. She found a million things running through her head. The most prominent was Gwen. She couldn't begin to imagine how to explain to her daughter that daddy would never be home if they lost him. Second was how she was ever going to handle it if he never came home. To never settle into that perfect spot up against his side when she was ready to go to sleep. To never kiss him again. This was the third time she thought she might lose him and it was devastating each time.<p>

From the door of the ICU room Wilson was leaning against the door frame and watching Cuddy carefully. He knew she hadn't left the room for anything more than a quick shower or to use the bathroom. Her hair was an oily mess pulled back into a ponytail probably because it would take too long for her to give it a good wash. He would swear that if he moved her there would still be an indent in the chair from where she had been sitting for the last week. Her eyes stayed glued to his face waiting for some sign of life. He would be coming around soon if all went as planned. He had been trying to convince Cuddy not to blame herself, but he knew it had not worked. He felt as if he could actually see the guilt etched into her features.

He moved from his spot and went to her side placing his hand on her shoulder, "Give him time Cuddy. The drugs have to wear off. He will come around soon."

Cuddy didn't look up at him. She kept her gaze on her lover, "What if my dosage was off? What if.."

He quickly cut her off, "No matter what House has joked in the past, you are a good doctor. He knows it. I know it. You know it. You are just questioning yourself because you are scared. That is normal. This was why we all tried to convince you to let someone else administer his drugs. This could have been on someone else's shoulders."

"I didn't want to be tempted to fire anyone else should this go wrong. It wouldn't be ethical. He knew this was experimental when he asked for it, but for him, if I lost him, I would have been very tempted to let ethics fly out the window." She leaned her head against the side of the chair looking completely worn out, "This way I have no one else to blame. This is all me."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "He is right. Your guilt complex is perverse."

She closed her eyes for a moment then opened them back up, "Geez thanks. You are an amazing friend."

Wilson knelt down next to her and turned her chin so that she would be forced to look at him, "You have this insane need to try and control everything so that when it all goes wrong there is only you left to blame. For some reason you think that makes a difference, but it doesn't. Even if you did it and you lost him he would still be gone. There is no difference between someone else losing him and you losing him except that you would have an excuse to stay miserable for the rest of your life. That is not worth it, and you don't deserve it."

"I don't want to lose him." She said quietly.

Wilson nodded, "I know. I don't either."

During this exchange House for his part had been fighting his way back to consciousness. Familiar voices filled his foggy thoughts. When he was finally able to open his eyes he saw Wilson and Cuddy sharing what seemed to be a meaningful stare. He was not sure what was going on, but this was definitely not something he was expecting to wake up to. He moved forced his hand to move on top of the one Cuddy had laying on his bed. He watched as she jumped and turned to look at him. Her eyes grew big and she took hold of his hand.

"House!" When she saw him flinch against the noise she bit her bottom lip, "Sorry." She said in a softer tone, "Oh welcome back." She busied herself with kissing his hand while Wilson helped House drink some water.

House cleared his throat then rasped out, "Ketamine?"

Wilson nodded, "Cuddy administered it after they fixed you up."

House moved his gaze back to the woman clinging to his hand for dear life, "You did it? Don't you have doctors paid to do it?"

"That doesn't matter." She defended, "What matters is that you are here now."

House looked back at Wilson, "How guilty was she?"

"Don't you mean how guilty is she? A twenty on a scale from one to ten." He said with an amused smile. He took out his penlight to start the neurological checks.

House pushed the penlight away, "My brain is fine." He gave Cuddy's hand a squeeze, "I'm good, so no more guilt right?"

Cuddy ignored that, "Are you good? How is the pain?"

House closed his eyes and considered this for a moment, "Neck and gut hurt like a bitch but... nothing in the leg." He let a small smile creep across his lips.

Cuddy reached up and ran a hand through his hair, "House, you know that this might not last. I don't want you to be disappointed."

"Stop it Cuddy. Let me enjoy this."

Cuddy shared a concerned look with Wilson then nodded, "Ok. I am happy it is working so far."

Wilson's pager went off breaking the temporary silence that was left hanging after she said that, "I will be back."

"Bring me food." House demanded as Wilson left.

Cuddy shook her head, "Only you would think it would be a good idea to eat so soon."

"I am the genius remember?" He watched as Cuddy's gaze fell down to their joined hands. She had something on her mind. She was always so easy to read, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She insisted placing another kiss on the top of his hand.

"Don't lie to me."

She took a deep breath then soldiered on, "I'm sorry for before. For the fight. You were right. I didn't listen to you."

He rolled his eyes, "Only you would still be thinking about that after all this. I was wrong too. I should never have just left like that. Lets just call it even and move on." He waited to see relief written on her face, but it never came, "What else is there? Did you cheat on me while I was in a coma?"

This caused her head to pop up and glare at him, "How could you even think that?"

He chuckled a little, "I don't, but it got you to look up."

She rolled her eyes, "You are such and ass." She grumbled. After a few minutes of his probing stare she finally gave in, "Security should have caught this. It never should have happened."

He raised his eyes to the ceiling in exasperation, "Cuddy it was bound to happen eventually. I piss too many people off. Don't take this so personally."

"It is my hospital! My... you." She had trouble finding the right word. Boyfriend seemed so juvenile and lover seemed so dirty. He was so much more. Both words were appropriate, but neither quite covered what she felt for him.

A smug smirk crossed his features, "Your me?"

She raised her chin a little defiantly, "Yes. My you."

House took his hand from her so that he could raise both hands to either side of her face, "I am only going to say this once. You could not have seen this coming. It was a freak shooting, but I came out of this fine. You went against what I am sure was your better judgment and gave me this drug. You are constantly making my life better. You make me happy. If anything is your fault it is how good my life has been. You and Gwen are the absolute best part of my life. Feel guilty about that, because nothing else is ever your fault. I love you, so stop beating yourself up. Everything is good. Let it be good." He moved his thumb across her cheek to wipe away the tears that were now streaming down.

She took in all of his words and took a deep breath. It was rare for House to be so open and she was savoring it. She stood up and he immediately moved over. He knew what she wanted and allowed her the space to slide against him in bed careful not to bump any of his wounds. She settled her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, "I love you too. I can't lose you. I need you." It was not nearly as elaborate as what he had told her, but it spoke volumes. Lisa Cuddy didn't need anyone's help. She didn't accept help, but she was willingly admitting to needing him in her life. It was huge for her, and he acknowledged it with a kiss pressed to her forehead. Both of them knew better than to push the other for more than what they had shown. They didn't need more. They understood each other's capability of vulnerability and boundaries that could not be crossed. For now each had said more than enough to satisfy the other.


	29. Going The Distance

**A.N.: I send my apologies to anyone reading Maybe I'm Amazed. I have hit yet another wall. I have the huge problem of thinking that almost everything I think of to do with them is extremely corny. For some reason Wuddy feels so much fluffier than Huddy. xD Can't imagine why. In any case, I have merely pressed pause. It is in no way abandoned. I am sorry to be doing this so frequently, but blame my muse please.**

**Anyway, on with the show.**

**I do not own.**

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><p><em>December<em>

House was released shortly after he woke from his coma. Normally he would have stayed in the hospital for further observation, but all of his checks were turning up fine, and he also happened to be the worst behaved patient that PPTH had ever had. He scared off every nurse, and even some of the most respected doctors in the hospital refused to go near him. Luckily he was surround by the only doctors he really needed. Cuddy and Wilson kept close eyes on him, and only let him return home under the condition that he rest until his stitches were removed. Unfortunately House was not only a bad patient, but he was also horrible at following discharge instructions. No matter how much Cuddy fussed, he would not just rest. He chased Gwen in the backyard throwing snowballs. He went out for walks when she turned her back on him. She had never been so relieved in her life to remove someone's stitches. He had not shown any concern for popping his stitches, but she certainly did. It was hard to fuss too much, though. Cuddy knew that the fact that he could walk and even run short distances without pain was a huge feat for him. He was most literally stretching his legs. She had not seen him so happy in years. His happiness was contagious. Gwen felt it, and so did Cuddy. The Cuddy-Household was in an absolute state of bliss, but in the back of both adults the fear that it would not last was constantly there. They just built up walls around it. Enjoying it was so much more important than worrying about it. They could deal with that when the time came.

On Christmas Eve morning Cuddy slept soundly in the bed she shared with House. At some point in the night she had curled herself into a ball with her covers pulled up to her neck. Normally she would have worked on Christmas Eve since, as a Jew, she did not observe it, but House had insisted that they celebrate to 'give Gwen the chance to choose her own path'. This coming from her Atheist lover. She was certain that he was just being obstinate for the sake of it, but she had gotten his willing participation in Hanukkah in exchange for it, so she agreed. Tonight they had plans to watch Christmas movies as a family and tomorrow they would observe Christmas in the company of Wilson and his new girlfriend. She was certain that Christmas day would be full of jokes about the Jews around the Christmas tree from House, but it would probably prove to be fun none the less.

House, however, had been up for the last hour. After a failed attempt to fall back asleep he got himself up and made a pot of coffee. A brief look through the channels confirmed the fact that there was not a damn thing on tv. He was bored and a bit ancy. He decided a run would best cure this, but he refused to go alone. With that decided he crawled back into bed and poked Cuddy in the side. When that got him a groan he spoke up, "Get up!"

Cuddy groaned yet again and pulled the covers tighter around her, "It is my day off. Go annoy someone else."

"There is no one but our daughter who I will be getting up as well after you get your fat ass moving." He stated simply.

She turned her head a little and opened one eye to be able to look at him, "What a sweet talker. Is that really how you expect to get me up? And why do you want to bother Gwen?"

He smiled innocently, "First off, You know I worship your ass. Second, we are all going for a run. Her in the umbrella stroller. I will push this time."

"Sounds more like a jog."

He rolled his eyes and poked her side again, "You are just getting technical." He pulled on the covers trying to get her to release the vice grip on them, "Come on I want to go."

"Go aloneeeeeee." She whined.

"I want to go as a family. I can finally do this with the both of you, and I want to do it." He admitted

There was a sincerity in his voice that struck a cord with her. She let out a big sigh and released the covers, "Fine. Lets go."

He smiled triumphantly and practically bounded from the bed, or at least as close as any middle aged man could come to bounding.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day passed without any significance. They later gathered in the living room and watched the Christmas movies complete with commentary from House about how lame claymation is, and how he didn't blame the Grinch from stealing from the annoying Who's.<p>

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><p>Christmas morning Cuddy woke with yet another poke to her side, "House, not again. We ran yesterday. You know days off are rare for me. Take Gwen out by yourself."<p>

"Merry Christmas, Mommy!" The oddly loud voice of her daughter let her know that it was in fact the three year old prodding her awake and not her lover.

Cuddy sat up and turned to Gwen. She smiled and gathered her daughter in her arms, "Good morning, sweetie." She told her as she kissed the top of her head, "Merry Christmas to you too."

Gwen kissed her mother's cheek with a loud smack and held out a black box, "I have a Christmas present for you."

Cuddy took the box with a grin. She was surprised that House had thought to purchase a gift from Gwen to her, "Really what is it?" She opened it to reveal a white gold princess cut engagement ring. Her mouth immediately fell open, "House?"

That was all it took for House to come in smiling like the cat that ate the canary, "Yes?"

Cuddy stared at him, "What is this?"

"Seems pretty straight forward to me." House said with a shrug.

Gwen beamed up at her mother, "We want to marry you, momma!"

House chuckled and bent down on one knee by Cuddy's side of the bed mostly just because he could, "Yeah we want to marry you, momma."

Cuddy hugged Gwen tighter, but kept her eyes on House, "Why? You hate marriage? We don't have to do this, House. Things are good. Why are you doing this?" She sounded like she was on the verge of a panic attack and she knew it. There were so many things running through her mind. She wanted it. She hated to admit it, but she did. She wanted the full family package, but he had told her so long ago that you can't always get what you want. She could live with what they had. What they had was good. It was working. She couldn't help but wonder what could possess him to want to do this. Was he scared she would leave if he didn't take this step? Had Wilson worked on him to make him think this was something she needed to feel fulfilled and happy?

House reached out and took her hand, "Calm down before you hyperventilate. I am doing this because I want to. I want us to be an official family. I want to adopt my daughter so she will have my name, and I want you to carry my name as well."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "So this is about your possessive nature?"

He shrugged a little, "Partially. You are right. We do not need to do this. It is just a piece of paper, but I want us to have that piece of paper. I want everyone to know that this is real. No, I don't normally give a fu..." He looked at Gwen the adjusted his wording, "Care what anyone else thinks, but I am tired of people telling you I am going to leave. I want to prove to YOU that I am in it for the long haul so that when someone brings it up you can flash that ring in their face."

"I can defend us without a ring."

"But it would be easier with it." He pressed, "I love you. I won't lie to you and tell you that this is my dream come true. I never wanted to be married, but for you I will be. I want to make you happy. I want my family officially. I want any idiot who comes within a foot of you to be able to look at your hand and see that someone loves you. Maybe that is selfish, but you can't tell me that you don't want this."

Cuddy stared at House for a second then looked at Gwen, "What do you think baby Girl?"

Gwen smiled brightly and pointed to the ring, "Daddy and I want to marry you mommy!"

Cuddy laughed and shook her head, "I like how you included her. Very manipulative."

House smiled smugly, "Well you know how I roll. Are you going to give me an answer?"

Cuddy nodded, "Yes."

"Yes is your answer, or yes you are going to give me an answer?"

"Both." She looked at Gwen and released her for the hug she had held her in, "Baby, go wait by the presents for us. We will come out and open them with you in a minute ok?"

Gwen nodded quickly and took off from the bed to the living room alive with the prospect of presents.

Once she was out of the room Cuddy faced House again, "This is a commitment House. Not just to me. To Gwen. You are promising us a family life. Nothing temporary. I will not enter this with you thinking a divorce will be an easy out. This is real, and this is forever. We can not put her through this on a whim."

House got up off his bended knee and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Do you really think I haven't thought this through? Cuddy you have been there for me for years. We have a child. This is not as sudden as it seems. To anyone else it would seem that way, but I wouldn't do this if I wasn't certain. I love Gwen and I would never do anything involving her unless I was completely sure. I can't promise you perfection, but I promise you that no matter what I will try my damnedest to make this work."

Cuddy looked at the ring then took it out of the box slipping it on her hand, "Alright, but for the record it is Cuddy-House. I am not simply taking your name no matter how much your chauvinist side may want me to."

House chuckled and leaned in to kiss her, "I would expect nothing less."


	30. Nothing Else Matters

A.N.: Did you miss me? Excuse my long absence. They unfortunately do not pay me to write fanfiction.

I do not own these people. I just play with them then put them back in the toy box.

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><p><em>February 23<em>

Life seemed to be flying by. Decisions were being made on the wing of a prayer. Never in her whole life had Lisa been relying so much on the decisions that her heart wanted. Usually she tried to leave her emotions out of the equation as best she could. Emotions were not logical. They threw you off, but when it came to House lately all she could do was to hold on tight and let her heart take her on a ride. Watching House be blissfully happy, or as close as he could ever come, made her blissfully happy. With the new found use of his leg he was like a kid with a new toy. He was pushing every possible limit he had. It scared her. He would always have the power to scare her, but when he would come back from his eight mile run or from playing tennis for hours or whatever his completely content, albeit tired, face was enough to push her fears to the corner of her mind. He needed to keep working it out, even if he was pushing too hard. He seemed to be completely happy. Hell he hadn't even suggested forgetting about the wedding yet. On the contrary, he was a little upset she wanted to wait so long. He was ready to hit the court house the minute she put the ring on. Cuddy wanted a wedding. She wanted to have her father walk her down the aisle and wear that white dress. That was one thing he did not want. She should have known their would be a catch to him wanting to get married. She willingly gave up the idea of her white wedding for the chance to marry House, but even as she did she put off the date. In her mind she was giving him the chance to change his mind. She was also giving herself the chance to get used to the idea. Everything with them seemed to be moving at light speed. Now finally the day she had agreed upon was here, and she felt like she was going to vomit on the spot.

What if they fell out of love? What if he changed his mind at random? What if he pushed them away? What if she pushed him away? What would happen to Gwen? Could she handle them breaking up? Did House even realize what a big chance they were taking?

Cuddy stood up from behind her desk and moved around to pace in front of it. She had put on her cream colored skirt and jacket with a red top under it. This would be the outfit she would wear to the court house with House, Wilson, and Amber. She couldn't believe that House was going to allow Amber to be one of their witnesseses after his huge fit when Wilson brought her to Christmas. She was the newest girlfriend, and House couldn't stand her. She specialized in infectious disease at Princeton General. House saw her as someone trying to copy him. He of course did not take that as flattery so much as taking it as a challenge. He also had come to not like how much time she demanded of Wilson. He was used to being able to call Wilson up at his every whim. Amber wasn't like the other wives. She did not allow Wilson to just run off at House's every call. Now they had set days when they would go out. House did not like or support her rules, but one thing was absolutely certain, Wilson seemed happy. House begrudgingly acknowledged the fact, but Cuddy reveled in it. She was happy to see her friend in such a great place. Maybe this woman would be good for him, even if she was not Cuddy's cup of tea either. She seemed really... intense. She had enough of that with House.

A glance at her watch told her she had an hour before Wilson would come to fetch her to go to the court house. Even though this day would lack completely in the tradition of a formal wedding Wilson insisted that House should not see her until they exchanged vows. House had quickly agreed since that meant he could stay sleeping until she was gone for work then avoid the clinic all day for 'chance of spotting her'.

There was a gentle knock on her door. She turned and came face to face with her father. Her heart immediately clinched. Not having him there had been the hardest thing about agreeing to the court house wedding. She had fought saying that they could still do it with him there, but House didn't want to tell his parents so he fought that they would be hurt if Douglas got to be there. He also made the point that if Douglas got to be there Julia and Arlene would need to be there. It would just keep adding people to the list, and that was what he was trying to avoid.

Douglas walked forward towards his daughter with a smile on his face, "I was in the neighborhood and decided to stop by. I haven't seen you in a while."

Cuddy flashed him an apologetic look, "I know, I'm sorry. Things have been so busy." She couldn't tell him she was avoiding him because she felt guilty about the wedding. She had no idea how to be able to apologize that away.

Douglas waved that off, "Don't worry about it. Come on. Take a little walk with me. You look like you could use a break."

Cuddy went with him willingly. The least she could do was to go for a walk with her father. They talked about Gwen and how his garden was doing, but before long she realized he had led her to Wilson's office. She stopped immediately and looked around to make sure House wasn't in sight, "Dad, what are we doing here?" She should have been paying more attention to what floor they were getting off on.

Douglas tugged a little on her arm, "Come with me and see. Don't worry. Greg isn't around to see you."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "How do you know? Dad what is going on." She could feel her pulse quicken. She had missed something. Something had changed in the plans and she had no idea what, but it made her very nervous.

Douglas only seemed to broaden his smile, "Stop freaking out. This is a good thing." He pulled on her arm until she finally went with him into Wilson's office where Julia and Arlene were waiting. Julia wore a royal blue strapless dress with her hair pulled up into a bun while Arlene wore a cream color pants suit with a corsage pinned to the lapel of the jacket.

Arlene shook her head at her daughter, "I can't believe you thought you were going to get married without us."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow and stared at her mother, "Are you guys crashing my wedding?" She didn't understand at all. If they were going to the courthouse too what made them think that they needed to get so dressed up?

Behind her the door to Wilson's office opened and Blythe stepped in, "I have the dress." She declared with a proud smile. Nothing pleased her more than to be included in her son's plans especially after everything that had happened when they last saw him.

Cuddy couldn't stop staring. She took turns staring from one person then the other until she finally found her voice, "Okay which one of you is going to explain what is going on?"

Douglas took this as his cue to do the explaining. He loved his wife, but she was not the best with words, "Greg wanted to give you the wedding he knew you wanted. That is what we are here to do today."

Cuddy glared a little, "Why didn't he just let me plan one!" She did not enjoy having all the control over something that involved her taken away.

Douglas moved to his daughter and took both her hands in his, "You know how he likes his games. He likes that he can still pull the wool over your eyes. At least this time he is doing it in your favor. He has this all thought out. He even got the board to approve it so you wouldn't worry about that. Let us do this for you. A man that loves you completely has planned an entire wedding just for you. Most men want nothing to do with their weddings. This is a good thing. Let it be good."

Cuddy listened to her father and tried to calm herself down. He was right. House was doing this for his love of games, but she also knew that he was doing this for the love of her. She would have driven herself crazy trying to plan the perfect wedding. At least he had not just written off her want of an actual wedding completely. He was giving it to her, even if he was being sneaky about it. So with all of this in mind she smiled and kissed Douglas's cheek gently, "Thank you, daddy."

Douglas nodded and let her go, "You have to get ready now, and so do I. I will be seeing you very soon."

When Douglas left Blythe stepped forward holding out the garment bag she had in her arms to Lisa, "Greg had me pick up your dress."

Cuddy took it suddenly realizing she had never even tried on a dress, "How did he even know what size to get?"

"If there is one thing my son knows, I would bet it would be your size, Lisa." Blythe said with a playful smile.

Cuddy had to laugh at that. The woman had her there. House was always observant, and his top choice of things to observe was her figure.

The dress House chose for her was very simple. A pure white dress with lace cap sleeves attached to the tight white bodice. It held tight to her chest and abdomen then fell loose to the floor just enough to touch the floor but not enough to constitute a train. It was not her dream dress, but Cuddy found herself smiling at her reflection in the mirror that had brought into Wilson's office for her. It was simple yet elegant. It was a good dress, and she was in love with it not because it was amazing. She was in love with it because it was the dress picked out by the man that loved her. That made it perfect.

Blythe, Arlene and Julia, who had stepped out to let her change in a corner of the office away from the glass door, now stood off to the side waiting for Cuddy to pronounce herself ready. Arlene's patience was the first to run out, "Are you done staring at yourself? You look nice, now we need to get down there and get you married.

Cuddy forced herself not to roll her eyes, "Did he bring me shoes?"

Julia moved behind Wilson's desk and came back out with a box. When Cuddy reached inside she extracted a pair of silver strappy manolo stilettos. A huge grin immediately crossed her face, "Now this he knew was a slam dunk." Hell the dress could have been a potato sack for all she cared if he gave these with them. She slipped them on and smiled at her three helpers, "Ok. Now I am ready."

Cuddy was more than a little surprised to be meeting her father outside of one of the classrooms, "Are you walking me to the hall?" She had just assumed that they would be making use of the conference hall that was reserved for the random functions she sometimes hosted at the hospital. What on earth were they doing outside a classroom?

Douglas shook his head and held out his arm letting her loop hers through the crook, "No, we are right where we need to be." He opened the door to the classroom and Cuddy's eyes were once again filled with surprise. There were minimal decorations, flowers here and there, but the room was filled with colleagues and family sitting in the chairs staring up at her. Down the stairs by the desk was her future husband dressed in a black suit with her favorite sky blue shirt under and a pair of sneakers on his feet. If she didn't know any better she would have thought by looking at him that this was just any old day at work for him except for the fact that his clothes were ironed. She was sure that in that moment she couldn't possibly love him more than she did right now.

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><p>Cuddy and Douglas made their way down the steps as the strains of Metallica's 'Nothing Else Matters' played from the stereo set up by House.<p>

_So close no matter how far _

_Couldn't be much more from the heart _

_Forever trust in who we are _

_And nothing else matters_

_Never opened myself this way _

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_ All these words I don't just say _

_And nothing else matters_

_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_ Every day for us something new_

_ Open mind for a different view_

_ And nothing else matters_

_Never cared for what they do _

_Never cared for what they know_

_ But I know_

Leave it to House to have her walking down the makeshift aisle to a metal band ballad.

When she finally came to stand next to him he shut off the stereo and shook Douglas's hand before taking her hands in his. His smile was one that she had seen many times before. It was the smile that told her he had pulled one over on her yet again, "Surprised?" He asked quietly.

"Completely." She had so many questions for him, but they would have to wait. For now she had to repeat vows after the justice of the peace.

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><p>When it was all over and sealed with a kiss, Cuddy found herself bombarded with hugs and kisses courtesy of her daughter who refused to wait her turn to congratulate the couple, "Are you happy momma? I've been with Uncle Jimmy alllll day! I helped him decorate!"<p>

Cuddy smiled and hugged her daughter tightly, "I am very happy. Thank you so much for all of this. I can't think of a better wedding."

House, who for his part was tired of waving off all the people trying to congratulate him, took Gwen from her and set her back down on the floor kissing the top of her head, "We have to go, squirt. You going to be good for your grandparents while we are gone?"

"Wait, how long and where are we going?" Cuddy cut in.

"Just two nights at a hotel in town. I promise that if Gwen gets hurt or the hospital burns down we will be able to hop on over." House told her with a roll of his eyes. Cuddy would always be predictable in his eyes.

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><p>One hellishly long hour later House was attacking Cuddy's neck with kisses inside the honeymoon suite of a local hotel. She had taken much longer to say her thank you's and goodbyes than he would have liked.<p>

Cuddy pushed on his chest and forced him to step away so that she could set down their overnight bag and she could look him in the eye, "Why the classroom?"

House rolled his eyes, "Can't you just thank me for a nice little wedding by letting me ravage you?"

She shook her head," Not yet. This has been bothering me since the moment I saw the classroom."

House took a deep breath and crossed his arms, "You ruin everything. Didn't that room remind you of anything?"

Cuddy nodded, "Sure it reminded me I need to find a replacement speaker for Coleman on Monday. He had to fly to Nebraska because his mom is sick"

"His mom isn't sick."

"You have no way of knowing that."

"I know that Coleman is going to a bachelor party this weekend and will probably be fighting off a hangover. I doubt his mom has anything to do with that."

Cuddy's jaw dropped, "How the hell do you know all that?"

"I listen." He stated matter of factly.

"whatever" She waved that off for the moment, "What should it have reminded me of?"

"If you don't remember then you don't deserve to know."

Cuddy moved to him and put her arms around him, "Oh come on! Just tell me! The sooner you tell me the sooner you can ravage me." She smiled up at him playfully hoping he would not hold out for long.

He gave an exaggerated sigh and looked down into her eyes, "Endocrinology."

That one word brought recognition to her eyes and a beaming smile to her face, "It really did look a lot like our old classroom! That is why you chose it?"

He gave a little nod and silently hoped she wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

In an instant her lips were on his kissing him hungrily. She knew that he wouldn't want to hear about how romantic it was and how much it meant to her, but she had every intention of showing him just that. She would never have imagined he would put that much love and thought into their wedding day.

He returned her kisses and moved his hands to the back of her dress in an attempt to get it off. At the same time she moved her hands to take off his jacket. As they fought in a frenzy of kisses and jerks they somehow managed to slip and fall together onto the ground. Cuddy was about to ask if he was alright, but she knew the fall had not deterred him. He was already moving to lift up her dress. When the dress was lifted above her waist he gasped dramatically, "You were not wearing any underwear! Throughout our wedding ceremony you were standing there in your pretty white dress going commando."

She bit her lip and turned her head a little to hide her smile, "Consider it my way of thanking you. I knew you would enjoy it."

"Enjoy it. I just.." He covered his mouth pretending to be completely moved and at a loss for words, "I have never been given such a meaningful gift." He reached his hand between her legs and ran his fingers between her lips to brush against her clit, "This was definitely worth getting married for."

His menstruations between her legs had her moaning and arching her back just a little, "It worked out well for both of us, now shut up and focus."

He let a grin settle on his lips and focused as he was told. His fingers teased her until she was ready for him. He didn't even bother to fully take off his pants. He just pushed them down enough to be able to pull his erection out through his boxers so that he could thrust inside her. Her moans got louder as he thrusted faster until they both reached their climax. He rolled to her side. If anyone would have walked in they would have been quite a sight indeed. Her with her dress pushed up over her waist. Him with his pants open and his now flaccid manhood pulled out. Neither of them cared though it was about sex, and there would be no regrets as to the way they consummated their marriage. It would not have been them had they done it the way other people would have.


	31. My Old Friend

**Real life sucks. I don't have much more to say than that. I hope you all enjoy the update.**

**I do not own.**

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><p><em>January<em>

"Hello uninsured sick people of New Jersey!" House called out to the crowd of stuffy noses and sexually transmitted disease afflicted. There was not a single thing he disliked more than working his time in the clinic. Actually that was a little harsh. He probably disliked being told he was wrong more than he disliked clinic, but that really wasn't the point. The point was that his time could be better spent trying to top his high scores on his PSP than treating the sick fools who couldn't find a way to get insurance and bring themselves to an actual practice for their sniffles and crotch rot. Just because he didn't have a case at the moment didn't mean that his free time should be spent here no matter what his contract said. That was why he had devised this plan.

His boss/wife of almost a year was completely unaware that the nanny that took care of Gwen after she returned home from her half day of preschool called him to say that she was sick this morning. Apparently she had tried to call Cuddy's office, but being the important Dean of Medicine that his woman was he deduced that she must have been in a meeting (she had also probably mentioned it at one point or another, but yeah he couldn't remember. She said lots of stuff how could he possibly keep up). A sick nanny meant that little Gwen needed to be picked up from preschool by one of her parents. Now being the loving and devoted dad that he was, House was more than happy to pick up his little spawn. He was also more than happy to use it to his advantage. He was pretty sure that this was going to be one of his more memorable stunts when his wife found out, and he sure couldn't wait for her to find out about it. The fun didn't really start until she started to yell.

"My name is Dr. Gregory House. This little sprout here," He stated while placing his hand down on top of his daughter's head, "Is Gwen House." A small smile crossed his face when he said her name. It never did get old. The adoption had been finalized a month after his marriage, and even though he didn't make a huge deal out of it he was proud that his little girl finally carried his last name, "Today is a special day. Today Gwen is going to do her first round in the clinic! You see I figure since a chimp with a stethoscope could diagnose your colds and stds that my little girl would be even better than that. Not only does she have opposable thumbs, but she also won't shed on you. How does that sound?" He flashed them a smug and amused smile as he stared into the shocked and outraged faces. Sometime during his speech one of the nurses and gained the attention of Cuddy and now she was storming towards him with a look of disbelief playing on her face.

"House!" She bellowed, "Are you insane? Not only is taking Gwen on clinic rounds against patient privacy rules it is opening her up to all sorts of colds and diseases! Get your ass in my office this instant!"

Little Gwen for her part in all of this had no idea what her father was up to. All she knew was that they would be spending the day together. When her mother showed up she was instantly beaming. Being used to her parents arguments she was not shocked by her mom yelling. Instead she ran up and hugged her legs, "Hi mamma! I made a doggie with the play doe at school today!" The learning part of school was boring for Gwen. While other children were still trying to read cat and write out the basic letters of the alphabet Gwen was reading to her parents at night instead of the other way around and learning to write out the medical terms her father was teaching her. She had no idea what they were but she could write them. Having highly intelligent parents did come to an advantage sometimes.

Cuddy looked down abruptly when she felt Gwen's arms come around her. She often wondered if it made them bad parents with how often they bickered in front of her. The only solace she found was that she seemed to not even really notice it. She smiled broadly and ran a hand through her daughter's long, dark locks, "That sounds like a lot of fun, baby girl." She knew that they needed to find a more challenging program for Gwen next year. For now though she was happy to at least have her socializing. She and House did their best to challenge her at home intellectually. Everything for the time being, was pretty ok.

She looked towards the group of patients in the lobby who had just been sitting and staring. She nodded a little, "I am so sorry for your wait. A doctor will be with you shortly, and I apologize for Dr. House's theatrics. He thinks he is a lot more funny than he really is." With that she shot a glare at House to let him know that he should follow and took Gwen's little hand in hers walking them over to her office.

House couldn't have whipped the amused smile off his face if he tried. He knew much better than this. Deep down she thought his stunt was funny. His smile grew bigger when the name on her office door came into view. Dr. Lisa Cuddy-House. It struck him once again just how easily things had all slid into place. He was one lucky bastard.

Inside the safety of her office she encouraged Gwen to sit up on the couch before rounding on House, "This has got to be one of the most moronic stunts you have ever pulled!" She stated, throwing her hands up in the air utterly exasperated.

House rolled his eyes, "Oh please. This doesn't even make the top ten. I could see you saying that if I had had Gwen handing out condoms at the door or something, but all I did was announce that she would be making rounds in the clinic. I didn't even have her do it. It was just funny. No harm no foul."

"Those people come here expecting professionalism and respect. You gave them neither of those things. You never do. I don't know why you give me such a hard time about clinic duty!"

House moved towards her and placed his hands on her hips, "Why are we still playing this game? Over and over we fight over the clinic. You know I hate the clinic. This won't ever change, and I will keep doing shit like this until you stop making me come down here. Lets just skip over the fighting go straight to the making up." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her and pulled her closer.

She clicked her tongue and glared a little before pulling back, "In case you haven't noticed your daughter is in the room." She gestured over to Gwen who was currently engrossed in flipping through one of her mother's medical journals to look at the pictures.

House shrugged and attempted to pull her back to him, "She isn't even paying attention to us. She always tunes us out until we are done biting each other's heads off. It is her coping mechanism, and it actually comes in real handy."

Cuddy slapped his hands away and placed them on her hips, "And you think that is normal?"

"I think that that is what makes her our kid. If she thought we were REALLY fighting I am sure she would be upset."

Cuddy waved that off, "You got me off subject!" She let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head, "What is she even doing here?"

"Marina is sick." He told her with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Lovely." Cuddy moved back a little so that she could lean up against her desk, "Well... Since you don't have a case I guess you could just take her home with you now, but I am still pissed about your little show out there!" She was trying to sound stern, but in reality her anger had already subsided. He knew it and she knew he knew it. He was right. Of all the things he had done over the years this didn't even show up on the radar.

He moved over to her with a fake little pout playing his lips, "I'm very very sorry. Will you ever forgive me?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes, "Oh shut the hell up." She whispered before placing a swift kiss on his lips. When he pulled back from her she decided to ingore the smug smile he had and instead focused on Gwen, "Gwen." She waited until she was sure she had gotten the four year old's attention before continuing on, "Daddy is going to take you home now. Come give me a hug. I will be home in a few hours."

Gwen immediately hopped up off of the couch and ran over to hug her mother, "Ok mamma! I love you!"

Cuddy smiled and returned the hug, "I love you too. Have fun with daddy."

Gwen took hold of her father's hand and nodded, "Oh I will!"

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><p>The sound of his feet hitting against the pavement as he ran was seemed to be the only noise being made in the little portion of suburbia that he and Cuddy lived in. House had spent his afternoon playing with Gwen, listening to her read, cooking supper, eating that supper with his family, then topping off the night having sex with his wife in the shower of their master bathroom after putting their daughter to bed. If asked two years ago if he would thought he would be happily married to Lisa Cuddy he would have laughed right in that person's face. Even though they had Gwen in common they seemed impossible as a couple. Constant bickering. Extreme power plays. Why did it take so long for them to admit that what made them seem so impossible was just foreplay. They worked so well together. They were two pieces of one very complicated puzzle, but the way they fit made it so damn easy. He could hardly believe how lucky he truly was. He had been without pain in his leg for almost a full year now. He had been married for nearly just as long. Sex almost every night with a woman who was madly in love with him. A little girl who thought he was her absolute best friend and super hero. He had a job he loved and a best friend who was happy to serve as his break from married life should he feel claustrophobic and overly domesticated from time to time. It was perfect.<p>

Too perfect.

A little over two miles into his run House felt a stab of pain in his leg for the first time in over a year. He immediately stopped and bent over to rub his hand over the afflicted muscle. This couldn't be happening. Not again. He couldn't handle the pain coming back. Not now.

Of course it would happen. Of course he couldn't really be happy. The pain radiating in his thigh was there to remind him that life could never be perfect. Greg House just wasn't meant for happiness.

His mind immediately went back to the home he had ran from, but instead of thinking of his sleeping wife or daughter, he thought about the bottle of Vicodin that was stashed away in his study. Is life preserver that had always been laying dormant waiting to save him should the ketamine ever wear off. He couldn't let Cuddy find out about the pain. She would worry and he knew it. No, he would deal with this on his own. Maybe if he was lucky this would just be a one time thing.

Greg House was not a lucky man.

So with his mind intent on returning home to his bottle, House walked slowly back home.


	32. This I Promise You

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**Onward we go to the next chapter.**

**I do not own.**

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><p>A week had passed since that day in the clinic. Cuddy couldn't help, but notice that something was wrong with House. He had been distant blaming it all on his latest case. Logically she knew that he did get like this from time to time. It was no uncommon for House to lose himself in his puzzles. He would often stay late with his patient only to return home to their bed for a few hours before having to leave again later in the morning. She couldn't put a finger on it, but this time just felt different.<p>

Most of the blame could probably be laid on the fact that he seemed to be limping again. It was slight, but it was still noticeable. Every time she tried to approach the subject House would deflect. She didn't want to believe that if the pain was back that he would be hiding it, but all signs pointed to this being exactly the case. She had talked to Wilson about her concerns only to find out that he had already attempted to talk to House as well. It was really no surprise that neither of them could get him to budge. When he didn't want to talk about something there would be absolutely no one who could get him out of his shell. She knew that she needed to let him come around in his own time, but the part of her that felt the need to take care of him worried that if he went back on Vicodin it would be worse this time. She couldn't lose him to the addiction. She refused to.

The ringing of her phone brought her out of her thoughts, "Dr. Cuddy." She paused and waited while the person on the other end of the line explained their news, "Are you sure?" Another pause, "No of course, it is fine that you called. Yes you saved me some time, I have a meeting in ten minutes." Another pause, "Thank you. I appreciate that. Goodbye."

Cuddy placed the phone back in its cradle and leaned back in her chair. It was amazing what one phone call could change. It was another thing in the line of things she needed to discuss with House.

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><p>At noon House busted into Wilson's office, slightly disappointed that he didn't seem to be interrupting something, "Good afternoon Dr. Wilson. How are you on this fine day?" He asked with a fake cheerful voice, planting himself down in a chair in front of the desk.<p>

"I am working on a chart House. What do you want?" His attempt to talk to House yet again this morning had left him more than a little annoyed. He had thought that after House had found happiness with Cuddy that he might be a little more easy to deal with. Obviously that was not true. He was still being stubborn. It was clear to everyone that something was going on with his leg. If it was just beginning maybe they could find him a pain management program. If he waited it would only be worse. He did not want that for his friend.

"Acceptance. Love. Lunch. The same as everyone else." He thumped his cane on the ground then let out a sigh when the noise did not garner the full attention of his friend who was still working on his chart, "I need a prescription for Vicodin."

That one statement finally gained Wilson's full attention, "So you are admitting your leg hurts?"

House answered but refused to meet his friend's eye, "It started last week."

"Are you sure you aren't just experiencing regular leg cramps. You run almost everyday, and you aren't exactly a spring chicken anymore."

House shook his head, "No, I know what everyday leg pain feels like. This is the pain from before the ketamine. I know my leg. I know this pain." He despised discussing this outloud. If he hadn't of run out of Vicodin, this conversation would have never occurred. He cursed himself for slowing getting rid of his stashes through his painless year. It had been such a stupid move.

Wilson nodded, "Well.. House there are alternatives to Vicodin. We could get you into a pain management program. Get you set up for some P.T. to keep up your muscle from further atrophy."

House shot him a glare and leaned forward in his chair, "I did not come here for you to try and save me. This was bound to happen eventually. Vicodin manages my pain. As for P.T. if that had worked the pain would not have come back." He gripped his cane tighter as his gaze fell down to the carpet, "It feels like someone is continually stabbing me in the leg. I can not live like this. Please just write the script."

Wilson's face fell hearing what his friend had to say. The tug on his heartstrings was undeniable. He was going to cave, but he still had a bit of fight in him left, "What about Cuddy and Gwen?"

"What use to them am I if I am in so much pain I can barely stand to move?"

Wilson nodded. He knew that this was all taking a lot for House to admit. He reached inside his drawer and took out his prescription pad, "You need to tell Cuddy. She is worried about you."

House reached out and took the script from him cocking his head to one side curiously giving his friend an observant look, "You will tell her if I don't, won't you?"

"Yes." He answered simply.

House nodded and stood up ready to go and get his script filled, "I will tell her today."

* * *

><p>Cuddy put down her pen and rubbed her temples gently. Her worry over House had given her the beginnings of a headache. This was exactly what she needed at the end of a long day, a headache to take home with her.<p>

House pushed open the door to her office and frowned when he caught sight of her wincing in pain, "Headache?"

She nodded and began to gather her things, "Yeah."

He nodded as well and looked around the room at pretty much anything that wasn't his wife, "My leg pain is back." He told her in a quiet voice.

Her head popped up instantly to look at him letting his confession sink in for a moment before responding, "I'm pregnant."

This got him to fix her with his gaze as well. There was a long silence between them before he finally broke it, "Are you sure?"

"I had my regular check up with Dr. Cane earlier. She called to tell me the news. I thought I had been having my period these last two months, but it was just spotting from my body adjusting to the pregnancy. I am a little over two months along." She bit her lip and shook her head, "What are we going to do about your leg?"

"My leg?" He asked in a completely astonished voice, "I have Vicodin for my leg. The big question here is how the hell I missed this in you?"

"I missed it too, and it is my own body. We have been busy, I guess." She folded her hands under her chin and stared up at him, "Have you checked into pain management? Vicodin has such adverse affects in the long run." Her brow furrowed in worry, and he knew that she had a hell of a lot of emotions coursing through her right now.

"This is no different than before, Cuddy. Vicodin manages my pain. It is as simple as that. I had a good year with no pain, now my vacation is over. Lets focus on what is really important here." He moved over to her side and tugged on her arm to help her stand up. He placed his hand flat down on her stomach and gave her a little smile, "We are going to have another kid. How awesome is my sperm?"

She rolled her eyes, but could not hide the smile that fought its way on to her lips. She put her hand down on top of his choosing to not comment on his sperm, "So we are going to be ok?"

He nodded, "We were ok before, and we will be ok now. Better than ok now that we are going to give the world yet another genius House kid." Even as he said the words another searing pain shot through his leg letting him know that his words were useless. His life would never be ok, no matter how much he tried to convince his wife otherwise, but he ignored it choosing instead to focus on the beautiful smile Cuddy was giving him. He would not let his pain affect her or his children. He had gotten himself mixed up in the middle of her life. They had managed a relationship when he was in pain once. He would find a way to do it again. He had to.

Cuddy wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, "Just please talk to me if it gets worse. Let me be there for you."

House wrapped his arms around her waste and buried his face in her hair, "I promise." He lied.


	33. The Greater Good

**Keep leaving me all the love! My muse thanks you 3**

**I do not own**

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><p><em>Month three: February<em>

The more House tried to ignore the pain the more it seemed to hurt. He knew that Cuddy and Wilson were keeping close tabs on his Vicodin intake. They were worried that he would fall back into the bad habits of the past. They worried he would pop three to four pills at a time. Hoard them for a rainy day and get caught by another Tritter like patient. In general they were simply worried. He understood it to a point. It meant that they cared, but it also grated his nerves. Only he knew his pain. Only he could ever understood what it felt like to constantly feel as if he was being stabbed over and over again in the thigh. The muscle cramps and the flare ups. No one knew but him. How could they possibly say how much he should be taking in? If a higher dose took the edge off of his pain shouldn't that be what he should be taking? They had no idea what he was dealing with, and he was positive that if either of them even attempted to tell him it was psychosomatic he would completely lose it on them. Lucky for them, they had not said it yet.

Then again they probably hadn't said it because he was taking regular doses just as he should. Cuddy didn't need the stress. Being a little worried would be nothing like if she saw him popping pills like candy again. It would be the bad for the baby and bad for her. He couldn't do that to her. Because of his need to protect them that meant that he had to put on an act for everyone including Wilson. All they saw was him reasonably filling his meds and taking them on a tight schedule. They knew there was pain, but no one would know the extent if he could stop it.

The problem was that the regular doses were not cutting it. He could barely think. Walking was almost impossible, and he was about to lose his grip.

House sat in his office with the blinds shut and his ball clasped between his hands. Cuddy would be calling soon if he did not get moving. The kids already went home with their most recent case solved, but he couldn't bring himself to go home. The front he was putting on made him almost as exhausted as the pain did. He needed an answer. A fix. He couldn't get Vicodin from his team or Wilson. Cuddy would be bound to find out. There had to be another way.

A glance to his right gave him a view through his door out to Wilson's door. Through that door would be a drawer with a prescription pad. He had done it before. It would take little to no effort, but he also remembered what had happened when Wilson found out. Would he be so easily forgiven by his friend this time if he found out? Was it worth it? His thoughts immediately turned to Cuddy and Gwen. Doing this behind everyone's back was essential. They didn't need the worry. He could easily keep going and keep them happy if he could only keep his leg pain under control. This would be for his family. Not him. He needed this for them.

With all of that in mind he stood up and made his way across the balcony, over the wall, and into Wilson's office. He couldn't believe that Wilson was still so trusting that he would leave it unlocked after all they had both been through. His friend's trusting nature would always be in his favor. Soon he would be at Walgreens getting his script filled then he would be home with his family. Everything would be absolutely fine.

* * *

><p>Cuddy was not blind. She knew that things were harder for House. He was trying to mask his pain, but it wasn't working. His limp was more pronounced, and he could barely catch more than an hour or so of sleep. She tried talking to him, but he denied the changes in his pain emphatically. She couldn't force him to admit it, but she wished he would. Dr. Miller told her that he needed to deal with his pain on his own. He reminded her that he was not her responsibility. He was a grown man. He had to handle himself. Obviously Dr. Miller had never been married. House's pain was her pain. She wanted to help him. She needed to help him, but she had no way of forcing him.<p>

She felt a tug on her sleeve and looked down at Gwen who was cuddle up against her, "You are missing the movie, Mommy." Gwen told her with a concerned tone. They had settled down after dinner to watch Toy Story while waiting for the man of the house to finally make his way home.

She smiled a little and pulled Gwen a little tighter against her, "Sorry, baby girl. I got distracted." She forced herself to focus back on the animated toys trying to break out of a crane machine, but it was torn away again when House came through the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" He declared before tossing his backpack haphazardly in the hallway.

"Daddy!" Gwen shrieked. She peeled herself away from her mother in favor of running to her father for a hug.

House scooped down and pulled her up for a hug with a grunt, "Hey Squirt." He ambled over to the couch with his daughter in tote. He collapsed next to Cuddy and rolled his eyes at her appalled look, "I can hug my daughter if I want to."

Cuddy glared a little, "This is not about a hug. This is about you carrying a thirty five pound little girl."

Gwen frowned and settled back against her father on his good leg, "I wouldn't hurt him."

Cuddy reached out and ran a hand through her hair, "I know that, but daddy shouldn't be carrying you. It isn't good for his leg."

House looked down awkwardly, "I was just happy to see her. It was a good day today." He mumbled his lie.

Cuddy immediately felt the guilt rush through her, "I just worry about you."

House nodded and put his arm around her shoulders drawing her into his side, "We will talk about it later."

Gwen looked up between her two parents, "You're ok, aren't you daddy?"

House smiled down on her and brought his free hand up to mess up her hair, "Course I am, squirt."

* * *

><p>When Gwen was finally put to bed Cuddy moved into the bedroom to join her husband who was already laying down under the covers, "Was it really a good day? It did not seem like that earlier at work."<p>

House immediately pulled her to him when she joined him under the covers, "Our daughter is asleep. Your hormones are in hyper drive. Do you really want to be talking right now?" He let an evil grin cross his lips and his hand wander up her tank top to her breasts. He leaned over and began to kiss on her neck sufficiently distracting her for a moment.

Cuddy closed her eyes and let herself get momentarily lost in his remonstrations. He was right, her hormones were on his side, but she refused to give in completely just yet. She pushed his hand down and moved her neck away from him, "Talk to me, House." Her eyes pleaded with him needing some reassurance.

He sighed and shook his head, "The pain is getting back to baseline. It has been slow but it is. I am guessing that it was just flared up after the ketamine wore off." He met her eyes showing her that he was not ashamed. The lie rolled off his tongue so easily. He found himself counting the seconds until she caved and believed him. 1...2...3... And there was the small smile that let him know his version of the truth had been believed.

Cuddy moved his hand back up to her breast and leaned over to kiss him, "I am glad you are feeling better. I know sticking to the regular doses has been hard."

Her belief in him stung somewhere within him, but that small part was ignored completely. His lie was for the greater good after all. He smiled back at her and gave her breast a squeeze, "It has been. Lucky for me my smoking hot wife is willing to reward me handsomely."

The moment she rolled over on top of him he knew that the last thing either of them would be thinking about for the rest of the night would be his pain.


	34. Imperfect perfection

**Josam, sorry for the confusion. Earlier in the story when Cuddy starts her therapy they had their combat with Tritter. I do not follow the show timeline. There will be times when I borrow situations from the show and put them into my world, but it will not be in order. So just bare with me. I always indicate jumps in time (which is actually happening far more than I originally thought due to the new direction of the story). I hope you can figure it out, and again I am sorry for any confusion.**

**And now the Sunday installment xD**

**Reviews are always welcome!**

**Remember that I do not own. I am merely borrowing characters and scenarios**.

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><p><em>Month Five: April<em>

"Of all of the irresponsible idiotic reckless things you could have done!" Cuddy was yelling. She could actually feel her blood pressure rising. House had really outdone himself this time. Not only did he start out by hitting a patient out in front of their house causing him to have to take this case, now he had added hitting the father of the patient to his list of stupidity this week. She could already see the lawsuit that would be flung their way. She should probably be used to it by now, but lawsuits made her nervous. Not only would there be the possibility of losing hospital money, but every time House got in trouble her judgement came into question. She hated that. She never wanted anyone to think that her marriage got in the way of her ability to make decisions for her hospital. The hospital was just as much a part of her family in her eyes as Gwen or House if House did something truly above and beyond his normal scope it would be hard to execute the right punishment, but she had confidence that she could do it. She wanted her board to have just as much confidence in her as she did.

House for his part was watching his wife carefully. Her small baby bump had driven her out of tight shirts and pencil skirts into dresses. He certainly didn't mind it so much. They showed off her little bump instead of hiding it gathering just below her breasts and falling down over it. Today was a black dress he especially liked. The v-neck showed off his favorite twins to perfection especially with their new found growth. He found that he was loving her pregnancy. Her breasts were growing, her hormones were high, and he could not get enough of the proof that once again he and Lisa Cuddy had come together and created life. Not so much because he wanted another kid, not that he was against it. He loved Gwen and he knew he would love the second baby. More to the point her pregnancy proved that he did in fact have sex with the hot as hell Dean of Medicine and that she was and forever would be his. Hell yeah.

Unfortunately due to her current state he was having to only briefly appreciate all her gorgeous curves and focus on the rage rising in her. Elevated blood pressure was not good for the baby at all. It could cause eclampsia among other things. He needed to calm her down before anything happened that she would regret.

He used his cane to help haul himself up off of the couch and moved over to her doors closing all of her blinds.

Cuddy watched him then scoffed when he closed them, "If you think you are getting any sort of 'action' in here House you are sorely mistaken."

House ignored that comment for the time being and moved over to stand behind her. She attempted to turn and confront him, but he stopped her from doing so by grabbing her shoulders and holding her still. He allowed her to let out a few huffs of annoyance then moved his hands down her arms to her stomach rubbing over it in small circles.

It was incredibly hard to stay annoyed with him when he was doting on her pregnant bell. She sighed and closed her eyes, "House I am talking business with you. This is no time to act like the doting father."

"I am the doting father." He insisted moving his head down so that he could lean it against the side of her's, "I am also the concerned husband. You know yourself that your blood pressure was rising. You were also overreacting." He felt her begin to protest but cut her off at the pass, "Yes I was an ass. Yes I provoked him, but he hit me first. In the end I will win. It definitely did not warrant such an outraged response. This was mild in comparison to my other stunts. Your hormones just amplified it. Normally I would just let you vent, but I couldn't chance your blood pressure. Now we can just get you calm. The lawyers will deal with my case if the patient's dad sues, and we will head over to your OB appointment to find out the sex of our baby. This is all going to be just fine, but first you have to calm yourself down." He was speaking in an even calm tone letting her settle back against him while he kept up the circles over the swell of her stomach.

Cuddy listened to him, and though she did not agree at all that she had over reacted it was hard not to let a smile creep across her lips. Her husband was just being loving and caring. For once he wasn't trying to get out of trouble. He was trying to take care of her. How could she turn her back on that?

"You are right about my blood pressure. It was getting high, but I think it is good now." Her smile broadened when she felt two little feet starting to kick against her abdomen, "I think someone likes daddy's attention."

"Since when is your squish mitten counted as a someone? OUCH!" He exclaimed when she reached up and pinched his arm, "Alright alright! I feel it to you know. Of course he like's his daddy's attention. Even as a fetus he knows that his daddy is tha man."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "It could be another girl you know."

House shook his head, "No way. My sperm would not allow me to be surrounded by so many women. They took care of this for me. I trust them."

Cuddy scrunched her nose up and turned her head so he could see her disgusted face, "You are talking like you have a personal relationship with your sperm."

House scoffed at her in disbelief, "You talk as if you don't! You encounter it multiple times a day!"

"This conversation ends now." As if to back up her statement Dancing Queen started playing inside House's pants, "Saved by Wilson."

House fished out his phone with one hand but left his other on her abdomen still feeling the kicks of their incubating child, "My ring tone for you is Baby Got Back." He informed her before flipping open his cell phone, "Wilson this had better be important! I was giving my woman her daily dose of mid morning delight."

"Sure you were, House." Even though she could barely hear Wilson the disbelief in his voice was beyond noticeable. Nobody believed half of what House said when it came to their sex life, which was good since most of it was true. She continued to listen as Wilson went on, "The tests are about to come back on the father of your patient."

House nodded even though he knew Wilson couldn't see, "Ok I will be right up." He hung up the phone then planted a kiss on Cuddy's neck, "Got to go. I will meet you in the parking garage at three for our ultrasound date." He still thought it was silly that Cuddy refused to use the hospital OB, but he wasn't totally against it. Cuddy wanted her privacy, and he wanted for the bets on the baby to be unobstructed by curious doctors with access to the medical records.

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><p>Cuddy layed completely still on top of the exam table with her shirt pulled up and her pants pushed down to expose her abdomen. She had changed into a pair of jogging pants and a red shirt before the appointment so that she would be more comfortable and so that her stomach would be easily accessible for the ultrasound.<p>

Dr. Elias warned her that the gel would be cold then applied it. As he used the wand to search for the fetus House gave Cuddy's hand a squeeze, "Remember I am banking on a stud here."

Cuddy rolled her eyes a little, "Yes House. I am well aware you think it will be a boy. Just give it a few minutes and we will know for sure."

Even as she said it the image of her baby spoke loud and proud for both parents to see.

It was a boy.

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><p>Gwen sat in between her parents on the couch staring at her mother's abdomen, "so I have a brother in there?" She asked curiously. Ever since her parents had told her that she would have a brother or a sister growing inside her mother's belly she had been so confused. Sure she had seen the pictures her momma had of when she was a baby inside her tummy, but it was still so weird. How was there enough room, and how did he get in there?<p>

House nodded in confirmation, "That's right squirt. You are going to have a baby brother."

Gwen looked up at him briefly then back at her mother, "If you say so..." She had ventured all her questions about how a baby got in there in the first place, but it had not gotten anywhere. Daddy seemed plenty willing to tell her, but momma had stopped him. She said that when she got older she would explain.

"What's his name? When will he come out of momma's belly?" Gwen reached out and ran her hand over her mother's stomach. She was fascinated. She had often been told that she had her father's curiosity. All she knew was that she wished she was old enough to get her answers.

Cuddy looked over at House, "Well we don't really have a name picked out yet..."

House shook his head, "Evan." He stated simply.

Cuddy instantly beamed, "You want to name our baby after Wilson?" She could have just gushed. House didn't like to show it, but he was so grateful for his friend.

House rolled his eyes, "Don't make a big deal about it. It will be bad enough when Wilson finds out."

Cuddy laughed a little but let him have that, "Well if Wilson gets the first name I would like his middle name to be Wayne. It is my father's middle name."

House sighed dramatically, "Cuddy if we name the kid after your father he will think we like him."

Cuddy shot her husband a stern look, but it was Gwen who spoke up, "I love Papa, daddy." She seemed disappointed that he should even suggest her grandfather could be anything other than thoroughly adored.

House looked at his daughter's big eyes and gave a resigned huff, "Yeah I guess he is okay. We can let him have the middle name."

Cuddy shook her head then bent over and picked up a shopping bag, "I got you something Gwen." She watched with a smile as her daughter pulled out a shirt that said 'I'm a big sister' on the front. She knew that all the talk about the baby could potentially make her feel left out, but she refused to let her daughter feel anything other than loved.

Gwen beamed up at her mother and hugged her tightly, "I love my shirt Momma! Thank you!" She loved getting presents in general, and the lettering on the shirt was colorful and pretty. She wasn't quite attached to her brother yet. After all he was nothing more than a bump in her mother's stomach that she didn't quite understand, but she figured she would learn to love him when he got out.

House pulled Gwen off of Cuddy with a pout, "Hey! I was there when she got the shirt!"

Gwen giggled and hugged her father as well, "Thank you Daddy!"

Cuddy stood up and held out her hand to Gwen, "Come on Gwen. You can help me with Supper. We are having pancakes."

House quirked an eyebrow at that, "Pancakes?"

"I am having a craving." She shrugged and walked off to the kitchen with her daughter in tote.

House watched in appreciation of his wife's ass as she walked off. The exam today had been perfect and problem free. Evan Wayne House was well on his way to joining their little family. His patient was on the mend. Life was good.

His smile of contentment was soon wiped away by a shooting pain in his thigh. The muscle was cramping to the point that made him want to scream out in agony. He carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out his bottle. He took extra care not to rattle the bottle to much should he draw his wife's attention away from the kitchen to have her notice his extra intake of medicine. He waited a few minutes then sighed when the pain finally subsided thanks to the three extra tablets of Vicodin.

He should have known that the pain would never let anything be to good for too long. Life was never ever as perfect as it seemed.


	35. Shower You With Attention

**I know I have been taking a lot longer to update. SORRY PEEPS! I will try to do better by you.**

**I do not own. Enjoy.**

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><p><em>Seventh Month: June<em>

"Are all systems go?" Wilson asked his partner in crime on the other end of the telephone line.

House was in his office with his feet propped up and the phone resting in between his cheek and his shoulder. He really did not understand how he had gotten involved in all of Wilson's plans. Apparently Wilson had felt bad that Cuddy did not have that many female friends, and he felt even more bad that none of the few she had seemed to think she deserved a baby shower. To House it did not add up that his guilt should be pushed off on him forcing him to help in his scheming. Surely he was close enough to the nursing staff that he would be able to pull this off without assistance of a cripple that no one but his best friend and family could stand. Wilson did not seem to agree to that way of thinking, and he flat out refused to let him off the hook. It was unfair, and House was not happy about it in the least. He did not need to throw a shower on top of all his husbandly duties at home.

Cuddy was beginning to reach the point of no return, not that there had really been a point that they could have turned around at anyway. Her ankles were swollen and her back was killing her. She had gained at least ten pounds in a week. The woman was huge. He had also unfortunately made that comment out loud one day. After that he had spent an entire hour calming down a crying Cuddy and insisting that he was still attracted to her, which was not a lie. Pregnant or not she was still Cuddy just larger in certain places. Those larger parts did not stop him getting hot and heavy with his wife. They just had to get creative, and by creative that meant oral. Lucky for him his woman gave one hell of a blow job. People who dared to ask if he regretted marrying Cuddy had obviously never been with her in bed, which was good since he didn't feel like getting arrested for assault any time soon.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." House lied. If Wilson insisted on involving him in this the least he could do was to give him a hard time.

"House the shower is today! Stop messing around and tell me if you have done your part!" In front of Wilson were lists of guests, games to be played, and confirmation from the caterer who was about to arrive in fifteen minutes to set up in the conference room. This could all be perfect if only House would play his part.

House rolled his eyes even though his friend could not see him, "Look commander Wilson, leader of the gayest army in all of New Jersey, Cuddy has been gone for ten minutes and will for sure be gone for an hour and a half. so go off and take care of your thing. She will be fine."

"How did you get her to leave?" Wilson asked curiously, completely ignoring the jab at his sexuality. House knew good and well that he was dating Amber. There was no reason to give into his bait.

"I paid off one of the donors to insist on a lunch meeting with her."

That made Wilson laugh, "You paid off one of those guys that you are always saying are hitting on Cuddy? There is something odd about you paying off people who give money to your wife."

"I paid off an eighty year old man. He can hit on her all he wants, but he will need her to fill out a prescription for viagra if they want to get it on."

"That was disgusting. I never should have asked." Wilson started to gather up his things while giving out his final instructions, "I will call you when we are ready, then you bring her up to the conference room."

"Wilson, this is a baby shower, not rocket science. I know what to do." With that he hung up the phone not willing to give Wilson a chance to bite back. He was thoroughly tired of the shower plans.

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><p>Cameron walked into his office about twenty minutes before the shower with a gift in her hand. House cocked his head to the side and looked at her curiously, "The staging area for the gifts is in the conference room. Not my office. I know you are not incredibly smart, but I though you could figure out the difference on your own."<p>

Cameron ignored the jab and walked up to stand at the side of his chair looking down on him, "This is for you." She answered quietly, setting down the gift on the desk.

House quirked an eyebrow and examined the gift, "Really now?" He asked as he raised his gaze up to her, "This is not customary. The gifts are supposed to be for the son, not the father."

"Just open it." She insisted, "I saw it and I thought of you."

House decided to go ahead and do as she asked since he was curious as to what would remind her of him anyway. A moment later he was pulling out a motorcycle helmet adorned with flames that would match his cane. He set the helmet down on the desk and stared at it, "I will admit it is a bitchin helmet, but you know I haven't ridden in a long time." A mixture of the pain in his leg, and the fact that neither his pregnant wife nor his daughter could ride with him had kept him from his bike for many months now. He had been so focused on hiding his pain and keeping everyone happy that he hadn't even really noticed its absence in his life.

"I know you haven't, but I think you should. That bike is a part of who you are. Just because Cuddy would like to see you stop doesn't mean you should. You deserve to do whatever makes you happy." Cameron desperately explained. She wanted her boss to be happy. She wanted him to see that he wasn't in fact happy, that the changes he had made had indeed changed him. She wanted the man who had stolen her heart to give her the chance to steal his right back. It might not have been right, and she would never say it out loud. She just could not help the way she felt.

House stood up slowly letting his leg adjust and her words to properly sink in. After he was good on his feet he looked at her with a stern expression, "You came in here on the day of the baby shower being thrown for my wife accusing her of trying to take something away from me that you think I need. When has anyone ever said that Cuddy told me to stop riding? Maybe in the back of her mind she has thought it, but she has never said anything along those lines to me. It is my choice not to ride. I hadn't even really noticed its absence. I have a daughter too young to ride on it, and a wife big and pregnant who would be in danger should she attempt to ride it. So instead of giving up riding places with my family, I gave up riding my bike." He took a step closer to get in her face, "You live in this delusion that you are so in love with me, and that you are the only one who understands me. You are wrong. You want me to stay the exact same way I was so that you can try to fix me. You thought I was broken, and you were right. The problem is that you are not the one who fixed me. Cuddy did. The same woman you accuse of taking from me has only ever given to me. She gave me a life, and a reason to wake up in the morning. So take back your damn present, and stay the hell away from my wife's baby shower. You are not welcome. Any person who can be so selfish as to want to take away or change the only good thing in my life does not need to be there."

House walked away leaving Cameron slack jawed and teary eyed. He knew he had been harsh, but he was tired of her misguided crush. She needed to be taught a lesson, and now he needed to go and deliver his wife to her party.

* * *

><p>"House, please don't tell me you have don't tell me I have to go mediate a fight for you. After the lunch I just had, I am really not in the mood." Cuddy sighed as her husband dragged her along by her hand. She had just left lunch with the world's most boring man who still found it in himself to hit on her.<p>

"Just wait, okay?" House pulled her into the conference then held her steady when she almost jumped back out of the door when her coworkers and friends jumped out to surprise her.

After the surprise ebbed she was beaming. She looked up at House, "Did you do this?"

"House shook his head, "Hell no. I just assisted. Wilson covered all this." He explained gesturing to the man who was making his way to them with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Are you surprised?" Wilson questioned Cuddy.

Cuddy grabbed his face and kissed his cheek, "This is the sweetest thing. Thank you so much! Of course I am surprised!"

House pulled her away from him and put his arm around her shoulder, "That is enough of that. Just enjoy your party."

And she did. Though he would never admit to it, so did House. He stayed close to her side and watched as others showered her with gifts for the baby and stupid games that he refused to participate in. All in all it had been a productive day. Cuddy got her party, and House hopefully got rid of Cameron's crush. Who could have asked for better?


	36. This is the Day

**I do not own, and I have nothing to say.**

* * *

><p><em>Eighth Month: July 7th<em>

"HOUSE!" The sheer panic in Cuddy's voice cut through their home like a knife.

House did what would best be described as a speed limp from Gwen's room, where he had been playing mario with her on her tv, into the kitchen where is wife was standing in the middle of the room with a puddle of water at her feet. Had this not been such a serious moment the image of her holding a jar of peanut butter with a spoon sticking out of it while she was essentially crying rivers would have been rather amusing. But as the case was his wife was hunkered deep down in panic mode, and he needed to get her to the hospital. He didn't have to be an OB GYN to understand that her water just broke.

He moved over to her side and took her arm, "Calm down, Cuddy. Lets get you in the car. You already have the bag packed and ready to go in the trunk. Your anal emergency preparedness has helped out yet again. You should be happy."

Cuddy shook her head and refused to budge, "It is too soon! Gwen made it the full nine months. Hell! She had even been late! I'm not ready! I don't want to go! House make it stop, please!" Her voice was pleading with him, and it was obvious to House that her hormones were working in overtime here. She was panicked, and he needed to calm her down before he had to deliver their son in the kitchen.

House removed himself from her side and came up behind her instead. He wrapped his arms around her resting his hands on her stomach much like he had done so many months before in her office. He rubbed circles on her stomach and rested his head on her shoulder leaning it against her cheek, "Lisa, listen to me." It was so rare that he used her first name, but he needed her undivided attention, "Eight months along is not the ultimate goal, but you and I both know that your age was bound to up the chances of an earlier delivery. we saw him on the ultrasound. He is fully developed and it would be perfectly safe to deliver right now. This is your hormones. This is not you. The doctor inside of you knows better. She knows we need to get to that hospital so that we can see our son. So take a few deep breaths, calm down, and wipe your eyes so that we don't scare Gwen." It took a few moments, but finally Cuddy's breathing settled down. She was still nervous, but his words had sunk in somehow. He always knew how to find her even when she was lost deep inside herself.

Cuddy put her hands over his and closed her eyes, "Okay. Lets go see our son."

House kissed her cheek and moved away so he could smile at her, a genuine smile that was meant only for her, "That's the spirit!"

* * *

><p>Four hours later Evan Wayne House was welcomed into the House family. At six and a half pounds he was smaller than his sister at birth, but it was to be expected. Much to his mother's delight he was perfectly healthy.<p>

House had been with her the entire time while Gwen stayed out in the waiting room with Wilson. He was not quite ready to retrieve what would probably be a very large crowd gathered outside waiting for them. Instead he stayed in the chair right by Cuddy's bed holding onto his tiny son. He had not been able to have this with Gwen, and he couldn't help but silently wonder at their instant bond. He had felt it with Gwen in a way, but this was so much more intense. He had been there for it all. He had loved his son even when he was in the womb. He had a better understanding for expectant parents now, not that it would probably change a thing.

Cuddy had a sleepy smile on her face as she watched her husband stare down on their son, "Its amazing isn't it?" She asked quietly, breaking the silence that had been with them for a while now.

House nodded, but did not take his eyes off of Evan, "Of course he is. Look at his parents."

"I love you, House."

House finally looked up at the woman who had given him her everything. She had taken his world and made it so much better. She made the pain worth enduring just so that he could be in her orbit. Lisa Ann Cuddy-House was his, and he was hers. I love you was not near enough to express how he felt for her, but he said the words anyway hoping that they would at least relay half of what he felt for her, and after he said it he leaned carefully across the bed to kiss his beautiful wife.

Evan squeaked in protest at the movement, and both parents laughed focusing back on him. At that moment he briefly opened his eyes wide enough for the first time to give his father a 'what the hell, dad?' look, and when he did House instantly smiled, "He has your eyes." He had no way to explain how much that pleased him. Cuddy may love his eyes, but she had no idea how amazing her own light blue eyes were.

Cuddy shrugged a little, "That could change."

"Did Gwen's?" He countered, knowing full well that Gwen had had his own baby blues from birth.

"No." She conceded.

"Get used to it then, Cuddy. These eyes are here to stay." Cuddy would have answered back, but Wilson and Gwen came barreling into the room as if the hospital was on fire.

"House!" Wilson fussed, "How could you not tell us? I go for an update and they tell me he has been born for almost an hour now." Even as he fussed Cuddy's family had filed in as well as House's team, sans Cameron.

House shook his head, "This exactly why I didn't tell you. Cuddy is too tired for all of you to be in here."

"It's fine, House." Cuddy countered, "He is their family too." She received hugs from her family as well as Wilson and the team while Gwen was too focused on standing by her father staring at her sibling to give her hugs just yet.

"There are at least four people in this room that that does not apply to, but whatever." He let the crowd focus on Cuddy while he looked down on Gwen, "What do you think of your brother?"

Gwen's curious eyes went from her brother to her father then back again, "He is tiny, daddy. How is he supposed to play with me?"

House chuckled, "That will come later. Until then you just have to help us out with him, okay? You have to be a good older sister."

Gwen didn't get to help out a lot. Her mother often told her she was too small for so many things, so she took this assignment very seriously. She bent down and placed a small kiss on her brother's forehead, "Hi Evan. I'm going to help take care of you okay?" Evan's only response was to yawn which made Gwen giggle, "Awww he is cute, daddy!"

House shot her a fake glare, "He is not cute. He is devastatingly handsome like his old man."

"You just called yourself old daddy!" Gwen responded causing herself to fall into another fit of giggles.

* * *

><p>Hours later Blythe and John arrived after boarding a flight last minute. Blythe immediately walked in and attached herself to Lisa with a hug, "I am so happy for you both! I can't believe I have another grandchild!"<p>

Gwen went over to Blythe and hugged on her leg, "Hi Oma!" She was not about to be left out of all the attention.

Blythe smiled and bent down to pick her up and hug her, "Hi baby! How do you feel about your new brother?"

"He is nice I guess." She answered with a shrug, "He sleeps a lot."

Everyone in the room laughed except for John who was leaning against the wall and staring at his son who was holding Evan. Finally he spoke up, "Aren't you going to get up and greet your family?"

House wanted to bite back that his family had never been gone, but there was no point. He didn't want to upset Cuddy. So instead he leaned over and handed Evan off to Cuddy not wanting to chance standing up with his newborn.

Seeing the exchange John snorted in disgust, "You can't even stand up with your son?"

Cuddy was the one to snap before House could, "It is a safety precaution. He is concerned for Evan's safety. He could do it. It would just be hard and possibly harmful. I think even you can appreciate that."

Blythe looked beseechingly at John, "Please don't." She begged. She did not want to be kicked out before she had even had a chance to hold her newest grandchild.

House said nothing. Instead he just walked out with every intention to go to his office. His leg was screaming in pain, and he had already had his allotted dose of Vicodin an hour ago. He knew it would be safe to take it in the dark of his office. Cuddy would give him some space after what his father said, and she was bed bound anyway. If he was lucky his parents would be back at their hotel soon enough.

* * *

><p>In the safety of his office he immediately set himself down into his eames chair. He took out his bottle of Vicodin and popped three all at one time. It was a lot, he knew, but between the pain in his leg and the pain that came from John's very presence he felt he needed it.<p>

"Yeah your life is just so perfect."

House's head popped up to see Cameron leaning in the doorway in between his office and the conference room. She wore a smug smirk that told of a woman who had just had her every thought about him confirmed.

"My pain does not mean I am not happy. It means I am in pain." He countered.

Cameron shook her head and moved over to sit down on the ottoman in front of his chair, "The very fact that you are hiding your intake means you are not happy. She wants a life you can't give her!"

House's face contorted in rage and he leaned forward to yell at her, "YOU KNOW NOTHING!"

Cameron leaned back to shrink away from his anger, but nothing could have helped her escape at this point, "I am protecting her! She worries too much, and she doesn't need to know how much pain I am in. I thought I had already explained this to you, but let me repeat myself since you are apparently slow. I LOVE HER!" He yelled yet again, "And if you dare to fuck this up I will not only fire you, but I will make sure that you are never hired at any decent hospital ever again. I will ruin your reputation, and you know I can. So I suggest you keep this to yourself, because there will not be any place for you to hide from my wrath if you hurt my wife by having her find this out."

Cameron could only stare in shock. He was protecting Cuddy from his pain. He wanted her to have a halfway normal, happy life.

House quickly grew tired of her staring and barked, "Did I make myself clear this time?"

The duckling nodded obediently then quickly got up and escaped from the room. He knew then that she would not tell a may be a woman lusting after another woman's husband, but she was also a romantic. She would never ruin the beautiful picture of the cripple husband who was protecting his wife from his pain.

* * *

><p>At ten o'clock House returned to Cuddy's room happy to find it empty and his wife dozing. He tried to enter without her noticing, but it only took a moment of his presence to get her to stir.<p>

Cuddy looked up at him with a small smile, "Hey."

He nodded and sat down back in his chair, "Hey."

"Your dad was out of line."

He shrugged a little, "When is he not? Evan is back in the nursery?"

She yawned a little and nodded, "Yeah. He will be back when he is ready for another feeding."

"He is a boob man, just like me."

Cuddy chuckled a little, "His obsession is for nourishment. Yours is very different."

"Thank God." He reached out and took her hand in his, "You happy?"

"Ecstatic." She replied honestly, "You?"

He nodded a little, "Yeah.. Yeah I am."

They stared at each other sharing simple smiles until Cuddy drifted off to sleep again. House leaned over and kissed her forehead gently before settling back into his chair for a night.


	37. Fix You

**A.N.: So sorry for the long absence. Life caught up with me for a while, but I am here now. Yay! xD**

**Anyway on with the show. As always I do not own. If I did Cuddy would still be HBIC of PPTH and Huddy would always be end game.**

* * *

><p><em>October 2nd<em>

"You started back to work." Dr. Miller was stating the obvious of course. Cuddy had returned to work after her maternity leave over a week ago, but today it seemed as if she needed some prompting to get her to talking.

Cuddy nodded a little staring down at her hands. Specifically staring at her wedding band. She seemed lost in thought. He could have let her stay that way, but that wasn't his job. His job was to listen, and since he could not hear her thoughts he was going to need her to talk.

"It has been a while since I've seen you." He paused to give her a chance to respond, but of course she didn't, "The baby is doing well? Last I saw you you were still pregnant." Another pause with nothing to come of it. He shook his head and leaned forward with his forearms on his knees, "Lisa you came here for a reason. You need to talk. Talk to me." He was almost pleading now. Lisa Cuddy had been slow to open up at first, only because of her own denial, but they had broken that wall down a long time ago. She had learned to trust him. He was worried about what she was hiding from now.

Cuddy took a deep breath and finally pried her eyes away from the symbol of her union to look up at her therapist, "The baby is great." She took the easiest part on first, "We named him Evan, I'm not sure if I had told you that before or not. He is growing beautifully. No problems even though I didn't carry fully to term. He was viable and healthy. He has my eyes. My hair. Both my children have my hair, but Evan's is not curling like Gwen's. That could all change. Who knows?"

Dr. Miller nodded, "I am glad he is doing so well. How is Gwen handling it?" He assumed that Gwen was far from her problem, but she seemed to want to tackle the easy things first.

This caused a little laugh to come from her, "Gwen is... doing as well as can be expected. She was the only child for so long, but we've all been doing our best to give her equal time and attention. Lucky for her Evan isn't very demanding. He is so quiet unless he needs something. He is content to lay in his crib or just be cuddled. He is not picky either way. He could do with or without our affections, but he never goes without. It is like he lives in his own little world. I think what bothers Gwen most is that he is not interested in playing with her. Obviously he is too young for that, but she still doesn't quite understand no matter how many times we tell her. I think she just wants a reaction from him. A smile when she tickles him or a laugh. Anything. I'm not sure if maybe three months is too young for him to do all that or if he is just extremely unamused with her attempts." She was smiling as she spoke about her children and their dynamics or lack there of. Evan was a mystery to Cuddy. Gwen had been such a happy baby. She smiled and laughed at the drop of the hat. Evan made you work for it. Only Cuddy knew exactly here he was ticklish, and even though it might have been selfish she wasn't sharing her knowledge. She liked that for now she was the only one who could make him smile at her will. She was sure that House had probably already caught on to her little trick, but if he knew he was just letting her have that. Her own special bond with her baby boy.

Dr. Miller nodded and offered her a little smile, "At least she doesn't hate him. She just wants his attention. That is perfectly normal, especially considering how you have always described her as a bit of an attention hog." He chuckled then picked up his pad and pen sitting back in his chair again, "How is House?"

Cuddy's eyes immediately fell to the floor. It was such a broad question, and she really only had one way to answer it, "I have no idea." She felt her chest tighten and she closed her eyes. Four simple words that were killing her. They were the reason why she was here. She was here because she had no possible way of understanding just what had happened to her husband.

Dr. Miller watched her intently giving her a chance to continue if she wanted without his prompting. When she didn't he dove right on in, "Alright, why don't we start with what has changed? You were so happy and hopeful the last time we talked. You had your concerns about his pain, but you seemed to think that he was getting back to his baseline. You thought his baseline was something he could deal with."

Memories of months gone by flooded her. She had been hopeful. Obviously too hopeful. She was happy and content. Where the hell had that gone? Her little worries had turned into big worries escalating far beyond belief, "It was good at first. He didn't take leave with me. I never expected him to. I assumed that since he would be working all day late night crying would be something I would deal with, but every time Evan cried House always seemed to be already up. He would to bed with me at night, but I don't think he was ever really sleeping. House was never much for getting sleep anyway. He naps throughout the day and is up and moving at night. It had just seemed to be a bit more than normal, but I attributed it to him wanting to help with Evan. He was doing so well. He talks to Evan like he is a little adult. I had even heard him singing to him. There was so much love when I saw him looking at our son just like I had seen when he looks at Gwen."

"Everything you are saying is in the past tense. How is it now?" He questioned

She took a deep breath and soldiered on, "He sleeps now, but only because he comes home reeking of alcohol. He won't talk to anyone about it. Not me. Not Wilson. He insists that there is no problem and snaps at anyone who suggests otherwise. It reminds me so much of how he was right after the infarction. I don't see the love in his eyes anymore. All I see now are dilated pupils and a blank stare. I almost prefer the times when I see the anger in them. At least that is an emotion. He has drawn back from me and the kids completely. It has only been a few weeks like this, but it is a few weeks too long." Tears started to gather in her eyes, the whole topic hitting her way too hard, "He doesn't touch me. Not even to sleep beside me and let our shoulders touch. I try to cuddle up to him and he moves away. I don't know how to bridge the gap he has made." The tears finally start to fall when she admits, "It started after I found out he had upped his intake of Vicodin."

At that he raised a questioning eyebrow, "How did you find out?"

Her right hand began to fiddle with the rings on her left, "I found his stash of extra bottles. After I found one in his tennis shoe in the closet I started looking for more. By the end of it I had found twelve bottles in our house alone. I confronted him." Her mind slipped fully into the memory as she spoke with Dr. Miller.

* * *

><p><em>"I told you you didn't have to wait up for me." House smiled and walked over to the couch knowing that the figure sitting alone in the dark was none other than his wife. It had been such a long day. His patient was responding well to treatment now, but it had been touch and go for a while.<em>

_When he reached the couch he was surprised to see such a sad look playing on Cuddy's features, but the surprise left him as he followed her gaze to the orange bottles piled high in her lap. He cursed himself for getting so brave as to bring them into their home. It had been reckless and now they would both pay the price, "It isn't as bad as you think."_

_Her head snapped up to look at him, "How could this possibly not be as bad as what I think? You have been getting regulated prescriptions from Wilson. If I call him will he admit that he has been giving you more? Every last one of these has his name attached, and not a single one was filled at PPTH. Should I call him, House? Will he explain everything?"_

_"I needed more for emergencies." He was not about to broach the topic of his stealing Wilson's prescription pad._

_"This is a lot more than just preparing for a rainy day." Her heart was racing. She knew the truth. She knew he had upped his dosage. Why the hell couldn't he just admit it? She needed to hear the truth from him just once._

_"There's nothing wrong, Cuddy. Just lay off." He knew the damage had already been done. The worry was etched all over her face. Worry and pain. He had done that. He had caused that. After all of his careful planning she had found out. He had blown this. It wasn't even Cameron who had let it happen. He had no one to be angry at but himself._

_She stood up quickly letting the bottles fall to the floor in a clatter, "Nothing wrong! House! Damn it you have been lying to us all! If your pain was getting worse we should have talked about it. Hell I DID talk to you about it! I wanted to be there for you. Instead you have been hiding in corners popping pills. That is the actions of an addict, House, not just a pain patient as you so often profess to be. This is more than pain. The hiding and the abuse makes you an addict." Tears trailed down her face. He was killing her. The lies were killing her, but she had no idea that her tears were killing him._

_The minute he started to feel the effect of her tears on him he started to put up his walls. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle her pain or her accusations. She didn't understand. He had never really wanted her to understand. He never wanted her to know, but now it was all out. There was nothing for him to do, "You don't know a damn thing, Cuddy." He basically spat. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. It was so much easier to be angry with her._

_Cuddy's eyes grew big as saucers and her tears fell down her cheeks even faster, "Then tell me. Talk to me!" She pleaded, "We got married. For better or for worse, I told you that there was no backing out once we did this. You are supposed to be here forever. I want our forever! Our life! How can we do that if you break down your body with narcotics?" She found herself gripping his biceps as if she was holding on to dear life. She could almost feel the wall he had built up to keep her out. She couldn't understand what the hell he was doing. Why couldn't he just let her in?_

_House pulled away from her touch and just shook his head, "I told you there was nothing to talk about. There is no problem, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm perfectly healthy so just calm down." He shook his head a little then started off to their bedroom, "It's late. I'm going to get a shower then crawl into bed." With that he just walked off._

_She had been dismissed. He was done with the conversation and she couldn't find the strength to go after him. Not right then. He needed time. In time he would have to see that she was there for him. He would have to turn to her, but she knew him better than that. It was easy to delude herself for a moment or two thinking that he would come around, but this was House. Nothing with House was ever easy._

* * *

><p>"So he withdrew after you fought?"<p>

She nodded adamantly, "Yes. I shouldn't have pushed him! I knew this would happen! Now he is getting drunk every night. He avoids me like the plague. He is going to get himself killed and it will be all my fault!"

"You know that is not true. We have been through this, Lisa. You are not responsible for his life. He is a grown man."

"He is my husband!" She insisted, "He should have talked to me. We could have looked into other options. I could have supported him."

"Maybe he doesn't want your support." He saw her beginning to object but held up his hand to stop her, "Hear me out. I am not saying that he didn't think he could trust you. I am saying that maybe it made him feel weak. Maybe he wanted to be there for you. He wanted to be strong for you."

"I don't need him to be strong I just need him to be here! How is he going to be here if he destroys himself this way?" She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, "I miss my husband."

"That is completely normal, but as weird as it is to think about what he is doing is pretty common as well. He caused you pain when you found out he was taking a higher dose. He caused you to worry and made you cry. He is pulling away now hiding from your pain, but because he is hiding he does not see that what he is doing is causing you even more pain. It is a vicious circle. His substance abuse is his way of dealing with what he has done to you. He is medicating not only his own physical pain, but also the pain he caused you."

So much of what he was saying made sense, but she hated every bit of it, "I don't give a dam about common! What I want is for him to be with me through this. We are a family."

"Maybe he isn't ready for that. Maybe he isn't ready to deal."

"WELL TOO DAMN BAD!" She snapped, "Ready or not it is all here. We are all here. He is affecting everyone. Gwen thinks daddy is sick so that is why he comes home and simply goes to bed. That is why he doesn't read or play with her! Will Evan even get to know him!"

"I know it is hard, but all you can really do is be there for him." He tried to soothe.

She shook her head, "I HAVE been there for him. I am always there. I even went back to work to try and be for him there as well, but he avoids me like the plague even more than before. He barely acknowledges me. He is cold. Everyone sees the change. Everyone knows something is wrong."

"So work is hard?"

That made her laugh, "Work is impossible." Her mind wandered briefly to House's current case, but she quickly shut that out. She didn't want to talk about that yet. If she was lucky it wouldn't even be a problem, but again she knew better.

"Our time is up for the day. I hope that talking at least helped you a little. I can't give you the answers you need. I can't fix him."

"I know, but I sure as hell wish _I_ could fix him." With that she got up off the couch, gathered her purse and coat, and made her way out of the office and back to PPTH where an employee and friend lay in wait alongside a cop hoping against everything that the resident genius would find the cure for what was ailing them.


	38. Damages

**A.N.: First off, Syd you do not hate me. You love me AND my angst!**

**Randy! I am happy to be back, and I missed you too! As for Maybe I'm Amazed, I am sort of stuck. I might write an epilogue, but I think the story is pretty much done.**

**And for all you others who are worried about where I am going, it is going to be a tough road just hang tight with me. Huddy is forever end game in my world, I just like giving them a hard time xD**

**I do not own.**

Cuddy desperately wished that she could just start the week over again. Scratch that. She wanted to start the month over again. She wanted to go back to the point when she had found his pills. She wanted to go back and handle it better. She couldn't help but blame herself. Years of therapy and she still couldn't stop feeling responsible for Gregory House. His life was her life. They were far more connected than she ever would have thought possible. This is what had happened the moment she allowed him into her life. They became one. For most people it would be a good thing, but when it came to House and Cuddy sometimes it just felt more like a burden, though she would never even consider saying that out loud. She loved him despite his faults. She wanted to help him through them, but he fought her every step of the way. She had explained to her therapist about the barrier that he had created between them. It was all out in the open now. She couldn't hide from the pain it was causing her anymore. The problem was now that it was in the open how did she go about breaking down the barrier? She had no clue. What she did know was that it sure as hell was not going to happen today.

The cop was dead, and House had no idea why. It was not unusual for House to be stumped, but what was unusual was that under the circumstances there was no way in hell that he was going to be able to find out what disease had finally stumped him through autopsy. The man had an unknown deadly disease that, if you could judge by Foreman's condition, was catching. She had already made the call to the CDC and now she was preparing to have the body moved and secured in the morgue. She was hoping to be able to have everything set up and ready to go before House came to confront her, but she had absolutely no luck on her side.

House needed an answer and he needed it fast. Losing that cop was one thing, but he refused to lose Foreman. He would never say that he cared, but he did. How could he not? He had worked with Foreman for years. They wouldn't ever be what people would refer to as 'friends', but they were something. After everything that he had let spin out of control in his personal life he sure as hell was not going to let his professional life go to pot as well. When he pushed the doors of Cuddy's office open he spared a single moment to look his wife over. He had been avoiding her for so long that he felt he hadn't really taken the time to appreciate her body like he usually did. She had worked her ass off (not literally thank God) to get her body back to its prime, and while he knew that her stomach was still a little soft he also knew that she wouldn't let that last long. She took pride in her figure so between running and yoga, there would be no softness left to that belly before long. She had worn his favorite black power suit to work that morning. The pencil skirt clung tight to her ass and the plunging neckline gave him a peek at the abundance of cleavage that always had him praising the effects of pregnancy. Cuddy was a gorgeous creature that was no longer his touch. He had hurt her, and she had basically called him a druggie. She would never understand. He would never explain. This was how it was meant to be. Strangers that lived under the same roof. Man he really needed a scotch right about now.

Tearing his eyes away from her he cleared his throat, "I need an autopsy."

Cuddy had been straightening papers on her desk and didn't dare to meet his eyes. She had felt his gaze, but wasn't even about to hope that his gaze held anything more than the distance he had placed between them, "You will have the autopsy report when the CDC is done with it."

House clenched his jaw and glared at her, "You called the law?"

How she kept from rolling her eyes she would probably never quite know, "I know that you like to ignore policy, House, but I can't. This cop has a disease that could run rampid through the hospital or even the entire city. I can't take that chance, so yeah 'I called the law'." She made air quotes with her fingers still not looking up at him. She hated that with their awkward tension she couldn't even argue with him properly.

"Foreman might die and you are going to hide behind your damn policy!" He saw her physically flinch at his raised voice, and he automatically felt horrible for doing it. Unfortunately he also felt angry that she was being so weak. He needed to fight. He needed her to fight with him, "God damn it Cuddy look at me!" He demanded.

His tone was cutting through her like a knife. It always did. After so many times of having him snap angrily at her over the last few weeks one would think she would be used to it, but she wasn't. It hurt her every single time. When he demanded she look up she finally did. What she found there was nothing but the rage of the employee she was having to go against. There was no compassion of a husband who knows that his wife's job is full of hard decisions, "What, House? Do you think I don't know what this decision does? The CDC swore to me to expedite the autopsy. They will get the results as soon as possible."

House scoffed at that, "Yeah three days from now! You know how they work Cuddy. Foreman doesn't have three days. I need that answer now!"

"Well you better damn well get back to working on an answer, because you are not getting the autopsy. I can not take the risk." Her voice was stern. She couldn't give on this no matter what life hung in the balance. It was killing her to know that she might cost a man his life, but in the end it was either his life or the safety of the entire hospital and possibly the town. It was too big of a risk. She was sure that he knew that, but she was also sure that he did not give a damn.

His eyes narrowed and he fixed her with an angry glare, "You are willing to risk another person's life just to follow your rules. Would you be so willing to gamble on your own life the way you are gambling with Foreman's?" With that final jab he turned and moved to walk out of the door only to have her answer before he could leave.

"You know I would." She stated with conviction.

Her statement caused only a momentary pause in his stride before he carried on out the door. The thing was that he knew that she would do the same if it was her life hanging in the balance. What neither of them would ever say was that while she would do that for herself it would be a different story if it was him. She would break every rule to save his life the consequences be damned. He would do the same for her, but somehow it seemed a lot less special when he would break the rules for anyone as long as he came out on top. He briefly wondered if she knew that she was in fact special to him. He would lay down his life in an instant for hers. He truly doubted that she knew.

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><p>Cuddy watched as Foreman's dad left her office, but she was not about to let House do the same. She grabbed his arm to stop his stride and waited until her doors were closed to speak to him, "Why would you do that? You know/ I feel horrible. You know that if there was any other way I would do it. This is my /job/. I have to make the tough decisions no matter what my feelings are. I don't want that man to lose his son, but I don't have a choice!"

House had no answer for her. He would never admit that he was just desperate. He was scared for Foreman's life and desperate to save him. He had no answers, and Cuddy was holding the key to all the answers. Bringing Foreman's father to her had been cheap, but worth a shot, "I am just trying to make you see what you are doing. You are going to ruin lives. It will be on your head. Can you live with that?"

It was funny. For once he was just talking to her. No yelling. No anger. Just a statement of fact, but it was not true. She heard absolutely no truth in a single thing he had said. This was not about her. If it was about her he would be supporting her now, not playing cheap tricks trying to hurt her into giving him what he wanted. She shook her head and let go of his arm, "I would ruin a lot more lives if this disease got out of control because of me. It will destroy a part of me if we lose Foreman, but I could never live with myself if because of my decision even more lives are lost to this disease."

He stared at her for a moment then simply nodded and walked out. He respected her decision. He just didn't like it.

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><p>Why House hadn't been the one to come and tell her that Foreman was okay was beyond her. It was wonderful news! She felt so much lighter than she had in days. It was all okay. She had never lost hope that House would figure it out, but she had been scared that he might not.<p>

The sound of her heels hitting the tile at a fast pace filled her ears as she basically trotted down the hall eager to find House, and being almost completely sure she would find him in his office. She pushed through the glass door happy to find that he was still gathering up his things so she hadn't missed him, "Why didn't you tell me!" She exclaimed with a huge smile plastered on her face, "He's okay! This is good." She shook her head then corrected herself, "No this is great."

House could only stare at her. She was so happy. Ecstatic even. When he finally found the words he wished to express to her even he was surprised at what they turned out to be, "Are you a complete moron?"

The beautiful smile that had previously graced her lips had been wiped clean. It was replaced with a frown and a look of confusion, "He is alive. He is here."

"He doesn't know his right from his left!" He boomed at her, "If I had been a few minutes earlier his brain would be completely fine. I failed, but you..." She shook his head and looked back down at his desk to finish gathering his stuff, "This is your fault."

"My fault?" She was still so stunned she could barely process his angry words.

"If you had let me do the damn autopsy I would have known a long time ago! But no you just had to play by your precious rules."

"He could be fine. You know that."

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and straightened up to stare at her, "There is a possibility he might not be. And /you/ know that. I'm leaving."

He went to move, but she was too quick for him, "He is fine, House. Stop blaming yourself. Hell, stop blaming me. He will go through therapy. He can be just fine."

"You just don't want to accept your part in the damage done to him."

"He could be dead!" She wished she could beat the fact into his skull.

"And he could be normal! No one wants to be damaged Cuddy." He finally maneuvered his way around her to get to the door.

"There is only as much damage as you make of it, House." She didn't follow or try to stop him anymore. She knew he had heard her. She also knew that it wouldn't make a bit of difference. He was still going to go off and drink himself into oblivion, but at least she knew that she had tried.


	39. Broken, Beat, and Scarred

**A.N.: Are you all still there? Have I driven you away yet? Keep on with me, I swear it gets better... Just not yet xD Btw, Randy I blame you for this chapter. Your 'apologize' video got me back in the mood for my angst. Consider this dedicated to your video making skillz xD**

**I do not own. One certain line is borrowed from Gilmore Girls. If you can find it you are my hero forever.**

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><p>There was no explanation for his feelings. House was to a point that no matter which way he turned every single thing seemed wrong. He had hurt Cuddy. He was still hurting Cuddy, but she had seen what he had never wanted her to see. She saw his pain and now he was seeing hers. Every single day he saw her pain, and he didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know how to deal with it. The sadness in her eyes was because of him. Should he let her close again? Would that make her happy? Could he take that chance? He didn't want her damned pity. He didn't want her to hover over him. It brought him right back to when the infarction had just happened and he began to feel the hate fill him all over again. He was turning back into the person he was before. Had he ever really changed to begin with? Delusions of a happy life with a happy family. Cameron had been right. Cuddy wanted a life that he just couldn't give her. He should have accepted that fate before ever making her his wife. Before having another child with her. His family deserved so much more than he had to offer them.<p>

Wilson had been trying to talk to him. Trying to reach him, but it wasn't working. He knew his friend meant well, but he didn't understand anymore than Cuddy did. House's mind drifted to the last fight he had had with Wilson as he raised his hand to signal for the bar keep to pour him another Bourbon.

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><p><em>Wilson trotted to catch up with House on his way out of work, "Cuddy came by to see me."<em>

_"And a mighty fine hello to you too, Wilson." He snarked._

_Wilson shook his head, "She is worried about you. She misses you. What the hell are you hiding from? A supportive wife who loves you? We should all be afflicted with such a cruel fate." He kept his tone light, but he meant every word he said. He couldn't believe that House was being such an idiot. They had never even broached the subject of him stealing his prescription pads yet AGAIN. House's self destructive path was worth much more attention than the betrayal._

_"She misses me? I haven't gone anywhere." He knew better, but he wasn't about to admit it._

_"Stop deflecting. You barely talk to her. You ignore your own kids. You are making her life a living hell." Wilson hated to say it, but he knew it had to be said, "I know neither of you wants this, but if you insist on living your life this way... maybe you should leave her."_

_House's eyes lit up with rage and he turned his glare on his friend, "Cuddy and I are going to be fine. Just stay the hell out of it!" He tried to push past Wilson, but his friend caught his arm before he could. What was with everyone stopping him from leaving lately?_

_"You are killing her. For once stop being so damn selfish. I've tried to talk you into just talking to her, letting her in again, but you won't. You are dragging her through the mud and not giving a damn if she gets broken, beat, and scarred along the way. Don't you care?"_

_"You are the last person I would take relationship advice from," He just jerked his arm away and walked off. He knew that Wilson wasn't wrong in a lot of ways. He had been pleading with him to fix things. He wanted to see his friends happy again. No one supported their relationship as much as Wilson, but it seemed that Wilson had found a breaking point in his support. That breaking point was Cuddy's pain. The same pain that House had been hiding from under a blanket of Vicodin and alcohol. Could he leave Cuddy? Technically yes. Would she be better off? Maybe. Did he want to? No. He had made her a single promise. He had warned her that things had would not be easy. She said that she understood, and he promised never to back out. He promised to be in it for the long haul. So for better or worse he was in it, even if his wife had taken to sleeping in the guest bedroom he was still married to her. He was still there._

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><p>House downed his drink and closed his eyes as the alcohol burned a trail down his throat. It wouldn't take much for him to let Cuddy back in. He knew it, but could he be that vulnerable? He had thought for so long that he was being strong for her, but that had only been part of it. He was hiding from what would cause her pain, because in the end he couldn't handle her pain any better than he could handle his own. It was a damn shame.<p>

He signaled for another drink only to be rebuffed by the bartender, "Come on. You can't cut me off. You already took my keys! I can drink as much as I want!"

The bartender shook his head, "Your ride should be here soon. You don't need another."

"His ride is here. Don't worry. I got this."

House turned around and stared at his knight in shining armor. As it turned out his knight was a very pissed Cuddy. He hadn't wanted to call her, but Wilson hadn't answered. After that who else was there really? Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, and she was dressed in a grey sweatshirt and black yoga pants. He had obviously disturbed her slumber with his call.

She put her hands on her hips and set him with a glare, "Don't you have anything to say to me?"

He scrunched up his face pretending to think, "Well... I guess I should probably make a pass at you..." He waved his arm towards her and yelled, "Pass!"

She shook her head, "You are an idiot." She was not in the least bit amused by his antics. She had been forced to bring her slumbering children out into the chilly night air because her husband had gotten too plastered to make it home on his own, "Come on." She brought his arm around her shoulders and helped him up.

House waved goodbye to the bartender and allowed Cuddy to help him out to the car. Once inside he looked behind him only to come face to face with his sleeping daughter. He could only assume that his son was in fact behind him in his carrier. He looked over at Cuddy when she got in to start the car," You brought them?"

She sighed and started to drive the car towards their home, "I had to."

He nodded his understanding and turned to look out the window. Even in his drunken state he knew better than to wake the kids. They shouldn't see him like this anyway.

Back at home Cuddy settled the kids in first before settling House down. Just as she was getting him on the bed her beeper went off. She looked at it and sighed, "Damn."

He stared at her and raised an eyebrow expecting an explanation.

She looked down at him, "I'm taking Evan with me to the hospital. There is an emergency, I can get one of the nurses to look after him."

He scoffed at that, "What the hell do you think I am? I can look after him."

She actually started to laugh, "Oh can you really! Then where the hell has my help been for over a month, huh? You swore I wouldn't be alone, but lets face it I /am/ alone. Why do you even stay, House? Is it to torture me, because let me tell you it is working. You don't love me. You can't. There is no way in hell that you can love me, and do this to me. You are always either not here or you are drunk. You haven't touched me or your kids in over a MONTH! That is a long damn time House." She covered her mouth for a moment as she began to cry then put it down and looked at him again, "I am too damn tired for this. You know what you have done. You know what you have become, so no I am not leaving my baby boy here for you to ignore his cries yet again. I am sure you will be asleep soon. Gwen should be sleeping for the rest of the night. I will only be gone an hour or two tops. Try not to burn my damn house down."

She had finally had enough. She had finally snapped, and when she had there was nothing left to do but scoop up Evan and leave to tend to her hospital.

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><p>Her words stung House. They were filled with emotion and all too true. Wilson had been right. He was killing her, and that was killing him. He sat up in bed and reached for the pill bottle that rested on the night stand. He popped a few pills briefly wondering how many he had had that night, but quickly brushed the thought off. He had other things to consider. What the hell was he doing? He needed to make things better for his family, but facing it was more than he thought he could bare. The image of her, yet again, crying face tore him apart and he opened the bottle yet again to cover the pain. When the hell would it stop hurting so damn much. He couldn't take it anymore.<p>

He stood up from the bed and walked on shaky legs. He needed some water. Why hadn't Cuddy brought him some? She knew that he would need water. Then again caring for him might not have been her highest priority at the time.

He made it halfway to the kitchen when his legs gave out and everything went black.

The sound of his body hitting the floor sounded out through the home waking a sleeping child. Gwen poked her head out from her room then ran as fast as her little feet could take her to her father. He was sprawled out on the floor with his eyes shut. She shook him gently at first, "Daddy?" She questioned quietly. When that got no answer she shook him harder and began to yell frantically, "Daddy! DADDY! DADDY!" She looked around aware that there was no way that her mother was home. If she was she would have come to her by now. She hopped up off the floor and grabbed the phone. She dialed the number her mother had made her memorize and waited until a voice on the other end asked her what her emergency was, "My daddy fell. He want talk or move. You have to help him, please!" She was sobbing now staring at her motionless father. Some how between her cries she managed to give the stranger her address. They promised to come, so she hung up the phone. Gwen stood by her father in her Dora the explorer night gown clinging to the phone for dear life while she waited for help to come and save him. She had just witnessed something very few other little girls get to witnessed. She had just witnessed an overdose.


	40. I'll Be Here

**A.N.: Holy crap! I am loving all the love/hate I am getting for my sudden burst of angst (well not sudden really this has been in the works for a while). I have to thank you for all the reviews! It really keeps me going. I loved opening my email to see all the notifications from the site. I even have some new comers! Love it!**

**Keep sticking with me guys. All good things come to those who wait.**

**I do not own.**

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><p>"Gwenny, why don't you come with Uncle Jimmy? You, me, and Evan we can go home and get some sleep." Wilson was kneeling next to Cuddy staring at the wide eyed child who was still desperately clinging to the portable phone. She hadn't said much of anything since he had come to the hospital in response to a frantic call from Cuddy, but at least her tears had subsided. Anyone could tell that she was exhausted, and Wilson was worried. He knew Cuddy was too. The three of them had been sitting in the unconscious House's hospital room for hours now waiting for him to wake up, knowing that it could take a while for he drugs to leave his system after his stomach was pumped.<p>

Gwen merely pulled herself into a tighter ball and buried herself against her mother, "Daddy has to wake up.." The muttered words were choked with new tears, and he instantly hated himself for having even said anything. He was trying to help. He was always trying to help.

Cuddy wrapped her arms tighter around her traumatized daughter, "Daddy is going to wake up, Gwen. I promise. You did the right thing. Such a brave girl." She cooed. Her hand stroked the girl's long dark locks. She hated that her daughter was so scared. She hated that she really couldn't do anything to take away that fear. All of that rested on House waking up. She needed to see that Daddy wasn't dead. Inwardly she seethed at her husband for having done this. She knew it was not purposely. He had been drunk. She was sure it was an accident, but there was no room in her life for accidents such as this. No kid should have to go through what Gwen was going through. Her only solace was that Evan was an infant. He had no idea what was going on, and if Cuddy had her way he never would. She glanced down at the carrier that held her son happy to see that he had not stirred a bit.

Wilson placed a hand on Gwen's back and hung his head, "Don't cry, Gwen. Your mommy is right. He is going to be alright. He is just sick. He needs to rest." It wasn't a lie. Addiction was a sickness. A self inflicted sickness, but sickness none the less. He had agreed with Cuddy that telling Gwen her daddy was sick was easiest. How do you explain an overdose to a child? Why would you want to?

Gwen turned her head to peer at her uncle, "Promise?" She looked from him to her mother and back, all of her faith resting on them to tell her the truth. She wanted her daddy to be okay. She wanted him to read stories to her again. She wanted him to love her again. Mommy promised that he was just sick, and that she hadn't done anything bad. But she couldn't help but wonder. There was something more to it than that. She could feel it, but she didn't know what it was. All she could do was trust her mommy. After all, mommy would never lie to her.

Wilson flashed her his best smile, "Would Uncle Jimmy ever lie to you, Gwenny?" He felt relief wash through him when she shook her head no, "That's right, and you know that Mommy would never lie to you either." He watched as Cuddy punctuated his words with a kiss to the top of the girl's head and gave her a squeeze, "He will be awake soon. Just relax. It will all be okay." Uncle Jimmy lied. He had no idea if it would be okay. He knew about the talk that Cuddy would have to have with House. It would be all up to him to save himself, and save his family. Wilson hoped that House would see how much he had. The little girl refusing to sleep scared to death loved her daddy. She wanted him in her life. No, she needed him, and looking up into the pained face of his long time friend, he knew that Cuddy needed him too. She was a mixture of angry and scared. She had every right to be both of those things. House had gone too far. Hell, he had been going too far. He should have gotten help long ago, but it wouldn't be House if he had. House was complicated at best.

The silence let Cuddy know that her daughter had settled down again. She knew she would not sleep, but at least she seemed a bit more relaxed. She looked over at the hospital bed. House looked so peaceful. At just a glance you would assume that there was not a single thing wrong with him. Drug addiction was of course not something you could physically see. The only proof of what he had went through tonight was the blotches of black chalk that they had attempted to use before resorting to pumping his stomach. She made a mental note to make him change into a fresh hospital gown when he woke up.

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><p>It was another hour before House finally stirred. He felt like he was fighting his way out of a heavy fog. How much had he drank last night? The last he remembered was Cuddy leaving. Fuck, he still had to deal with that. A shooting pain in his leg helped bring him to the surface of the fog. He moved his hand to his thigh and started to massage it. The movement had apparently caught the attention of the occupants of his room, because the next thing he knew someone was saying his name. He forced himself to open his eyes to see his family plus Wilson staring back at him. Gwen look terrified and hopeful all at once while Wilson and Cuddy seemed to be a mixture of relieved and angry, but he couldn't focus on that. Instead he focused on the fact that he seemed to be in a patient room. Hell, he was in a patient bed. What the hell had happened? He cleared his throat and spoke up in a raspy voice, "What?" That was all he got out thanks to his impossibly dry and sore throat. He felt himself smile just a little when Wilson instantly popped up and poured House a glass of water. He accepted the cup and downed it eagerly. Now that his throat was soothed he was able to speak properly, "What am I doing here?"<p>

Cuddy stood up and carried Gwen over to the bed, "I will explain later." She gave him a warning look and put Gwen down on the bed.

Gwen tentatively moved up to her dad's side keeping the phone tucked under her arm. Her eyes were big and worried, "Daddy?" She asked quietly.

Three hearts broke at the little girl's scared voice. House had no idea what had happened, but the child was obviously scared. He moved his arm around her to pull her closer, "Hey squirt."

Gwen put her head down on his chest and stared up at him, "Are you okay now, Daddy?"

House nodded and put his hand down on top of her head, "Yeah. I'm all good now." He smirked a little when she yawned, "Someone is tired."

"Someone has been up all night." Cuddy muttered crossing her arms over her chest.

Wilson cleared his throat and let out a nervous laugh, "We've all been up all night. I don't know about Gwen, but I could definitely use some sleep." When Gwen clung tighter to her dad he repressed a sigh. Getting Gwen home was going to be a challenge.

Cuddy reached out and ran her hand over her daughter's shoulder, "Gwen, daddy is awake. He is okay. You need to go to sleep now. Uncle Jimmy will bring you back later, won't you Uncle Jimmy?"

Wilson nodded quickly, "First thing in the morning, Gwenny." He waited for Gwen's answer pointedly ignoring House's eye roll over the nickname he had given his godchild.

Gwen looked up at her father then to her mother. She took a deep breath then let go of House holding her arms out to Wilson so he could pick her up. When he did she rested her head on his shoulder keeping her gaze on House, "I will see you tomorrow?"

House nodded, "Yeah. I'll be here. Love you, squirt."

Gwen's face lit up and she beamed at him, "Love you too, Daddy." It had been far too long since he had told her that.

Wilson gave House a look letting him know that he had a lot to talk to him about, "We'll be back."

Cuddy kissed Gwen's cheek then gave Wilson a thankful look, "You still have a key?" She waited for his nod of confirmation then picked up Evan's carrier and handed it to Wilson's free hand, "Thank you so much."

When Wilson and the kids were out of the room House reached out and touched Cuddy's arm, "What the hell happened?"

Cuddy pulled her arm away and crossed it back over her chest, "You overdosed." She replied curtly.

House took a minute to let that sink in, "It wasn't on purpose..." He needed her to know that. He wasn't trying to die. He couldn't even remember taking the pills.

She rolled her eyes, "And? I should feel better about that? My daughter had to call an ambulance for her unconscious father, and the fact that it was an 'accident' makes it okay? It is not okay, House! Not okay! Did you notice the phone that she simply refuses to let go of? She has been clinging to it like it was her very link to life. She was scared sick. She is probably going to need therapy, and this is all because you got so plastered that you couldn't remember how many pills you took."

He couldn't meet her eyes. He just stared down at his hands, "It wont happen again." He mumbled his promise.

"You can't promise me that!" She exclaimed in frustration, "You can't promise it wont. You have a problem, and you won't let me help you."

"You're here now. Be with me. That is the help I need." He could feel her pulling back from him, and he couldn't let her go. This was bad. He knew it was. He had traumatized his kid, and he knew that Cuddy would never stand for that. He wouldn't expect any less of her.

Cuddy's eyes brimmed with tears like they had for every single day since she had found out about his drug abuse, "I _have_ been there for you, House. I have been trying to be by your side to help you through this, but you refused. I can't help you. Its too late for me to help you. You are not coming back to the house this way. I don't trust you, not after this. I let you push me away. I let you ignore the kids, just hoping that eventually you would get out of whatever funk you were in, but I'm done. I draw the line when this hurts Gwen. I should have drawn the line a long time ago. She has been missing you, thinking that she had done something wrong to make you stop loving her. I guess I was just hoping that maybe you would see her pain and stop pulling away, but I should have known better."

"I never knew..." He tried to protest, but she cut him off.

"You knew. I know you did. You are not blind or an idiot, but you just buried it under booze and pills." She wiped her cheek clean of tears with the back of her hand.

He ran his hand over his thigh and looked up at her, "So, you are kicking me out?" He couldn't believe this. He had never really thought he would lose her.

Instead of answering she walked over and pulled a stack of papers out of her briefcase. She put them out across his lap, "You have two choices. You can pick one of these rehabs, get yourself some help, and then come back to your kids. Or you can find an apartment, I can pack up your things and sue for sole custody."

His anger flared up when she even suggested taking the kids, "You can't do that."

That made her laugh, "You want a bet? I have a hospital filled with stories that would stack up against you, including your current situation. I am not going to let you do this to my kids ever again." She let her gaze fall to the ground then continued in a quiet tone, "I won't let you do that to me again. You took the easy way out with the Ketamine, but that is over now. I know it will be hard, but it is the only answer now. I think somewhere in you, you know that." She needed him, but if she was honest with herself, she hadn't had him in over a month. This was just the final straw. Dr. Miller was right. She couldn't fix him herself, but she could at least make sure he got the help he needed.

House picked up one of the brochures barely touching it as if it might burn him, "Will you be here when I get back?"

She gave him a confused look, "Where do you think I would go? I have to work."

He set her with an intense stare and asked more firmly, "Will you be here when I get back?"

That was when it hit her. He was not asking for her physical location. He was asking if she would wait for him. If she would still love him. Didn't he know that she would _always_ love him no matter if he loved her or not. No matter if he was in her life or not. She would never stop. She couldn't even if she wanted to, but instead of telling him all of that she simply answered, "I'll be here."

House gave her a nod of understanding then set about the task of picking out his rehab. He had caused his family enough pain. It was time to fix this extraordinarily large mess he had created of himself and his life.

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><p>Wilson brought Gwen back in the afternoon leaving Evan with Marina. Cuddy was in her office make the arrangements for the rehab that House had chosen. She put her pen down and ran her hands through her hair taking in a deep breath. What the hell had happened to her life?<p>

Wilson knocked on her door then let himself in, "Hey... You okay?" When she simply looked at him with an arched eyebrow he gave her a sheepish smile, "As okay as you can be?"

She nodded and sat back in her chair, "As okay as I can be."

"He is going to rehab. This is a good thing. He is going to be okay."

She shrugged a little, "Maybe. It is all up to him now. If he would only just see that he needs to do this for the kids as well as for him." She shook her head, "They need him."

"You need him." Wilson insisted, "And he needs you."

"He doesn't need me."

"Cuddy, if there was ever anyone he would be willing to change for, it would be you." He went over to her leaned down pulling her into an encouraging hug, "I believe in him. You do too. You're just too scared to admit it." And with that he walked out leaving her to think that over.

His words rolled around in her head. Wilson was such a romantic. No one believed more in their relationship. She definitely didn't have that faith anymore, but it did give her a little hope that he believed so ardently. Would he change for her? Could she be the person to push him through this?

She shook her head letting those thoughts go. They had a long road ahead, but she would be waiting for her answer. Tomorrow Wilson would bring him to rehab, and she could only hope that it would be the beginning of something better for him and for their family.


	41. Blue Christmas

**A.N.: I am glad to give you guys a little relief. Keep your thoughts and reviews coming!**

**I do not own.**

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><p><em>December 25th<em>

Two months. A large chunk of that had been spent fighting his way through detox. House was restless. He was taking what little meds they agreed to give him like a good little boy. He was tired of the therapy and ready to be home with his family. What the hell was he supposed to learn? He knew that he had fucked up. He got that point, but what no one seemed to be telling him was how he was going to fix it. He needed answers, and all anyone told him was that it would take time. How much time? What would he do in between while he waits. What the hell was he accomplishing by being here with these idiots if they weren't helping him fix the mess he had made. He missed his family. He missed Wilson. Hell, he even missed his team. He just wanted to get back to his life, but his therapist had not released him yet. What was he waiting on? What break through was he missing? He was sick of this. It was Christmas, and while he did not really agree with the holiday he still wanted to be with his kids on Christmas morning. Hell, he was missing Evan's very first Christmas. Their first holiday with him. He hated that. He hated all of this.

"Packages." One of the workers brought in two brown paper packages that had obviously already been opened and taped back up.

House took the packages and glared at the worker, "Geez thanks for going through my stuff before delivery!" That was such a pain in the ass. He had no privacy. As if Wilson or Cuddy would send him any drugs.

The worker ignored House. Everyone there knew the drill. all packages were subject to inspection. It was just the rules.

House continued to glare at the worker until he was completely out of the room. When he was alone he opened the first package. Magazines, a yo-yo, and an assortment of candy. This was from Wilson. He chuckled a little. The yo yo was a nice touch. When he had checked in he had requested that he not have any visitors even when the time came that he was able to. It wasn't that he didn't want to see them. It was more that he didn't want to anticipate their visits if they weren't going to show. He knew that Wilson would come, but if Cuddy never showed... That would kill him.

The second box was filled with drawings from Gwen, snapshots, his favorite shower gel and shampoo, and a tin of homemade cookies that he assumed his mother had added. Cuddy really was not much of a cook. The drawings by his little girl made him smile warmly. She really was getting better. Even at five years old she was showing promise. He set those aside and started looking through the snapshots. Gwen dressed as a Christmas tree, he assumed in a play for school. Evan finally giggling along with his sister. That made House wonder if she had found Cuddy's 'secret' tickle spot on Evan. The next was of Evan sitting up all by himself in the middle of the room. That broke House's heart. He had missed yet another first. It was even worse than missing out with Gwen. He hadn't known about Gwen. He knew about Evan. It was his fault that he was missing out now, not Cuddy's. There were a few more pictures of the kids together and then a few of them with Wilson. What was weird about that was that there were no pictures of Cuddy at all. That bothered him. Of course he had not forgotten what she looked like, but he hadn't seen her in two months. A picture at least would have been nice. Some sort of sentiment. Some kind of hope.

He took a deep breath and picked up the tin of cookies so that the box would be completely empty. When he did he found a piece of paper folded and placed on the bottom. He picked it up and opened it up expecting another work of art by his daughter. What he found instead were two words written out in Cuddy's distinct scrawl, "Still here". His smile was back on his lips thanks to two simple words. She hadn't given up. He needed to get back to her.

House set out on the path to his therapist's office. He threw the door open, "It is time for me to go home."

Dr. Coleman took off his glasses and stared at House, "And why is that?"

House rolled his eyes, "Look, I've been here two months. I am clean, and I am ready to get back."

"Have you confronted what brought you here?" Dr. Coleman asked.

That elicited an impatient groan from his patient, "An overdose brought me here!"

"And why did you over dose?"

"Because I was drunk!" House snapped, "Because I was an idiot! Because I was hiding from my wife! Hiding from her pain! I didn't want her to affect me, but she does! And my kids, they affect me! They are a part of me, and I wasn't strong enough to be there for them! I couldn't even focus on my own pain, but I have dealt with that! I am ready for them now! I know I can be there for them, because I did the work! I got clean for them! I need them in my life! Let me go! Let me be with them. I /need/ to be with them! So sign the god damn papers so that I can get back to my family!" He was basically seething. This idiot needed to let him leave. He had better things to do. He needed to get his life back to where it should be.

Dr. Coleman smiled and took out House's chart, "Okay."

He blinked for a moment completely stunned, "That was it?"

The doctor nodded, "I have been waiting for you to find the determination yourself from the very beginning. You kept waiting for answers from me. You wanted a quick fix. I couldn't give you that. You needed to get the motivation yourself because I won't be the one fixing your marriage or your relationship with your kids, you will be."

"That was really all it took?" He threw up his hands in frustration, "Why couldn't you have just said that!"

"You had to find it yourself." Dr. Coleman responded simply.

"Whatever, just get the paperwork done. I want to go home." By this time tomorrow he knew that he would be on his way home. He wondered if they would call Cuddy. He was sure they would. She would need a little warning that her newly detoxed husband would be coming home. He knew that he had a long way to go to fix the damage he had done, but he was ready to try.

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><p>"Gwen, do you like your presents?" Cuddy asked her excitedly as Christmas day came to a close. Her family and House's parents were long gone for the day leaving only Wilson with her, and she couldn't be more glad. The pitying looks she had gotten from their family, even from her father, drove her insane. It was bad enough he was gone, she didn't need to be reminded of it every time they looked at her.<p>

Gwen gave her a little nod, "I do." It was an adequate response, but not a normal one from her usually joyful daughter. She had been so reserved since the overdose. She asked daily when her daddy would be home from receiving his 'medicine'.

Cuddy shot a worried look to Wilson who merely shrugged in return. He had been more than happy to spend the holidays with the House family. Amber had went to visit hers, both agreeing that he was needed more here. He wished that he could sooth the obviously still disturbed Gwen, but he was pretty sure she would not be better until House finally came home.

Gwen yawned and climbed up off the floor, "Can I go to bed?"

The question was odd, but Cuddy wouldn't fight it. Usually she had to wrestle her into bed. It had been a long day for them all, "Okay baby. Come here." When Gwen walked over she gave her a kiss and a hug, "I love you."

"I love you too." Gwen said quietly before moving to hug and kiss her Uncle Jimmy. With a final goodnight she turned and walked off to her room.

Cuddy let out a sigh and leaned fully back onto the couch, "I can not believe this day was so hard. He doesn't even like Christmas."

"But you guys had fun. It's okay to miss him."

She turned her head to look at him. "I do miss him, but I mostly want him back for the kids sake."

Wilson quirked an eyebrow at that, "He was hiding behind drugs. Are you going to hide behind the kids now?"

She glared at him, "Don't go there. You know how I feel, but.. It is complicated."

He might have responded, but the phone interrupted his thought. She reached over and picked up the phone. After a brief conversation she set the phone down on her lap and stared at it, "He's coming home tomorrow." Now she knew how Gwen must have felt. She had never felt like her entire life relied on a phone call before, but now it did. That phone call had changed her life just like Gwen's call had changed hers. She didn't even register Wilson pulling her into a hug. Her mind and heart was in rehab awaiting the moment when he would come home.


	42. Man of My Heart

**A.N.: So happy to know I have restored hope to the masses xD I don't have much to say so I will just get on with it.**

**I do not own.**

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><p>Cuddy couldn't seem to keep still. She had been told that he would be home around four. It was now five after. She paced back and forth behind the couch while her fingers ran nervously over the pearls she wore on her neck. She had tried to put a half day in at work earlier in the day, but she found it impossible to concentrate on anything. She gave up and came home, not bothering to change. House had always been fond of her pencil skirts anyway. She glanced around the room and sighed when she saw that Gwen was still perched in the window seat staring at the street. She had been that way all day. The only time she had moved was to go to the bathroom. Cuddy had been silently praying that House's return would bring back her happy little girl. Gwen's depression was tearing her heart into pieces, but she was fairly sure that House coming home would fix the problem. What she wasn't so sure of was if it would fix hers. She was nervous, and even thought she hated to admit it she was still hurt. He had shut her out so firmly that she wasn't really sure how she would let him back in. The how she knew was only a technicality. She would forgive him and let him in. She always did. There was just so much to talk about.<p>

She was ripped abruptly out of her thoughts by a random squawk let out by her son. She stopped her pacing and turned to look at him. He was staring at her intently and offered her a small smile for her troubles. He had discarded the toy that had held his attention and now was obviously expecting his entertainment to come from her. She laughed a little and walked over to the boy. She picked him up and cuddled him to her chest, "Are you bored, little man? Have I been neglecting you?" He merely stuck his tongue out and leaned his head onto her shoulder as an answer. She nodded as if she understood, "So sorry about that. I will try not to make the mistake in the future." She pressed a kiss to his forehead and closed her eyes taking in a deep breath hoping that it would somehow ease the knot in the pit of her stomach.

"He's here!" Gwen squealed and jumped off the window seat. Cuddy didn't even have time to try to stop her before Gwen had ran out of the door and attached herself to House's leg, "You're here! You came back! Daddy I love you!"

House knew that Gwen would have at least missed him, but her greeting shocked him all the same. Once the initial shock wore off he smiled, set his bag on the ground, and reached down pulling her up so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, "I love you too squirt."

"I missed you, Daddy! I missed you so much! Please don't go away again. Please" Her muffled pleading was not lost on him. It broke his heart to hear her so desperate and unsure. He felt a new shot of hatred for himself wash over him yet again. He had caused so much pain. He had caused that tone.

"I am not going anywhere." He swore.

"How about going inside?" He had been so wrapped up in Gwen, quite literally, he had not noticed Cuddy come outside with Evan on her hip. She picked up his bag and gestured for him to bring their reunion into the house.

House narrowed his eyes unhappy that she had not yet properly greeted him, but he followed none the less. Once inside she put his bag down by the couch then turned to awkwardly embrace him, a proper embrace impeded by the fact that they were both carrying a child each, "Welcome home." When she pulled back to look into his eyes he was relieved to find sincerity. All was not so lost after all.

"Miss me?" He asked with a ghost of a smirk.

"Hardly." She shot back, but her smile gave her away. There would never be a day when he would leave their home and not be missed.

He reached out and ran a hand over Evan's head, "He is getting big. How's my son?"

Evan turned his head into Cuddy's shoulder, and House frowned, "Did you turn my son into a Mamma's boy while I was gone? What is this?"

Cuddy shrugged a little and merely cuddled him a bit more to her chest. She was not about to suggest that he might not be very familiar with him anymore. That would change soon. She didn't see the need to make him feel his absence from their home anymore acutely than he already did.

He shook his head then grimaced when his leg began to protest the extra weight. He tried to put Gwen down, but she just clung tighter to him, "Squirt, come on. Dad needs to sit down."

"I can sit with you." She insisted.

House sighed and looked over at Cuddy. She gestured to the couch and gave him a look that told him to just go with it.

He carried her over to the couch then arranged her on his good leg. She made herself comfortable and rested her head up on his shoulder. He hated how awkward he felt in his own home. Not a thing had changed in his absence except how his family acted towards him. Cuddy was obviously stand offish. Gwen thought he might disappear, and Evan didn't even recognize him. It had been two months too long to stay away from them. Everything had changed, but it had been a necessary absence.

Cuddy sat down on the arm chair and noticed the questioning look she got from House for choosing to not sit on the couch with him. She chose to ignore it, "The trip back was okay?"

He nodded a little, "Yeah. I'm surprised Jimmy isn't here."

"I told him I wanted him to be, but he felt that you should spend time with us first."

He smiled a little and ran his hand through Gwen's hair, "Smart man."

That made Cuddy laugh a little, "I will be sure to tell him you think so."

The small talk continued only a few more minutes before they decided to just put a movie on. There would be no heavy talking done while Gwen was in the room.

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><p>Later that night Gwen had passed out on House's lap and Evan's droopy eyelids let them know that he wouldn't be far behind. House picked Gwen up and brought her to her room while Cuddy went to go put Evan down. He laid her down carefully and tucked her in. Once he was sure he was in the clear he wandered towards Evan's room. As he got close he could hear Cuddy singing softly to their son. A small smile graced his lips, Cuddy rarely sang. He leaned against the door frame to watch and listen to her putting Evan down for the night.<p>

More than you know,  
>More than you know,<br>Man of my heart,  
>I love you so.<br>Lately I find,  
>You're on my mind,<br>More than you know.

Whether you're right,  
>Whether you're wrong,<br>Man of my heart,  
>I'll string along.<br>You need me so More than you'll ever know.

Cuddy gently placed Evan in his crib then jumped when she turned around to find House standing the the doorway smiling like an idiot. She shot him an annoyed look and waved her hands to tell him to move out into the hallway. Once the door was shut she sighed a little, "Why are you so amused that I sing to him?"

"You never sing." He countered.

She shook her head, "I have sang to him every night since he was born. Just because you don't hear it doesn't mean it doesn't happen."

"Were you hiding it from me or something? Would you go in and sing when you knew I wouldn't hear?"

She smiled a little and shrugged, "Maybe."

"Freak." He said with a roll of his eyes, "What was that song anyway?"

" 'More than you know' by Barbra Streisand." She glared when he made a retching sound, "What was /that/?"

"Barbra Streisand?" He asked in disbelief, "I never knew you liked her."

"Well you never asked. I gave you control of the radio in the car, because if I don't you complain." She ran her hands over her skirt absentmindedly as she continued, "Its not like I am a huge fan. I just like some things. The song was from Funny Lady. The movie wasn't as good as Funny Girl, but I always liked that song."

"Shouldn't you be singing that to me anyway? Isn't the 'man of your heart' supposed to be your husband?" He asked with a fake pout.

She shook her head, "No, I am afraid not. The boy beats you out fair and square."

"Doesn't seem fair to me." He whined.

"I can't really find it in me to care." She said with a smile.

House followed closely when she turned to walk into the bedroom, "You know I did not get a proper welcome home. Our hands were a little full."

"Did you expect me to jump your bones when you got home? If so then you were sorely mistaken." She kept her head down as she sifted through her drawer for something to where to bed so that he wouldn't see her smile.

"Uh actually I did." He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around, "It has been two months since I've kissed you."

She frowned at the statement and pulled away from his grip, "It has been over three months." She corrected. A part of her felt guilty for not just giving in to him, especially when she saw the pain flash in his eyes. Rehab had been such a brave thing for him to do, but the biggest part of her was still hurting for all the events leading up to his rehab. She couldn't make herself forget. Not yet.

He dropped his hands down to his side and stared at her. The month before rehab had been such a blur to him. He had shut out so much that if he was totally honest, he had no idea when the last time they had kissed had been. From the look in her eyes though, he knew that she knew. This was the part of the hard road his therapist had told him he would be walking down. Rehab didn't magically make his life good again. It took away his addiction, nothing more. This would all have to be him, and frankly he felt that was pretty damn lame.

"Cuddy.." He took a deep breath then forced himself to continue, "I know that I have a lot to make up for. I know that we have a lot to discuss, but for now can't it at least start with a kiss? Or maybe even just a grope? You know me. I'm not picky."

The hopeful look in his eyes was impossible to ignore. He had truly missed her touch, and she would be a liar if she said she had not missed his. What harm could a kiss do? "Thats not true. You are extremely picky. Just not about this." She moved towards him and brought her hand to his face. She gently caressed his stubble before leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his cheek wrapping her arms around his neck, "I'm so proud of you." She whispered to him before pulling back and giving him a proper kiss.

The kiss was gentle at first, timid even. It was as if they were rediscovering each other, even if it had only been a few months. But that flew out the window as fast as it started. House being House, insisted on pushing his limits. The minute he ran his tongue over her lips and she accepted by parting her lips, he was through with playing nice. His kisses became more urgent and his hands moved down to grab her ass. The deep moans that came from her let him know that she was way too into it to stop him so he pressed her against the wall and moved his hands from her ass to her chest.

Her mind was screaming for her to stop him, but it could not make her body actually stop responding. She had missed this so much. This was exactly the thing that had plagued her dreams. Their sex life had always been active. Three months was a ridiculous amount of time to go without. So when he began to unbutton her shirt, she had no choice but to unbutton his pants. She needed him, talking be damned. Talking could come later.

What neither expected was the banging on their door and wail of, "DADDY?" to come from the other side.

They broke the kiss and House looked sadly down a the hand that hand just dipped into her bra to stroke her breast, "Goodbye my friend." He spoke to her breast, "I am afraid that that sound means that we will not be meeting again tonight, but believe me this is not over." He removed his hand and zipped up his pants.

Cuddy quickly grabbed her pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom while House let Gwen in.

The little girl stared up at him with tears streaming down her face, "You left me." She sobbed.

House shook his head, "Squirt you were just in your room. I didn't leave you."

"You LEFT me!" She insisted crying even harder.

He didn't know what to do. She was absolutely breaking his heart. He couldn't even imagine what she must have been like while he was gone. He bent down and scooped her into his arms, "I didn't. I went away for a while to get medicine to get me better, but I am here now. I won't leave you again."

"Can I sleep with you?" She asked in her tear choked voice.

He repressed a sigh and nodded, "Yeah. You can sleep with me."

He put her on their bed and walked to his side of the bed while she crawled in the middle, He discarded of his jeans leaving only his boxers and t-shirt. When he climbed into bed Gwen immediately cuddled to him. He wrapped his arm around her and began to stroke her hair, staring up at the ceiling.

Cuddy came out of the bathroom in a tank top and yoga pants. She smiled at the two of them, "Cute."

He raised his head a little and rolled his eyes, "Don't you dare take a picture."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Have a good night, House." She moved to walk out of the room, but he was quick to protest.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Watch your language!" She warned.

"Fine where the HECK are you going?"

She shrugged a little, "Gwen needs you."

"Gwen needs US." He corrected, "She is reacting to me going away for a while. She would do the same if you had gone away. We support her together, so get your sizable rear into this bed right now."

Cuddy thought it over for a moment and realized he was right. Gwen needed to know they were all still in it together. So instead of walking out she moved onto side of the bed and settled under the covers on her side.

House turned his head and smiled over at her, "Night, Cuddy."

She returned the smile then closed her eyes, "Night, House."


	43. The Laws of Attraction

**A.N.: Thanks again for all of the reviews! Except you, Syd. I can't believe you left me hate again xD**

**I do not own.**

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><p>A week had passed since House came home. A week filled with his daughter acting like his shadow, his son having to become used to his presence, and his wife working most of the time. He knew that she had explained herself that whether he had been home or not that she would have had to be at work so much, but he couldn't help thinking that she was avoiding him. Would she make up a pharmacy audit to avoid talking about her feelings? Wasn't that his job to avoid it? Here he was finally ready to open up and discuss things with her, and she was never around to do it. She would come home late and leave early. Even when she was home, Gwen was stuck to him like glue. He had finally gotten her to allow him to leave the room sometimes, but she still seemed incapable of sleeping in her own bed. He knew that in a way he deserved this, but it was getting on his last damn nerve. He wanted his life back to normal. Was that really so much to ask for? He didn't think so. He refused to leave his life hanging that way. He would fix it. He had to fix it. He didn't have the patience to wait for her audit to be over for her to come to him. He would take it into his own hands and deal with his own mess.<p>

One call to Wilson was all it took. He didn't explain himself. All he told him was that he needed a favor. Wilson was so easy. He could always count on Wilson's need to be needed.

Wilson knocked on the door and stood with his hands on his hips giving House an annoyed look when he opened the door, "What is it House? You knew I was at work. This had better be important."

House gasped pretending to be hurt, "Wilson how could you even begin to think that I would call you over for something that isn't important?" He gestured to Gwen that was standing at his side, "I need you to babysit."

Gwen frowned, "Where are you going!"

House placed his hand on Gwen's head, "I have to go and see your mommy. I will be back, I promise. Have I ever broken a promise." He saw the look Wilson was giving him and rolled his eyes, "To you. Have I ever broken a promise to /you/?"

"No..." She answered quietly.

"So when I tell you I promise to come back do you believe me?"

Gwen considered this for a moment before responding with an even more quiet, "Yes."

"Will you be good for Uncle Jimmy?"

Gwen sighed and nodded, "Yeah."

Wilson decided to try and help out. He moved forward and scooped her up hanging her upside down for a minute, "We are going to have a great time without Daddy. You, me, and Evan do not need him to have fun." He turned her back right side up and started to tickle her eliciting a fit of giggles from the little girl. He knew from the moment that House told Gwen he was going to see her Mommy that he obviously had something he needed to talk to Cuddy about alone. He was more than ready to help out with that. Anything that would get their family back to normal was something that he supported.

House rolled his eyes at Wilson's attempt to play with the girl, but whatever got him out of the house was fine with him, "Alright. Bye Gwen. I'll be back soon." He closed the door behind him happy that she had spared a giggling goodbye for him. Wilson really was good with her. Not as good as him, of course, but still good.

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><p>Being back inside PPTH was a bit weird for him. The last time he had been within these walls he was hospitalized for an overdose. He knew that eventually he would have to come back, but he never thought about how it would make him feel. It brought back memories and made him a bit tense, but it wasn't completely horrible. He had missed it. He wanted to go back to work. Maybe after he had fixed things with Cuddy he could look at getting his license back.<p>

Speaking of Cuddy, he felt himself smile a little when he saw her come walking out of the elevator. That smile faded though when he noticed she was not alone. Some blonde idiot was at her side smiling and talking with her. What was even worse he was making /her/ smile. Who the fuck was this idiot? He had never met this one. He couldn't possibly be a doctor. There was no white coat, just a button down shirt and a tie. Plus he looked stupid. He even dared to put his hand on her shoulder. No, it was time to end this. Blondie obviously had no idea who's wife he was messing with.

He squared his shoulders and limped over to where Cuddy and the man were talking. She had obviously heard his approach because she turned her gaze on him and gave him a confused look. He flashed her a bright smile and slung his arm around her waist when he reached her side, "Hey there, babe. Did you miss me?" He pressed a kiss to her cheek then turned to face the man, "Hi I don't believe we've met. I'm Greg House, this little hottie's husband. Who are you?" Though his tone was light, his gaze on the man was accusing. He expected answers, and he would not be leaving until he got them.

The man shifted uncomfortably then plastered a smile on his face and looked to Cuddy then back to House, "Uh, I'm Don Patterson. I am conducting an audit of the pharmacy here in PPTH."

Cuddy looked up at House, the amusement inside fighting against the annoyance at his interruption, "I was just thanking him for his time." She turned back to Don and extended her hand for him to shake, "Really thank you for everything. It was such a relief to have it go so smoothly."

He shook her hand and flashed her yet another winning smile, "Please it was a breeze. You run a tight ship and it shows."

House pulled Cuddy tighter to his side, "She sure does. She runs even tighter ship at home. She can be a bit demanding, but I sure am not complaining if you know what I mean." He winked suggestively at the man. He felt the need to remind this man of his presence and place in Cuddy's life. There was something about this idiot he just didn't trust. It was probably the fact that he was decent looking and had a dick, but he was never one to question his own musings. He just went with his impulses.

Cuddy gave him a disgusted look forced herself not to roll her eyes, "Goodbye, Mr. Patterson." She watched as Don nodded at her before walking away. When he was safely through the doors she pulled away from House to glare at him, "You are really something else." She shook her head and quickly walked away towards her office.

He let out a sigh and followed her, "He was undressing you with his eyes. Did he even know that you were married?" He closed her office door behind him closing the blinds and locking it to keep their privacy in tact.

She turned around and leaned back against her desk with her arms crossed, "He was NOT undressing me with his eyes! And yeah he did know that I was married. The rings on my finger and my hyphenated name on the door is a pretty clear sign." She sighed and then smiled a little, "I can not believe how jealous you are." Her annoyance had ebbed off and amusement was now in a lead position. It wasn't as if he had ruined anything this time. Plus there was something heart warming about knowing that her husband still had his possessive side, and he still cared enough to show it.

House smirked smugly when she smiled at him. He wasn't in trouble, "I always knew you liked it when I set my claim out on you."

"You do not own me." She insisted.

"The rings say otherwise." He shot back.

She rolled her eyes, "Was there anything else you needed aside from acting like a jealous neanderthal?"

He nodded a little and shoved his hands in his pockets, "We need to talk."

She paused to let that sink in then moved from her spot leaning against the desk to be behind it. She sat down and looked up at him, "I don't have the time. This is work, House. Some of us actually do work when they come here."

"No." He walked up and put his hands on her desk leaning forward towards her, "We need to talk, and you need to make time for it. Quit pushing it off, Cuddy. That is my job."

She sighed softly and rubbed her forehead, "Fine." She dropped her hand down and looked him in the eyes, "Where do we start?"

"Tell me how you feel to have me back."

"So you are looking for an ego boost?" She scoffed.

He shook his head, "No. I am pretty sure that your honest answer will not do a single thing to boost my ego."

She bit her lower lip and dropped her eyes down to her desk, "Probably not." She raised her hand up to run over her pearls nervously, "I love having you home, but... it still hurts. I hate not being able to trust you after working so hard to build that trust. I keep thinking about how it would feel to have you hurt Gwen again or Evan... To hurt me again. It seems like I am taking a huge chance to let you back in, but I can't lose you either. Gwen would be devastated. I would be devastated. I can't imagine Evan not know his father. I can't imagine my life without you. I just..." She knew that she was babbling. She was just letting it all out.

During her speech House moved to her side of the desk and leaned up against it with his legs brushing up against hers. He listened intently to her babbling, but he was sensing a trend. She was insecure about them. She was scared of the future. He let her go on for a while, but finally he reached out and put his finger to her lips, "I understand Cuddy. I deserve your mistrust. I earned it. I was hiding from your pain. I refused to deal with it. I was wrong and selfish and an addict. I know it is hard to believe, but I am better now. I can do better this time. Just give me a second chance."

She moved his finger aside so that she could talk, "I already am. You are in the house aren't you?"

He shook his head, "No. I know that you are giving me a second chance there. You know Gwen and Evan need me. It might make you nervous to have them with me, but you aren't keeping them from me. I am talking about a second chance with you."

"I told you I was still here." She insisted.

House let out an impatient sigh, "Cuddy you are distant! You think I don't notice that you stay late at work on purpose. No pharmacy audit should take you till eleven at night and need you at work at six thirty in the morning."

She blushed a little and looked away from him, but he touched her chin to turn her to look at him again, "I don't blame you, but I am asking you to give me a second chance."

She stared into his eyes unable to ignore the way they were pleading with her. He had went through two months of hell in rehab so that he could come back to their family. She had given him a choice and for once he had chosen to do things the hard way. No short cuts this time. He had earned his second chance. He had owned up to his mistakes and had apologized for them. She knew that all that was left was for her to give him her blind faith once again hoping that he would be more careful with it this time around, "Okay."

"Okay?" He questioned with a confused look, "Okay you are going to give me a second chance?"

She nodded, "Yes. Just don't blow it this time, okay?" She flashed him a smile to let him know that even though she was serious, it wasn't a threat. She was willing to trust him again. Forgiving House had always come much too easy for her.

He smiled and pulled her up by her arms to hug her.

She settled herself between his legs leaning into his embrace. She should have expected the kisses that he was pressing against her neck now, but she didn't, "House..." She spoke in a warning tone.

"Shhhh.. I'm doing some of my best work here." He bit down gently on her earlobe and tugged on it to prove his point.

A gasp escaped her, but that didn't stop her objections "I'm at work!" She scolded, but not once did she pull away.

He pulled away from her neck to give her an unimpressed look, "I have had you on this desk three times. Four if you count oral."

"I was pregnant and hormonal!"

He shook his head, "Only two of those times. The others you were just horny." He countered with a smug grin. He moved his hand up to cup her breast through her jacket, "Can you seriously tell me you don't want this? I know you've missed it. Your moaning from the other night before Gwen interrupted was enough to tell me that."

She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip trying to keep her wits about her, "We shouldn't..." Her sentence was cut off by his earnest kiss. Fuck he was good at that. He didn't even bother to ask for permission to move his tongue into her mouth, he just moved it abruptly in deepening the kiss deliciously causing her to moan. The tingling she felt between her legs let her know that there was no way in hell she was going to pass this up. Gwen was still insisting on being in their bed. It was now or never.

When they broke the kiss to come up for air she immediately pulled her arms away. He had been about to protest till she took off her jacket letting it fall to the floor. A goofy grin spread over his lips when her shirt and bra quickly followed the jacket's fall to the floor. He brought his hands up to grope her breasts. He groaned, "Damn I have missed the twins."

She gave him a wicked smile, "Did you think of them while you were gone?" Her eyes fluttered closed when his head dipped down to suck on her nipple, "Oh God House.." She forced herself to keep her moaning quiet.

He pulled back to lift his t-shirt up and toss it to the side, "Are you asking if I choked the chicken to you?" He asked in an amused tone.

She laughed a little at the juvenile way he worded it, "Uh yeah I think I am, now answer me." She moved back from him to take her skirt off and let him take off his pants. They didn't really need to be naked, but she wanted them to be. She hadn't seen her husband naked in months. All of her blinds were shut. If they were going to do this it might as well be all the way.

"Oh Cuddy wants to talk dirty.. I love it." He took off his belt then started in on his pants, "Everyday multiple times a day." He admitted.

A now naked Cuddy helped him pull his boxers down then took his hard manhood in the palm of her hand stroking it gently. She leaned up and whispered in his ear, "Did you pretend it was me touching you just like this?"

He groaned and let his head fall back and his eyes close, "God yes..." Her lips were now pressed against his neck nipping and sucking here and there. He let his hand move from her hip to dip down in between her legs. The let out a joint moan when his fingers brushed between her folds. Her moan was due to the stimulation of her clit while his was due to how wet she was, "Did you think of me?"

She smiled against his neck and bit him gently before pulling away to look him in the eyes, "Always. I would move my fingers inside me and curl them just like you do until I would come moaning your name." She found no shame in their dirty back and forth. They were married and desperately hot for each other. There was not a damn thing wrong with that. People would kill to have the kind of attraction that they had.

He smiled at her statement and moved two fingers into her just as she had described, just as he knew she loved. When she dropped her hand from him to bring both hands up to hold on to his biceps while her mouth dropped open in pleasure.

She let him stroke her for a few more minutes before opening her eyes to plead with him, "I need you... Please."

Who was he to say no when his woman was asking so nicely for him to enter her? He took his fingers from inside her, sucked them clean, then took her by the hips. He guided her to be in front of him leaning over the desk. It wasn't until he was spreading her legs that he noticed that she had left her heels on. Damn she knew he loved to fuck her with her heels on. She knew it too, obviously.

She propped herself up on her arms on the desk and waited for him to situate himself behind her. There was something exciting about this position for her. Even if she turned around it was still hard to fully see what he was doing. The proof of that was her shocked gasp when she felt him thrust fully inside her.

He held tight on her hips keeping his thrusts slow not wanting to rush it, but when she began to move her hips back against him he groaned and sped up his thrusts. This wasn't exactly the best sexual position to try to take it slow with. They could take their time once they got Gwen out of their bed. For now this would just be a make up fuck.

She had to force herself to keep her moans down. Getting caught was unacceptable. House apparently didn't take that into account when he suddenly gave her ass a light smack. A surprised yelp escaped her. She turned her head and shot him an amused but chastising look. His response to that look was to flash her a bright smile and move his hand around her front to rub her clit once again. With that she was lost. She rode out her climax clinging to the desk.

His own climax followed right behind hers as her tightening walls milked him dry. He stood behind her panting until he had gathered himself enough to be able to pull out and give her some space.

She slowly pried herself up from the desk. When she felt that her legs would hold her turned away from it and wrapped her arms around his middle clinging to him.

He ran his hands over her bare back and kissed the top of her head, "I missed you." He whispered breathlessly.

She placed her own kiss onto his chest, "I missed you too." She knew that in a few minutes she would have to get dressed and go back to work pretending like she hadn't just had fabulous make up sex with her husband on her desk, but for just a few minutes she allowed herself to stay in his arms reveling in the fact that he was fully back with her now. She would not have to live without him anymore. He was back and it was forever. He had promised her that and, and she chose to believe him.


	44. Story of Us

**A.N.: Who is happy that they made up? Show of hands! -raises hand- I hope that you have all enjoyed my roller coaster ride of a Huddy fic as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I have reached the end of my road. The question now is whether to write a sequal (something I am seriously leaning towards) or to write and epilogue. Give me some feed back. If you would all like to see them a few years down the road then let me know. Or maybe their story should stop here. Idk I don't want them to overstay their welcome.**

**Anyway enjoy this chapter to round things off. Sorry for the shortness, but hey I think it is sweet. Call me sappy xD Thanks for all of your reviews (yay for reaching the 200 mark!)**

**As always, I do not own.**

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><p>Two weeks had passed since Cuddy had finally given in and trusted House again. His much anticipated return to work was not nearly as enjoyable as he had thought it would be. He had missed his job, his team, his desk, his puzzles, but he was not enjoying all of the work Cuddy was trying to make him put in so that he could get his lisence back. He didn't even actually do the required observation hours when he was still in med school. What the hell made her think that he would do them now? He knew that given a little time and a lot more aggravation that she would give in and just sign off on the paperwork. He was happy in the knowledge that not only had their home life gone back to normal, but their work life had as well. He despised change.<p>

Gwen had finally started to sleep in her own bed again. He could tell that the paranoia she felt about him leaving still lay dormant within her, but she too seemed to be trusting him again. It was her that brought him home at exactly five o'clock every day no matter what. He made sure that his team could reach him, it wasn't like he could actually practice medicine anyway, but when it came to choosing either keeping Gwen's trust or sitting around waiting to see if his patient would respond to the latest treatment he would choose Gwen every time. Her smile and hug when he came home was more than worth it. On top of that he got to spend an hour or two with Evan without Cuddy being there. He knew that she didn't mean to, but he found it a little hard to bond with his son when Cuddy was always stepping in to do things for him before House could even try. He assumed that she had gotten used to doing everything during his time away, but he was back now. He wanted to bond with his son. Unfortunately, though, he was sure that he was going to have a momma's boy on his hands. Evan had gotten used to House's company again, he would even crack a smile for him now and again, but he would literally beam the minute Cuddy walked into the room. A part of him was happy for their bond, but the other was jealous. He wanted to have that bond with his son. The kind of bond his own father would never have been able to accomplish. He just reminded himself that Evan was still young. He had time.

On one particular day while they were waiting for Cuddy to come home, House wandered over to his piano. He realized that he had not touched the instrument since his return home. He played a few chords then glanced over to the kids in the middle of the living room. Gwen payed him no mind at all simply continuing to brush out her doll's curls, but Evan's eyes were locked on him. He was perched in his walker completely unmoving. Curious to see how Evan would react, House began to play again this time with his eyes staying on his son instead of his hands.

Evan immediately began to push his feet against the floor scooting the walker over towards the piano. When he was close enough House stopped playing. He pulled Evan out of the walker and sat down on the piano bench with the boy on his lap. When he began to play again he could see Evan's head moving trying to follow both hands at the same time. He stopped yet again only to have Evan look up at him accusingly and let out a loud 'BAH!' in protest. Now that he knew his father was the source of the noise he did not take kindly to stopping and starting.

House smiled down on the little boy. This would be their bond. He knew it. He had known that the boy liked to be sang to because of Cuddy, but this was something he could pass down to Evan that Cuddy could not. He could pass down his love of music.

He let thoughts of teaching his son to play run through his mind as he started to play a light, fun melody. It quickly merged from light and fun to dark and low. It went on like that for a few moments before becoming bright and hopeful then soft and gentle only to return back to dark. He had just let it merge back to soft and gentle when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up instantly returning the smile that his wife was giving him.

"What is that?" She asked curiously. She knew that it was nothing that she had ever heard before.

He looked back down at the piano never having stopped his playing not wanting to upset Evan, "It's us." He answered simply.

She bit her bottom lip before breaking into a huge grin, "How does it end?"

That made him chuckle, "I guess you will just have to stick around and find out." His fingers faltered in their playing from the surprise of having her lips pressed against him, but he made a quick recovery when she pulled back.

"There is no place I would rather be." With that she walked away to greet her daughter while father and son kept their place at the piano playing the song that he wrote to tell the story of their lives.


	45. Author Note

**I have come to the conclusion that I will in fact try my hand at a sequel, mostly because I think I have a pretty decent idea for the plot. Also because I love their kids xD**

**I will also be writing a different fic along side it that will have no relation to the "It Would Be You" universe. So yeah keep your eyes on the horizon for that too, kay?**

**Thanks again for all the support!**

**Love,**  
><strong>Kristy<strong>


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